She always delays her texts but continues to date me?

[DrNo1962]

Been seeing a girl over the last couple of weeks and we are about to go out on our third date.

 

I’m not big on texting and as soon as I make a date I tend to get on with my week as I have quite a busy schedule, knowing that I’ll eventually meet her on our date at the end of the week.

 

However, she tends to drop me a message every now and again between dates and then takes quite a while (sometimes upwards of 24hrs+) to respond.

 

Not sure what her strategy is, but why send me a text if you can only get back to me hours later?

 

I also don’t answer texts at the drop of a hat but I always answer within a reasonable time frame.

[Kitty Tantrum]

Maybe she's not glued to her phone and maybe that's a good thing.

 

If she sends you a message and you take more than a few minutes to reply, don't you think it's possible that she's just put her phone down by then and/or is busy with real life stuff and is picking back up when it's convenient?

 

Some of us still live full and busy lives outside of our screens. It often takes me 1-3 days to reply to messages that come in (from anyone) outside of my usual "phone checking time" unless it's obviously time-sensitive.

[Mr. Lucky]

I also don’t answer texts at the drop of a hat but I always answer within a reasonable time frame.

 

As Kitty points out, maybe she has a different definition of "a reasonable time frame". You're not stuck by the side of the road hoping to be picked up, you're planning a date down the road.

 

Of my four kids, two still live here in town. One lives with the phone, I see the iMessage dots as soon as I hit send. The other doesn't know where their phone is half the time, lucky if I hear back that same week.

 

I never assumed based on response time one loved me more than the other...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Foxhall]

this is one of those ones that my view has changed a little on,

 

I always said texting and so on was irrelevant to the bigger picture, but good texting rapport I am finding recently is certainly a positive,

 

nothing extreme, but up to six to eight texts a day, replies every few hours, I am finding is building rapport,

 

if the couple get on well together, small talk texting should come naturally, if this area is proving difficult, funnily enough I am of the mindset now that it is actually a negative.

 

thinking in terms of the early stages of a relationship

Edited September 20, 2019 by Foxhall

[Kitty Tantrum]

nothing extreme, but up to six to eight texts a day, replies every few hours, I am finding is building rapport,

 

if the couple get on well together, small talk texting should come naturally, if this area is proving difficult, funnily enough I am of the mindset now that it is actually a negative.

 

Six to eight texts PER DAY? That's pretty extreme in my book.

 

My fiancé and I get on like dynamite (still after nearly four years) and I don't think we texted that many times per WEEK in the beginning, and it was only logistics.

 

I've been out of state for two and a half weeks visiting family, I just counted and we've had eight brief text exchanges, including the ones where I let him know my flights landed safely. For me that's a LOT.

[SumGuy]

B...

I’m not big on texting and as soon as I make a date I tend to get on with my week as I have quite a busy schedule, knowing that I’ll eventually meet her on our date at the end of the week.

She is mirroring you and/or has the same view. Isn't that what you want? Why complain about it? You should rejoice, she trust she'll meet up with you and things are good so why bother with texting?

 

However, she tends to drop me a message every now and again between dates and then takes quite a while (sometimes upwards of 24hrs+) to respond.

 

Not sure what her strategy is, but why send me a text if you can only get back to me hours later?

 

I also don’t answer texts at the drop of a hat but I always answer within a reasonable time frame.

 

Some view texting as basically a short e-mail.

A way to communicate and the receiver can read it at their leisure and one can respond at their leisure.

That's different when you are in the midst of coordinating.

 

So yes, people send a text when they have a spare moment and then get on with what they were doing, you are not the only one in this world with a busy life.

 

Especially if your reasonable time getting back is not right away.

Even if it is a few hours she may well be doing something and after all you are sending the message that get back to text when you can as that is what you are doing. When she can for her is just a lot longer than you.

 

If all else is good, don't ruin a good thing over behavior that you yourself engage in even if not to the same degree. If it really bugs you, just talk to her about it.