SptmbrBaby73 Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 I don't know where to start...I'm blown away really..confused as to why my friend is treating me like this. I'll try to stick to the point..but let me begin with when we first met. (I'll call my friend Amy) Amy moved in with her family next door to me about 3 yrs ago. I had just moved into the neighborhood 3 month earlier..so naturally I introduced myself and my family. My husband never really liked her. She has a really outgoing but offensive personality most of the time. She reminds me of old friends and a free additude...so I found her interesting. We also had a similiar upbringing. I was standoffish though..because it takes me a while to trust people...rightfully so...trust has to be earned..in my oppinion. I did notice that somethings were strange about her. She loved to over involve herself in others affairs. It seem to me..that she did get some enjoyment out of causing friction...whatever kind. On the flip side she could be so caring at times. I neglected to call her a true friend for the reasons that I stated and also she would act like she was happy to see me one day and would be terribly cold and sarcastic the next. I would come to visit and she would give me a cold shoulder...so I didn't come over unless she invited me...I don't get out alot..have small children...so I was desepately needing a friend. She moved off to a town about 20 minutes away from me & life went on. Her son would keep in touch with my oldest...other than that we didn't speak much. Here lately..I have been having probs in my marriage...she just happen to come by to visit about 3 months ago...my son went to spend the nite with her son..and that is how our friendship got started again..well my husband wasn't happy about that. He doesn't think that I need her friendship..expecially now. I got tired of my husband trying to keep me from visiting her..she offered to let me stay with her..becuz he was to controlling..so I did...then she started directing me to tell him this and that..which I didn't on some of it. she is trying to do the very same thing she claims he is trying to do. I was invited to her b-day party at a club and my husband could go..but only if he didn't cause a scene..which he has never done be4..so I dunno why she had to sneak that in. So she comes to get me..my husband was suppose to follow us to her home..he didn't really know the way. She starts trying to loose him..but she can't. It terrified me. She gets on the phone and starts telling her husband that my husband is acting like a maniac..becuz he will stop at nothing to get what he wants "me". I grab the phone from her and plead her husband to ask her to stop..becuz were all gonna get into a wreck. I didn't go over 4 a week after that incident. after a week goes by a go visit and she asks me if I would put her sons football pics on my credit card and they would pay me back for it. I said sure becuz I love her kids. Then she calls me up telling me that her electric would be turned off if they couldn't pay the bill...her husband was between jobs..asked me to sneak the money from my husband..but I said I couldn't...so then she calls my husband up on the phone..a man she hates..and asks him to borrow the money...and to my surprise he lets them borrow $50. Now...she does everything to aviod us..and she is ovious about it..it really hurts but I'm finally getting the picture...when be4 I made excuses for her..there are none to be made now...should I cut my losses and stop having anything to do with her..or try to get my money back...why can't I find a good friend? Link to post Share on other sites
IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 OK this is kinda funny...I was wathching Van Wilder the other night and there was a scene where his father says "In know a bad investment when he sees one and you must cut your losses." Your only losing, you not gaining anything. If cut your losses, Your not losing anymore. Your one step closer to making something. Lose it. It makes sense. Why lose when you can gain. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 You should've cut her out of your life from the very beginning when she gave you the cold shoulder, but you were in need of a friend and overlooked all her faults, which were right in front of your husband's eyes - poor guy... $50 is a small price to pay if that is what it will take for you to get rid of her from your lives for good. She was obviously trying to break up your marriage, control and manipulate your family and take advantage financially. Maybe you could sell a few items you no longer need on ebay or have a garage sale to make a little money to make up for the amount you lost to her if your family is struggling financially. She put your life at risk while driving recklessly. Your children might have lost their mother. You could take her to small claims court to have her repay what she owes you, but I think that to never have contact with her again is worth much more than any amount she may owe you. Be thankful it wasn't more... The amount she smooched off of you is worth more to her than your friendship, she'd rather never see you again than repay it! Be happy things did not turn out worse and cut your losses, and take from it what you did gain, which was a valuable lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 The amount she smooched off of you is worth more to her than your friendship, she'd rather never see you again than repay it! Be happy things did not turn out worse and cut your losses, and take from it what you did gain, which was a valuable lesson. There is a great deal of wisdom and foresight in HotCaliGirl's post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SptmbrBaby73 Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 I guess that if I were getting this advice 2 weeks ago..I would have ignored it...just as I ignored my husband...He is a jealous person...so I just figured that was his motivation. She owes me $82 in all...but even still..not enough to cry over...just depressed that I don't have a friend. I feel so pathetic..but I'm so empty now that she isn't paying any attention to me...how can I make a friend that will stick around and be there and care about me? Thnx 4 the replies...I appreciate it, ya'll Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I was starting to get suspicious about your husband and her even before you mentioned the party. I was invited to her b-day party at a club and my husband could go..but only if he didn't cause a scene..which he has never done be4..so I dunno why she had to sneak that in. Why would she say that if they always kept a safe distance? He doesn't think that I need her friendship..especially now. I got tired of my husband trying to keep me from visiting her..she offered to let me stay with her..becuz he was to controlling..so I did Why was your husband so against her? Here lately..I have been having probs in my marriage...she just happen to come by to visit about 3 months ago Interesting... She starts trying to loose him..but she can't. It terrified me. She gets on the phone and starts telling her husband that my husband is acting like a maniac..becuz he will stop at nothing to get what he wants "me". What do you mean to get what he wants "you"? She was telling her husband things about your husband that are supposedly untrue just out of the blue? :confused: asked me to sneak the money from my husband..but I said I couldn't...so then she calls my husband up on the phone..a man she hates..and asks him to borrow the money...and to my surprise he lets them borrow $50.And to my surprise also... Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 RP - you have taken this thread to a whole different level - very interesting interpretation. Maybe the husband had an affair and he has been paying her off to keep quiet? Also, the same time marriage problems are happening, she happens to stop by to visit after it had been 3 months, shortly after that she is starting to borrower money. Link to post Share on other sites
gevoraksix Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 You can try a friendship with this person - but it probably won't work. It could work if it was ever a good healthy friendship ,but from what you write it doesn't seem that way. Friendships come and go in life We usually select our friends at different times of our lives based on school , co-workers, neighbors ,outside activities. You deserve a better friend she sounds like dysfunctional person and too high maintenance . 50$and she's gone you got out easy. You cant force a friendship and you shouldn't accept any friend just to have a friend. I know you want it to stay ´Pleasant´ around here, but, there are so many things that are so much better: like Silly... or Sexy... or Dangerous... or Wild... or Brief... And every one of those things is in you all the time if you just have the guts to look for them." -- Pleasant Ville (David) Link to post Share on other sites
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