The Outlaw Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 If anyone is that quick to cut you off out of their lives, it was either worse on his end when you broke up, our it may have never meant as much to him as he thought it did. To each their own, but since he's bragging about sleeping around with her, heck, I think he did you a favor. Nobody that makes who they slept with everyone's business isn't worth it. Should you run into him again, make no contact with him whatsoever no matter how much you would like to do so. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Anyone who jumps from relationship to relationship has some sort of character defect. Or he might like having sex... I do think he (being 36) will get bored with a 19 year old, as they will have little in common, but for now he seems happy to be sleeping with this teenager. In the end, when I broke up with (or got dumped) by someone, I didn't really care what or who they did next or how quickly. I never wished them any ill will and if the next person made them happier, so be it. In turn, I attempted to find my "NEXT" and some new happiness. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 She's legal. He's your EX. It's none of your business. This is why it's a terrible idea to be "friends" with an EX -- you get info you don't want about the new developments in their sex life. Just walk away from him & any & all updates about what he's doing. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 You got 72 responses to your post last month about this. I don't think there's anything new to say. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Or he might like having sex... Yep, like I said. He’s trying to fill a void. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Yep, like I said. He’s trying to fill a void. Sex is enjoyable for guys, it has nothing to do with filling a void. Some guys (including me) do what makes us happy, sex is fun and makes us happy. Moreover, testosterone makes us want to mate/have sex... simple biology. When dumped, I go out immediately and try to find the next woman to have sex with. When I was 36, I probably dated a women 30-40 years old, but 19 is legal. If he wants to date/sleep with a 19 year old, more power to him. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 So what you’re saying it’s not a relationship, it’s just about sex? Op be glad you’re away from a man like that! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 So what you’re saying it’s not a relationship, it’s just about sex? If I'm not having sex there is no relationship. If I enjoy having sex with a woman and we are having fun (outside of the bedroom), the relationship continues. When its stops being fun or she cuts me off, then I'm gone. If we are in the early stages of dating and haven't had sex yet, I call that the "Dating" or "getting to know you" phase of the interaction. Once we have sex, then I will use the term "relationship". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 You got 72 responses to your post last month about this. I don't think there's anything new to say. Exactly. You've already posted about this, OP. I don't think you're going hear anything different in a new thread. Stay out of his life. Don't try to be his friend. Who he is having sex with or dating - and why - is not your concern. You need to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 If I'm not having sex there is no relationship. I understand what you’re saying. Not sure why you’re making this all about you though but whatever. Blonde girl I think just keep doing what you’re doing by moving forward and healing yourself. One day you might even thank him for letting you go and I hope that day’s soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Note from moderation, 2 threads on the same subject have been merged into one, I left the opening post in the newest thread merged into this one. Thanks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 Not sure why you’re making this all about you though but whatever. I'm just putting myself in the guy's shoes to explain why he has moved on and is having sex with someone new. Being a man, who has dated A LOT throughout my life provides me with a wealth of experiences. If those experiences can offer explanations to the OP, perhaps she will be able to understand why men do what we do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 I don't know why you would ever want to work things out with this guy after the way he has treated you. As I told you before you cannot be his friend because it hurts you to hear about him and his new girl. You asked him to be friends but not to bring her up. That is unrealistic as a friend. You would be fooling yourself by thinking you could be his friend and it would be fake. No, it isn't your business who he is dating and you aren't doing yourself any favors by constantly checking his social media to see what pictures he has up. This will set you back and prevent you from moving forward. It's good you are working out and getting into shape. Don't do it to lure him back but for your strength of mind and body. I know it hurts but trust me you will be okay. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 So what you’re saying it’s not a relationship, it’s just about sex? yeah, sex and bragging rights. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beachead Posted September 22, 2019 Share Posted September 22, 2019 (edited) Hey Blondgirl89, ......I’m not sure if I should be angry or not with him because I asked? Was I wrong to overreact? This is why you can't be friends with an ex. This guy broke up with you, and you opted to stay in his life because it was too hard to leave. You convinced yourself to have a "friendship" out of hope that you could turn him around and start things up again. You're in pain, because you stuck around. It's important you own that responsibility because it puts control back into your hands and that means you can learn from it and change for the future. When a person breaks up with you, they were thinking about it for awhile before they pulled the plug. By the time they do it, they're pretty much over the relationship and losing you and are ready to move forward with their life. They feel like crap for lying in the relationship and eventually burning the other person so it's a relief to them when they end it. This is how he jumped to a new thing so fast. Jumping into a new thing without having sufficient time alone to clear his mind is a sign of a person who deals with his problems poorly. He uses other people to help himself heal up from the breakup, because he doesn't want to deal with the aftermath of your emotions, his emotions or anything. It also means he's likely afraid to be on his own. He's basically transferring who he was with you over to her, but she is an entirely different person, with different wants and needs, different values..and he's going to realize that soon. He's also going to be working through his breakup with you in the coming few months once the novelty of this thing he has with her wears off, and it'll happen while he's with her. Not good for them. All in all, a 36 year old man with a 19 year old girl isn't going to work out well for either of them. Apart from sex, they'd have ver little in common. How are her young friends going to get along with him. What about her parents? 19 is an age where a person hasn't become to live their life properly. She's still figuring out what she wants to do, which could take her to a different part of the world. She's still assessing her taste in men. She's discovering that she can attract men, and she's going to have to work through her ego. They are in two different stages in life and that's going expose itself down the road, and burn him, if he deludes himself into believing he has something real with her. All in all, there is possibility a douche like him will come back after a few months, maybe several, if things haven't been working out too well for him, in the dating scene. If he does, know it will be an insincere, self serving attempt to con you back into his life and that it's very likely, he'll just keep you around as a pit stop until he finds someone better. If you accept his return, you only communicate to him "Go ahead, treat me like sh*t. I'm okay with it." In any case, he's your ex now. You have to start thinking like that and realize, it can't be your business what he does in his free time now. You have to concentrate on yourself. It's painful being broken up with and remembering all the promises a person made but in the end, a lot of it is just words. What defines a person is really what they do. And this guy? This guy decided to drop you and bounce to a new girl immediately after. That should speak volumes. Use it to help yourself heal. Don't reach out to him. Don't date, you're not ready for it. Just concentrate on building your life with things that bring you good energy. Surround yourself around people who want to be around you and who actually love you. And give yourself ample alone time to let yourself grieve this out. You're going to realize after several months that you'll feel more clear and resolved about staying from him. With more time, you'll start to approach dating as a means to enhance your life, instead of a means to escape pain. Stay strong - Beach Edited September 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 All in all, a 36 year old man with a 19 year old girl isn't going to work out well for either of them. Apart from sex, they'd have ver little in common. Bit of a sweeping generalization. Women grow up quicker than men. Also, if he were dating someone his age and she wanted kids, they wouldn't have much time. That's a terrific amount of pressure. The 19 year old however will be in her childbirth years for a while, as will he. And believe it or not, young women have personalities also. I've met 21 year old women who know themselves and have emotional maturity, 40 year olds who are still kids. And if these consenting adults are just having fun, that is there business. Going back to the original topic, he is now free and single. The OP must cut off contact so that she does not get hurt, and make her own personal life a priority. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 Looks like it's been over a week since the OP stopped by so we'll close this one for the time being. If the OP returns and would like to update they can request the thread reopened by sending an ALERT on this post. Link to post Share on other sites
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