What am I doing wrong??

[Redguitar35]

Don't stress it man , just having a bad run. Good news is from my experience you are right now at your age entering the absolute prime of a guys life for women , so hang in there.

l found between early 30s and 40s by far the best age of all being male. lf your still looking good 20's love ya,30s love ya 40's love ya, worlds your oyster.

 

That hasn’t been my experience. I have no success with women at all.

[Art_Critic]

What? None. People on dating apps like tinder are just flakey as hell which I why I deleted all the apps.

 

Have you googled your name though to see what others would see if they Google you ?

It doesn't have to be you but someone with your same name that might have something bad in their past

The cancellations are the reason I ask..

[Redguitar35]

You are doing everything backwards that’s what!!!

 

This was my reply to another thread of yours which you ignored. If you really want advice and a relationship, you would not ignore but answer honestly.

 

“Why are you focusing on people’s success stories and not their numerous failures that preceded them?

 

Online dating requires minimal effort. You simply create a profile and send off a few messages.

Online dating should only be supplementary . What effort are you putting in , in real life? It seems none?? You later said you had no social circle. Why would anyone online find that attractive?

 

How exactly is a 30 something year old who works 50 hours a week supposed to make friends?? What you’re saying is unrealistic.

 

The guy that met his gf at the ACT test , actually likely put more effort in than you. Prior to that he developed a social life , confidence etc so that when he did talk to her , he had interesting things to talk about.

 

Exactly what effort are you putting in to be happy while single and become attractive to another?? Do you ever make small talk in real life??”

 

I find small talk boring. I actually find most people boring.

.

[Redguitar35]

Have you googled your name though to see what others would see if they Google you ?

It doesn't have to be you but someone with your same name that might have something bad in their past

The cancellations are the reason I ask..

 

I have googled myself and there is nothing out there. These women don’t even know my last name.

[Redguitar35]

just chill and stick with it; but you do need to present yourself as a catch. You have all this going on for you; do you exhibit that? Are you smiling? Are you someone you'd want to be around?

 

I did OLD for 2 years, met some nice temporary lovers who became good friends and had some really really bad dates. A few months ago met the girl who I think's gonna be the love of my life. It can work out. Just be your best you. Don't show your disappointment from the past experiences and letdowns would be my best advice. Good luck brother.

 

I refuse to go back to online dating. It is frustrating and depressing.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

How exactly is a 30 something year old who works 50 hours a week supposed to make friends?? What you’re saying is unrealistic.

.

 

Millions of people do it all over the world. You're not a unicorn. And you're only 30. You should have plenty of energy for this.

[The Outlaw]

Forget online. Try putting yourself into a social setting such as a singles class with people you may have something in common with. It's just better that way. People are far too indecisive and fickle online.

[chillii]

Have you googled your name though to see what others would see if they Google you ?

It doesn't have to be you but someone with your same name that might have something bad in their past

The cancellations are the reason I ask..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny , l was absolutely shytting it when l did but l tried that.But l didn't find one thing on me no matter how l tried but guess what , another guy with my exact name and living in the city l grew up in and of around the same age, comes up everywhere, he's a surgeon , so l'm lookin good haha.

 

l never put personal correct info on anything internet ever , cept my bank accounts and one or two other things like that that hide it anyway, no media or info anywhere. So l think it's working .

Mind you , one silly moron l met on a date site once rang me up abusing me later for using a fake name when we met, found me on FB , so she thought but ahhh, l'm not even on fb.

Edited September 21, 2019 by chillii

[FMW]

I find small talk boring. I actually find most people boring.

 

And that attitude surely comes through in person, and maybe even online.

 

Most initial conversations begin as "small talk" and then progress. You can't just jump from hello to deep philosophical conversations.

[5x5]

How exactly is a 30 something year old who works 50 hours a week supposed to make friends??

 

When I was your age, I was working 60-70 hours a week (married and with a toddler at home). While often having to go away for a week here a few weeks there and a few months somewhere else. Yet I was still making new friends and managed to go out whenever there was an opportunity.

 

As to making friends, talk to people, be interested in them, appreciate them even for their differences and be friendly towards them.

 

I find small talk boring. I actually find most people boring.

 

While ever you feel that way, dating is likely to remain difficult for you.

[5x5]

What would a girl want with a guy like that who has nothing going for him?

 

He is probably good company for her, he also probably makes her feel good emotionally. He is probably fun to be with and probably makes her feel good about herself. Plus he may also make her feel good sexually as well.

 

A person can have a lot going for them, without having a tertiary education, or a fancy job.

[chillii]

And that attitude surely comes through in person, and maybe even online.

 

Most initial conversations begin as "small talk" and then progress. You can't just jump from hello to deep philosophical conversations.

 

 

 

 

Yeah , soon as l saw that l'm thinking ahhhuuu. Now we might be getting somewhere.

Nothing wrong with a bit of small talk op , things have gotta start somewhere.

[preraph]

I've worked two jobs most of my life and it had no bearing on whether I had friends or not. When young, you should still have enough energy to get out and about.

[Redguitar35]

 

A person can have a lot going for them, without having a tertiary education, or a fancy job.

 

And a woman can have poor taste.

[Ruby Slippers]

What am i doing wrong? How can a single 33 year old with a high paying job, graduate education, and no kids or baby mammas be unable to get a woman?

Generally, I think women in the Western world in their 20s aren't thinking about romantic partnership as practically as they should. These are all practical considerations you're listing. For your target audience, it's more about fun. Fun comes from flirting and attraction.

 

I get the impression you're presenting yourself as a good-on-paper guy without flipping on the fun switch.

 

I sold a guitar to a guy the other day and apparently his girlfriend paid for the guitar and drove him to meet me because he didn’t have a ride (he had to cancel meeting up for the deal the first time because he didn’t have a ride). What would a girl want with a guy like that who has nothing going for him? You see what I’m saying?

I have no idea why some women drag along deadbeat men. Perhaps she thinks she doesn't deserve any better, or maybe there's a strong physical attraction, or maybe both.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I get the impression you're presenting yourself as a good-on-paper guy without flipping on the fun switch.

 

I agree. It seems like he presents himself as the exact opposite of fun. RG, I think this is what you're doing wrong (since that's the title of your post).

[Redguitar35]

I agree. It seems like he presents himself as the exact opposite of fun. RG, I think this is what you're doing wrong (since that's the title of your post).

 

Online dating was not fun for me which is why I stopped doing it. It was just work without anything to show for it. Spending hours swiping, chatting, getting ghosted or cancelled on. None of that was fun. I'm done with that.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Online dating was not fun for me which is why I stopped doing it. It was just work without anything to show for it. Spending hours swiping, chatting, getting ghosted or cancelled on. None of that was fun. I'm done with that.

 

Yes, you've said that multiple times. My post to you had nothing to do with online dating.

 

Besides your education and your money, what do you bring to the table for a woman? And don't say "obviously nothing!" or "nothing they want, obviously!" Just answer the question.....why do you think women should want you?

[Redguitar35]

Yes, you've said that multiple times. My post to you had nothing to do with online dating.

 

Besides your education and your money, what do you bring to the table for a woman? And don't say "obviously nothing!" or "nothing they want, obviously!" Just answer the question.....why do you think women should want you?

 

I don't know how to answer that question. What should I bring to the table that women are looking for?

[basil67]

I find small talk boring. I actually find most people boring.

.

 

As do most of us, but nevertheless, it's a requirement when getting to know someone. How do you know what to properly talk about if you haven't discovered the topics during small talk? It's the foreplay of good conversation.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I don't know how to answer that question. What should I bring to the table that women are looking for?

 

Glad you asked. Someone started a thread about that just a few hours ago: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/690620-what-do-women-find-attractive

[Redguitar35]

Glad you asked. Someone started a thread about that just a few hours ago: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/690620-what-do-women-find-attractive

 

My takeaway from that thread is that different women are looking for different things.

[Redguitar35]

As do most of us, but nevertheless, it's a requirement when getting to know someone. How do you know what to properly talk about if you haven't discovered the topics during small talk? It's the foreplay of good conversation.

 

This last date, the girl mostly talked about herself (which I wanted to hear about and was asking questions about) and politics (which I didn't want to hear about).

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

My takeaway from that thread is that different women are looking for different things.

 

That is reality. Do you want there to be a simple one-word answer for every single woman on earth? It's not that easy. Between you only using online dating (until recently when you're doing nothing) and saying you dont' have time for a social life because of having a full-time job, you sound pretty lazy about having to put any effort into it at all. Do you really think that makes a good partner?

[basil67]

This last date, the girl mostly talked about herself (which I wanted to hear about and was asking questions about) and politics (which I didn't want to hear about).

 

Did you attempt to create commonality by introducing shared experiences to her replies to your questions? With asking questions, there's always a risk of turning it into an interview rather than a conversation.