Why is Love a Big Deal

[chillii]

Sounds realistic needs and likes to me of any half decent real relationship.

Maybe you just haven't come across her.Sometimes it's just plain old luck the biggest part .Sometimes they do nothing wrong, just haven't been right place right time.

Some are lucky like that, some just take whatever comes their way , some know how to go find it and it works, but personally l think it's all about luck to because ya can't do any of those anyway if luck doesn't run your way too.

We all have our luck areas, you have great friends and family , that's a really lucky thing to have many people don't have any of that , it just never works out, probably a job you like a house you like , a life you like, that's over all a fair bit of luck , life is def your area of luck moreso than obviously love.

Not to say love won't happen but it's probably your area where you have to get a bit creative and pushy if it's going to happen. We all have things that don't come easy and we have to work to make it happen.Some it's money, work, achieving, friendships, whatever.

l've never been lucky in friendships, l'm not very good at friendships, and if l do make a great friendship one of us moved away, happened my whole life, l except it now, not all that great with family either, big family, it's always been a roller coaster, but l've just tripped over women my whole life and it always gets serious. Got good taste in women.

l've never been able to just screw around though not that l was into that but lf l was l couldn't anyway , it just gets complicated and feelings from anyone l've ever met.

l seem to be relationship material haha, god knows why don't think lm very good at that either tbh.

Money , l was successful very young but l did have to work at it and earn it, it didn't just fall into my lap. And later on through other decisions, that went down later in life and l even ended up struggling again later on , then up, then down with divorce, but l've always known l can do it it again and l have , but l do have to work at it.

 

Rant point being, know your areas, and you obviously have to do something to find love, that obviously doesn';t just come easy to you , like friendships or money with me. The money l always knew l can make happen , with work , friendships seems to be nothing l can do,same with family stuff, tried it all , to hell with it, tis what it tis.

Edited October 10, 2019 by chillii

[SumGuy]

That all sounds good Mysterio, love your interests, and know from my experience plenty of women do to.

 

It could be you are just not in a location or situations where the odds are high you will meet the quality person you are looking for.

 

I did notice you are 48, if never married that I've heard is a concern to many women.

 

Also if you are 48 and set you age range down to 27 on OLD apps, that is a big red flag to a lot of women I hear. That plus never being married would be a big NO to a lot of quality women. At the lowest you should not go down below 36, that is 12 years lower to balance out 12 years higher. So 36-60. If me I'd set it more like 40-60.

 

I assume though you are not looking to have kids at your age, so that is a plus for the older women (50+ usually) who are moving on to the semi-retire and travel stage of life.

[What_Did_I_Do]

Mysterio, your physical traits, likes and hobbies sound wonderful.

 

Though the requirements you want in a potential partner may be what is limiting your success in the love world. For example, there are some ladies in their late 40's and early 50's where the kids are older and possibly moved out from the home. Thus there is limited 'parenting' or need for regular interaction with an ex-partner.

 

In dating, I'd pass on the on the never married / no kids gentlemen who are in my age range. Reason why is all, not some, but all of them, had a uniquely selfish quality (good grief that sounds awful to say). But to their full defence, they never had the highs and lows experience of marriage (and the sucker punch to the soul, personality changing effects of a divorce) or had to put their own wants and desires aside for their kids. So it was a little harder to find enough common ground to consider anything long term. That match had to be something extraordinary which unfortunately, never happened for me.

 

Maybe just try to look outside a bit of your scope. You are still young enough to meet someone and fall hopelessly in love.

[chillii]

Yeah that's true for me too .

Once back when , single days, met this chick 49 never married or had a long relationship either.

Man she was so different. She was a real sweetheart and very good natured but still l could feel around her all the time she was just use to being on her own and just didn't really understand how to be two or much about men.

There was a lot of even just really simple things too, like she made tea and gave me this tiny little bowl of fried rice, that's it.

She was only a 4'9 female but l'm a 6ft guy, l need a lot more than a little bowl of rice l was waiting all night for the rest tummy rumbling like a volcano haha, but funny really , she was just oblivious to it. Next morning she made me salad for breakfast , Jesus l'm thinking where's a shop, fast.

Or she wanted to go to the tennis next morning l couldn't go had something else on , she didn't get nasty or anything but she just could not understand why l couldn't just go- do what l want.

Bad examples it's hard to explain but l just saw really obvious stuff non stop all kinds of things it was like she was just one not two when we were together but she was totally oblivious.

l'm thinking the whole time holy hell l wouldn't even know where to begin it'll take the rest of her life to unlearn being single .

Edited October 12, 2019 by chillii

[chillii]

l felt guilty saying that and kept it to the simple basics, she was a real sweetheart but the training, yikes.

Not to say it might be the same with others though, l'd like to think most couple stuff is an inbuilt instinct even if they don't have experience butttt, l dunno.

[Mysterio]

Here is how I want to be seen. I want to be looked at as a man that is warm and loving sweet guy. Yet No-Nonesense as well. I look at three of my friends and the way they got with their women was severe compromise.

 

DT-Let his Ex back into his life in Feb 2013. Somehow around Dec 2014 she talked him into having a kid with her and he moved into her house with her two teenage kids in 2015, while she is still legally married to her ex who she has been separated since 2010 and the ex has a new GF by about 3 yrs or so. That is not happening to me. The Ex is still stalling the Divorce.

 

DB met his wife over a dating site in October 2003. Moved her in a April of 2004 and married her in Nov 2004. All this while she was still legally separated from her ex who she was separated with from 2000. She did get the Divrce by Summer of 2004. They had two kids. One in 2005 the other in 2007. She left DB in March of 2008. She said that all the feeling were gone and no counciling would be happening. She was with another guy by Summer of 2008 and had twins by that guy in 2009 and they broke up by 2010. Not even 2 yrs. She is on guy #5 who takes care of her financially add the child support with baby daddy DB and the Twins father and she does not work.

 

T met his lady over the internet dating site I think. She lives in another city. He had to commute to maintain the relationship. from 2004 to 2009. He moved to be with her in 2009. They have a 10 yr old now.

 

All these three friends had hard choices to make. I feel like they gave more to their women than the women did for them. I am not doing that.

 

It can't be this hard to romantically connect. Thats why I think a lot of men should just be a bit more vetting minded when it comes to getting into a relationship.

 

Its these tales that make me weary of romantic relationships. If I am going to have one. Right from the start it had to be a good fit from the start.

 

So that means I have to have my head and eyes/ears open. Once again. The woman has to be single. Childless or I guess if she has one close to 18. I guess I could work it out in my heart. I just figure that if I can stay single and childless. The woman I go long term should be able to be as well. I just can't imagine being with a woman with a child and the drama with the father and what not. On her side she gets a guy that does not have much baggage.

 

I don't know what else to say.