Promissory notes

[MableKath]

Has anyone had to use these and are they considered family debt?

 

I have had to borrow 60 grand so far.

We have been separated almost 2 years and I have not received support from Stbx husband.

The problem is I have been getting this money from a friend here and there. From transfers, checks, cash. I filled out a legal looking form and we both signed it and I owe they money back to her. But I don't have copies of all the money going into my account. Now I'm thinking maybe I should have a copy to prove I did borrow all this money.

Do I need to have copies of all money going to me or are the notes good enough for court?

Thanks.

MableKath

[preraph]

You can get copies of your bank statements that will show the money coming and going from your account. You might have to go into the bank and ask for it if it's for more than the last 12 months. Otherwise, you might be able to do it online for the last year or 18 months.

 

You should keep copies of everything, and especially what you've paid back on the Promissory Notes. Don't just hand over cash or Western Union or anything like that. It should come form an account so you have proof. Promissory Notes are legal if they are signed by you. Promissory Notes don't normally have interest. They must say "Promissory Note" on them and be signed.

[carhill]

Separate issues...

Check your jurisdiction/family court for details...

If you've (or your spouse) filed for divorce or legal separation, in general debt you incur after is your own, not 'family' (marital).

 

If your spouse owes you support as ordered by the court or agreed to in court documents, then you can get a judgement against the spouse for that support and attach assets, garnishee wages, modify the asset settlement, etc, etc.

 

The promissory note and payments to and moneys received from it is a tertiary issue. That's between you and the lender. That it's because your stbx isn't paying you support is not relevant to the specifics of it. Of course you can use evidence of it to support your case for a judgment against stbx if he's been ordered to/agreed to pay you and hasn't.

 

Clear as mud? That's why they pay lawyers big bucks. A local one can give you all the answers you need specific to your jurisdiction generally in a free consultation. Of course their further work on the case is billable hours. If you are floating sixty grand out there I'd get a lawyer involved, IMO it's worth it at that level. Good luck!

[MableKath]

Thank you so much you two for your replies.

I do have a lawyer and I emailed him that but he takes weeks to get back to me so I do my own research.

 

So what you said is AFTER we have separated aka, he left my ass, then any dept I get myself into is only MY problem? Damn, I thought he's have to share that 50 percent.

 

Also just to let you know he hasn't paid me any child support or alimony yet because he's dragging his feet and not providing his financial statements yet.

Edited September 17, 2019 by MableKath

[preraph]

Well, just stick with your attorney. You'll be responsible for your debts on loans you take out, but he'll be responsible for child support and/or if there's alimony where you live. If you can't find your attorney, that's odd, so I'm wondering if he realizes he might never get paid and is laying low? Because he should be available to you.

[preraph]

If he has no advice on this for you, though, it might be time you called the court clerk and asked how to file for child support yourself. You probably need to start working.

[Mrin]

Well, just stick with your attorney. You'll be responsible for your debts on loans you take out, but he'll be responsible for child support and/or if there's alimony where you live. If you can't find your attorney, that's odd, so I'm wondering if he realizes he might never get paid and is laying low? Because he should be available to you.

 

This is pretty accurate. In most jurisdictions debt incurred by a party after separation isn't considered communal debt.

[Mr. Lucky]

Damn, I thought he's have to share that 50 percent.

 

Unless there's a good reason your attorney hasn't filed for a temporary order of support, I'd get a new lawyer. There are ways of dealing with this...

 

Mr. Lucky

[S2B]

Why haven’t you filed for emergency support money?

 

Even if it’s a temporary order - it’s still money coming in!

 

Your ex (if he’s been married to you for a long while and made more than you) is responsible for supporting you (at least partially/in some level).

 

Your “friend” isn’t responsible for supporting you. You’ve let TEO years of incoming money bypass you. He won’t owe you for that timeframe.

 

Get an order ASAP. Do you work full tome?

 

Who is the friend loaning the money? I’m afraid you will be the only one who owes that money - check with an attorney.

[S2B]

Since it’s your ex dragging this out - estimate his income on the higher side just to get in front of a judge ASAP. And get a new attorney!

 

Did you sign tax returns when you were together? Do you remember what he made/what you made combined?

[Blind-Sided]

....

 

So what you said is AFTER we have separated aka, he left my ass, then any dept I get myself into is only MY problem? Damn, I thought he's have to share that 50 percent.

 

 

OK... I know this may suck to hear... but why should he be responsible for debt that he knows nothing about? If it wasn't that way... what would stop a jaded stbx from simply buying a million dollar car or house, and sticking the other side with a bill they didn't agree too?

 

....Also just to let you know he hasn't paid me any child support or alimony yet because he's dragging his feet and not providing his financial statements yet.

 

 

OK... here's the other side. We don't know the entire story. I've read on here a bunch of times that the other party was dragging their feet. But the reality is... you don't need the other party to move forward with a divorce. You can file for it, and you can ask for anything you think you may be entitled to.

 

 

With that said... I'm going to give you a little reality check. This may sound rough, but... just because you want alimony and/or child support... doesn't mean you are entitled to it. Here again, we don't know your story.

 

 

I'm just newly divorced, and it's been ugly. My exw wanted alimony, and it was in the original decree. But, she is educated, and has had a good paying job over all the years we've been married. We didn't release any real finatials to the courts, but I simply took a picture of one of her current paycheck stubs, and I took a picture of one of mine, and showed them to my lawyer. At that point... it was shut down, and she was mad. Now... If you have been a "House Wife" and had no income for a bunch of years... then you will be entitled. Just get a temp decree for support.

 

 

It's the same thing with child support. You may want it, and think you are entitled... but if your stbx doesn't have a criminal record, and has nothing that would legally keep the kids from him... then they will probably give 50/50 custody, and you won't get any child support. That's what happened with me. The ex wanted support, and only to give me "Visitation". I said no, and asked for 50/50 and got it without a question because the courts want the kids to maintain a relationship with both parents.

 

 

Anyway... I wish you the best, and since this has been dragging on for as long as it has... find a new lawyer, and do the filings so you can move on with your life.

[PegNosePete]

So what you said is AFTER we have separated aka, he left my ass, then any dept I get myself into is only MY problem? Damn, I thought he's have to share that 50 percent.

It very much depends on the circumstances, figures, assets, debts, reasons, situations, commitments, length of marriage, number and ages of children, etc etc and most importantly reason for the debts and jurisdiction. But in almost all jurisdictions it's very rarely so simple as post-split debts being either 100% yours or a 50/50 split. We have no idea what that debt was for! It could be anything from necessary debt to pay rent to keep a roof over your kids heads, to gambling debts. When you divorce through the courts, everything is thrown into the marital assets pot, and what comes out on your side or your STBX's side is hardly ever so simple to predict as that. There are so many factors, you need to look at the big picture. It's impossible to look at one piece of the puzzle and say yes it fits there.

 

And if you agree through consent rather than the courts, it's rarely that simple either. In fact it's all horse trading. I'll take this debt if you take that one, you can keep that asset if I can keep this, you can have that asset if you take this debt, etc.

 

Of course your lawyer is the best to answer this question because he has all the facts and figures in front of him, and knows the laws in your jurisdiction. The reason he's taking a long time to respond may be that he knows it's not a simple yes/no answer, and he doesn't want to rack up your fees writing a long letter explaining that it's not a simple answer. I wouldn't be so quick to say "get a new lawyer!" because most lawyers know what they are doing, even if it doesn't seem apparent to the client. He probably has a very good reason for not replying or taking a long time to reply, it's very rarely that they are a bad lawyer or lazy.

Edited September 20, 2019 by PegNosePete

[MableKath]

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPER EDUCATIONAL INFO!!!!!

I REALLY appreciate it, I know we are all so busy so thanks for the time. You guys are extremely great.

 

We've been married about 20 yrs, he makes WAY more than me, our son is now 19. But back payment for alimony and child support would be cool.

 

I really don't want to get a new lawyer cause I've been with him for almost 2 years and 5000 retainer later and he's really smart and in this small town, he's the best. Maybe that's why he's so damn busy.

Here's my lawyers response to me wanting him to get on all this:

 

Hi Mabel. Our next move is to prepare a spousal support application. George (his assistant) and I will start to work on that and it will be supported by an affidavit from you. I have a trial which is supposed to commence October 7th and am not sure whether that will settle in advance or not. If it does, it will free up some time. I would like to have your application brought and heard sometime in November ideally.

 

George and/or I will be in touch with you soon so we can meet to discuss our overall strategy on the interim application.

 

Best,

 

Fred (lawyer)

 

 

So I said immediately, in response to him -

 

ok thanks. The earlier we get on this meeting the better for me. He is starving me out with zero alimony, he stopped paying house things like the $5000.00 tax bill, insurance etc. I am getting 500 dollar Bill's for late fees etc. So we need to get this alimony from STBX before I just make a terrible quick deal with him. Did he send his financials to you?

Thanks

 

 

 

Lawyers response -

 

0

 

 

And this was about 3 days ago that I answered his response. I feel so freaking in the damn DARK. I know the ex has been going to Mexico twice a year and probably bringing money to hide from me. Probably buying a place down there. He's always wanted a place down there and I know he was looking for one last time he was there cause I over heard his mom tell him she's got a realtor card from his one he was using 6 months ago. He and his new girlfriend and my son all blocked me so I'm in the dark. Son started living with him for the last month and his dad told him I'm trying to get all his money so son hates me. (btw little things like names and genders are changed to help protect my and others identity) Never know if ex and his GF might look on here.

 

Thanks so much for reading all the way to here. I'm been ready tons of divorce books to learn as much as possible and listen to podcasts. If anyone has any books or movies or podcast suggestions, please let me know. I need to keep learning.

Thank you again!!!!

 

Mable

[Mr. Lucky]

Hi Mabel. Our next move is to prepare a spousal support application.

 

Just seems like something, based on your timeline, should have been done long ago. You obviously have financial needs or you wouldn't be borrowing $60K from friends.

 

Does your lawyer know you've incurred this additional debt? Has he explained why you're on the legal version of the slow train to nowhere?

 

Seems like something's missing...

 

Mr. Lucky

[S2B]

He is NOT a good attorney if he allowed you to let 2 years pass by without an order from the court!

 

Do you understand that if he was ordered to pay you (let’s pick a random number) $2500 per month - you have allowed $60,000 to slip away!!!

 

And also child support you could have been getting for your 19 year old! But now not likely because he’s 19.

 

You NEED to tell that attorney in an URGENT voice “I need an EMERGENCY order from the court”! And that means you’ll see the judge tomorrow!

 

Stop being so nice - your exH is screwing you over and this attorney isn’t helping YOU!

 

Get in front of the judge ASAP! That’s the only way he will be obligated to give you money! That attorney just overlooked YOUR basic needs for two more months! And it’s not right to borrow money when your ex should be paying!

 

Go to the office - pick up your retainer money and take it to the NEW lawyer - one that will DO the work he’s/she’s paid to get done!

 

That lawyer is simply stonewalling you by putting you on the back burner! Stop going along with an inadequate attorney! I’ve worked for many and this one isn’t doing their job!!

[MableKath]

WOW ok my lawyer does sound overwhelmed. Well I'll march in his office Monday morning and demand he puts aside a few minutes for me to get this alimony going. He did tell me that my ex will have to pay me back payments for all this time he hasn't paid.

 

Thank you!