What do women find attractive

[mark clemson]

I have to fall on the side of being attractive matters. It may not get you all the way if you have a difficult personality or are otherwise not a good match for someone. But if you have at least a decent personality and other things going for you, any specific failure doesn't matter. Good looks will normally get your foot in the door for a LOT more women, so a lot more opportunities to match up well with someone else.

[mark clemson]

I do think that attraction is more complicated for women, and so there are more/other things that can matter just as much to them (and could easily matter MORE, depending on the woman and her genetics, attitudes, goals, etc).

[carhill]

I noticed, after much early failure, that the good lookers and smooth talkers (important!) had more ladies hovering than the average joes so simple math was at work. As mentioned, more opportunities equal more potential successes. Of course some is genetics but men can always work on social skills. Some also relates to the old adage of if desiring to know what catches fish, ask/watch the fisherman with a full stringer, not the fish. I spent way too much time when young paying attention to the fish and not enough to the fisherman with full stringers. Once straightening that out, success improved. Unwinding years of gentleman programming from my parents also helped. Not to the point of treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen, though I did see a lot of that work, but rather less deference and acts of kindness to strangers. More neutral. I watch the successfully married men today and how they give just enough to keep their wives in the game, not too much, not too deferential, just enough to keep the tension alive. The wives btch and moan but they want it. It's the want that keeps them there. Power and money helps too. Lifestyle. Head held high. Yup, we've made it. That's attractive.

[SumGuy]

attractive women like money

correction, materialistic women like money, even if they are unattractive.

It is just that attractive materialistic women figure they can use their looks to get it

[SumGuy]

But this is about first approaches. If a woman wants money, how does she know his worth off the bat?

His actual worth? She doesn't.

But if you want to flaunt your money there aplenty of things you can wear to show it. Clothes, watches, shoes, etc. There is a certain level and type of grooming as well, even mannerisms.

Certainly all this can be faked and you never know where the money, if there is any, comes from.

[SumGuy]

What tricks are used when first meeting a man?

Besides just asking, looking at his clothes, shoes, watch, jewelry, nails, hair, and mannerisms (like how he holds his wine glass) and his accent.

Of course I have a feeling the gold-diggers that are really that sophisticated don't just go on looks but look people up on-line, see what they drove, etc.

[SumGuy]

And wealthy men are foolish enough to give a true answer?

No unless they are looking for a gold-digger. Gold-diggers are dangerous for one night stands, but some wealthy men can be foolish.

 

 

There are also different types of wealthy men, there ones who earned it, those who not just earned it but are founders/makers, then the bros who inherited it even if they have a job. Others I am sure.

[SumGuy]

I just thought of something.

 

I do like to make a women feel good. My top qualities are that I am loving, caring, reliable, an empathetic listener, and I do my best to share her joy and be comforting when something is wrong. I am also a hopeless romantic.

 

Even having this in OLD profiles I still get passed over, and it's a bit much to make this the first thing I express in person, obviously.

 

Could it be that something that I am not doing that I should be doing is causing that side of me to be hidden?

 

Just saying you are loving, caring, reliable, an empathetic listener doesn't make you so.

 

Also you need to realize these are all baseline qualities for most humans. After all do you want someone who is unloving, uncaring, unreliable and doesn't listen? Of course not.

 

Assuming of course you pass their minimum criteria for looks (we all have them, some are just more stringent than others)

My belief is they are going to hope you are all that, but look for signs you are not or even worse have the nice guy syndrome (as in you all nice until they tell you they are not interested in you).

Then they would look at if you have enough in common in not just activities but world view as well, such that there is chance for connection and spark.

It's all inexact. Some are going to make you pay for the sins of others (men do this too), can't avoid that.

 

The only thing I have found that is fairly consistent across all women, even those I have no interest in, is if you can make them laugh. Not in the clown way, or tell a joke way, but genuine wit.

[mr_ybor]

It’s better! Most does not mean all. I can verify if you are a 50 year old man in good shape you easily attract 50 year old women in great shape.

 

If there are any left!

[basil67]

Besides just asking, looking at his clothes, shoes, watch, jewelry, nails, hair, and mannerisms (like how he holds his wine glass) and his accent.

Of course I have a feeling the gold-diggers that are really that sophisticated don't just go on looks but look people up on-line, see what they drove, etc.

 

Thing is, I know some really wealthy people who don't dress/act wealthy. And I know some who dress/act like they have serious money who are up to their ears in debt.

 

The whole notion of being able to pick who's wealthy discounts that people are chameleons.

[Foxhall]

sense of humour says my girl,

 

I guess that does not answer the initial across the room question however

[SumGuy]

If there are any left!

Sure there must be. I'm taken at the moment, but just looking at the daily e-mail match pushes to me 4 of 17 I consider my cup of tee hot (ages 52, 55, 56, 37), another 5 a lot of guys would consider attractive (ages 45, 49, 50, 54, 55) (so 9 of 17 total) and of the 7 mutual matches 1 (age 52) I considered hot.

 

So yes, by looks alone (and this is just one day) they are out there where I live (east coast). I get this match e-mail even when my profile is off, I have still not figured out how to turn it off.

 

When last in ybor (April) I saw many attractive women out and about, will admit of all the attractive ones near my age they were with someone, except for two that were together. Yet again, wasn't looking for women but good beer and that was just one night at one place.

[SumGuy]

Thing is, I know some really wealthy people who don't dress/act wealthy. And I know some who dress/act like they have serious money who are up to their ears in debt.

 

The whole notion of being able to pick who's wealthy discounts that people are chameleons.

 

 

Oh I agree. Just because you look wealthy, doesn't mean you are.

Yet it never ceases to amaze me how powerful appearances can be.

[Eugeleh]

Thing is, I know some really wealthy people who don't dress/act wealthy. And I know some who dress/act like they have serious money who are up to their ears in debt.

 

The whole notion of being able to pick who's wealthy discounts that people are chameleons.

 

Keep in mind that in many social situations IRL people are among at least some others from their own social circle. In these cases the backgrounds of many of those in attendance are not a mystery even if not everyone has met formally.

[basil67]

That's true Eugeleh. Though I imagine a friend who outed a mate as having money wouldn't remain a friend for long.....

[Mysterio]

I don't think that women want a man thats the life of the party. Like a David Lee Roth from Van Halen? No way. From what I have seen of my women friends and my friend's wives. They want their men Chill and layed back. No way do those women want to party all the time and they certainly don't want their men to be laughing it up with the other ladies at the social event.

 

I know my buddy MK's wife is happy that he does not have any female friends.

[pepperbird]

I've been married a long time now, and can't see myself every being back int he dating pool. If I was, it's really hard to say what I would find attractive. Sometimes, there is little logic when it comes to attraction between two people.

Edited September 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
off topic

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm most interested in the men who come up and talk to me, initiate a good conversation. As long as his appearance is tidy and clean, I'm good with that.

[somanymistakes]

Basically, describe the guy who you want to be approached by the most. Who might you approach yourself

 

I don't want to approach anyone or be approached by anyone at a generic singles event! Because anyone who'd go to one of those is automatically not what I'm looking for.

 

I like a guy who's a bit shy. The entire singles scene is pretty much ruled out.

 

Now, if we're moving the situation to a party among my own social circles, where I might vaguely know something about the guy already and have evidence that he and I had some shared interests, then things are different.

 

When I was younger my ideal was "pale guy with dark hair, blue eyes, wire-rim glasses, and wearing black". Major immediate bonus if he's got a good singing voice. Black leather jacket and motorcycle were also bonus points, though I prefer brooding loners over jerks. (And again, not going to find a lot of brooding loners at a singles event, am I?)

 

Now that I'm older I'm less interested in ticking appearance boxes and more interested in judging people as individuals. Are they nice? Are they smart? Are they fun to talk to? Do we have enough things in common? Do they make me feel relaxed and happy, or nervous?

[mr_ybor]

It’s better! Most does not mean all. I can verify if you are a 50 year old man in good shape you easily attract 50 year old women in great shape.

 

Sure there must be. I'm taken at the moment, but just looking at the daily e-mail match pushes to me 4 of 17 I consider my cup of tee hot (ages 52, 55, 56, 37)

 

Well, that's not me or my target market in the least. Good to know you're finding someone up there, I suppose. Hope you already had kids and all that already!

 

 

 

I don't want to approach anyone or be approached by anyone at a generic singles event! Because anyone who'd go to one of those is automatically not what I'm looking for.

 

I like a guy who's a bit shy. The entire singles scene is pretty much ruled out.

 

What IF the guy is super shy, and he's doing it because everyone tells him to "get out of his shell and meet people"? I'm sure guys like that go to those things. You could be missing them utterly and making sure your username continues to check out.

Edited September 26, 2019 by mr_ybor

[SumGuy]

Well, that's not me or my target market in the least. Good to know you're finding someone up there, I suppose. Hope you already had kids and all that already!

....

Things do seem to be easier dating wise in my 50s though hard to compare as in my 20s there was no internet (an Ethernet though, I've fond and horrible memories of the VAX) and in my 30s no smart phones or dating apps. I hear it's also good for guys in their 40s...IF you are past the wanting to get married and have kids thing.

 

Yes I have 3 kids, no need for more, was married, and all that (not all of that you want believe me). Every woman I've dated after my divorce has kids which is a plus for me as they get how that impacts ones life, though I've been lucky and for most of them the kids were out of the house.

 

If you want kids and marriage, that is not out of the question with divorced women even with kids. I assume there are those who are open to more kids if in their 30s, met one once. As you don't have kids, you may have to work at putting yourself in their shoes. Having a dog can help you begin to understand, better yet a couple of milk goats.

 

I presume they are going to want someone like major stable, who is succeeding in implementing their life plan (whatever it may be), emotionally strong, and a wild side aspect front and center is not going to be a positive.

 

It's not that women (even with kids) don't want a fun guy who thinks for himself and eskews social conformity, it is just too many of those guys are not in any way shape or form ready for the responsibilities of marriage and kids, no matter what they say; especially if they say "someday".

 

In my opinion the same goes for women in their 30s who don't have kids but want them. They need to know your ready and able, willing is not enough.

[Gretchen12]

Since when does height depends on diet? And what genes and diseases can be smelled?

 

Since always. Height has always depended on diet. The genes and diseases are not consciously identified by the woman of course. These have all been studied.

[thefooloftheyear]

As a guy, I don't fully know what women like or find attractive....For guys its a little more clear cut....A woman with a really good body can be pretty ugly, but still get a TON of male attention....Its not the same for guys....

 

And I don't claim to be any expert, just know what I have been told and just making observations on the street, it seems like a lot of guys make critical mistakes that hold them back or just don't have any clue, really...

 

I mean, why, as a guy, would you wear a tight fitting button up dress shirt when you have a horrible physique?? And with the craze of beards...That I don't understand, as VERY FEW guys look good with a beard....Most look terrible...The other thing I don't get is guys try so hard not go bald, so they make whatever they have left try to look good....and it comes across as so lame....Most women will give a guy a pass for a bald head...Depending on facial structure and head shape, some will even prefer bald over hair..Just deal with it and stop with the coverup...

 

There are other things too numerous to mention, but these are things that really make you wonder...

 

TFY

[Gretchen12]

And with the craze of beards...That I don't understand, as VERY FEW guys look good with a beard....Most look terrible...The other thing I don't get is guys try so hard not go bald, so they make whatever they have left try to look good....and it comes across as so lame....Most women will give a guy a pass for a bald head...Depending on facial structure and head shape, some will even prefer bald over hair..Just deal with it and stop with the coverup...

 

Those men must be growing beards to impress other men. They've done surveys that all show women prefer no beards. As for baldness, it's made worse if the guy is bald but has a full beard. I also don't like it when the guy shaves the whole head to hide male pattern baldness. It's like he wants to say he's only bald by choice.

[alphamale]

Since always. Height has always depended on diet. The genes and diseases are not consciously identified by the woman of course. These have all been studied.

 

indeed Gretchen...I saw a story on the news a few years ago about Japanese children growing taller than average because they are eating western-style fast food and shunning the traditional food of their parents...