What do women find attractive

[SumGuy]

What is the right approach? What types of things should I be telling these women? How do I find out what we have in common?

 

Are there not profiles of attendees? No idea how these things work, very much not my cup of tea, but curious. My prejudice with these things is your not going to find out much about what you have in common, rather just if you click/connect chemistry wise.

Do you find each other attractive, funny, interesting enough to go out and learn more.

You need to be very good at work the room conversational skills and have a quick wit. Typical work the room skills involve introducing yourself, and with a stranger a question or comment observation about the environment (music, location, drinks, food, offer to fill a drink, sunset, almost anything) or event itself , hopefully humorous, then a quick wit to follow up if they respond.

 

If nothing else you can introduce yourself and say you don’t really know what one is supposed to do at these events but decided to give it a try. If she is interested she’ll respond with something. Then you need to be able to connect or empathize with what she said. Keep it open, don’t mansplain, solve a problem, or with a comment that doesn’t allow much of a response.

If what I say is foreign to you then you may need many practice conversations as this is something your not necessarily going to be able to “analyze” and work out it the moment.

From my understanding speed dating has got to be the single hardest way to meet someone, and for me the most artificial.

Edited October 6, 2019 by SumGuy

[mr_ybor]

Speed dating sounds like a recipe for turning romance into the job interview process. Never tried it. I can't imagine any cool chicks doing it, either... just box-tickers and desperate women. I could be wrong though.

[Logo]

Wayne0789456,

 

 

 

With speed dating, you want to balance asking questions that show you're interested with casual banter. You don't want to seem like a clown who has set out to be the entertainer for the evening, but at the same time, you don't want it to turn into a job interview.

 

The same holds true for dates and OLD banter. If she's not cooperating, there's not much you can do. Take out your phone and use the time wisely by swiping on a few good profiles on OLD as you're seated across the table from her

 

You will have to get a feel for the person by saying a few casual things about yourself, something fun, something relatable, and take it from there. Keep the conversation light, but also have swagger, confidence.

 

And women love "cute". If you can be cute, come off as cute or act cute, they will lap it up. Be animated, comfortable. Think "I got this. I own this place".

[Logo]

Speed dating sounds like a recipe for turning romance into the job interview process. Never tried it. I can't imagine any cool chicks doing it, either... just box-tickers and desperate women. I could be wrong though.

 

 

The selection usually leaves much to be desired and it's time consuming and a money pit.

 

Besides, how memorable can one be when he's got a couple of minutes to pitch himself?

 

Many women also participate for the entertainment value, so they can say they've tried it and check it off the list of things they often see in Rom-Coms. It's not a very efficient way of finding romance.

[Logo]

Although every woman there is set up to meet you, not every one of them is going to be interested enough to get to know you. You should probably be able to tell the lost causes. You just want to not turn off the ones that start out interested.

 

 

What happens if he's not interested. Is it a sellers market or a buyers market?

[Logo]

What do women find attractive?

 

 

 

To answer the OP, it depends on the time of day, the humidity, the temperature, if she's in a good mood, if you look innocent enough to be perceived as harmless or bad boy enough to be intriguing because she wants to 'figure you out' or needs some excitement in her boring life.

[SumGuy]

What happens if he's not interested. Is it a sellers market or a buyers market?

I don't know but when Match pushes these events to me it's like women outnumber men 3 to 1; and it's free for the men often times or close enough with a drink included.

[mark clemson]

OP, when you go to these things, you might try this approach once or twice to see what happens:

 

- Make yourself as visually appealing as possible

- Try to act as confident and "casual" as possible

- Smile a lot and be friendly

- Don't ask too many specific questions, instead a few general ones but listen intently to whatever answers you get; let them talk about themselves; give a bit of positive feedback

- Give only vague, but quite positive, generalities when asked about yourself: "I have a fantastic job in (field)", "I love all kinds of activities, what are some things you like" etc

 

See if that changes your results somewhat.

[major_merrick]

... and the answer is - other women! At least in my experience, even girls who swear up down and sideways that they are straight as an arrow are capable of ending up in an attractive woman's bed. I've taken enough first-timers home to know that's the truth.

[mr_ybor]

I don't know but when Match pushes these events to me it's like women outnumber men 3 to 1; and it's free for the men often times or close enough with a drink included.

 

 

What? Are we talking geezers here or the younger crowd?

[SumGuy]

What? Are we talking geezers here or the younger crowd?

 

They don’t say. But just from anecdotal info 30-40 year olds, so youngin’s who think they have it all figured out

[Trail Blazer]

attractive women like money

All women like money. In fact, all people like money, to varying degrees. Money equals secuirity. It's just, attractive women have their pick, so it stands to reason that they may be more inclined to attract men of higher social stature, whom not unsurprisingly, almost always have money.

 

There are plenty of exceptions, though. My ex-girlfriend is gorgeous, and when she got with me 18 months ago I was only a few months out of a separation and had little money, and an albeit full-time job, but it wasn't paying fantastically well at all. I started my new job six months ago, just before we broke up. She knew I was going to earn big dollars, but our incompatibilities weren't going to be compensated by my money, in her view.

 

We met on Match and she told me she thought I was handsome and loved my brown eyes. Okay, so that's obviously the first thing people notice on OLD. She also said "I just had a good feeling about you" which is why she continued to converse with me.

 

We didn't work because she's a bit of a homebody and I'm someone who sleeps little, is always wanting to do stuff and, by her own admission, "couldn't keep up" with me. She told me that she ran on adrenalin for the first six months, while we were extremely active sexually, out doing stuff, vacationing with full days of doing anything but sitting around. It was attractive to her, but she got burnt out.

 

I know that money and looks aside, women are attracted to confidence but not arrogance. Someone who's in control without being controlling. Someone who understands the right time to listen and the right time to act. A man who has his own goals in life that don't revolve around his significant other, but that don't preclude or exclude her from being his life partner, either.

 

All that is listed above are the intangibles. But make no mistake, looks are very important. A guy has to know how to make a woman feel good, but if she doesn't feel good initially by what she's looking at, he has no hope. Just as a man cannot invest himself fully into a woman he doesn't find physically attractive, there is no way a woman will allow a man she isn't attacted to physically to be intimate with her.

Edited October 15, 2019 by Trail Blazer

[confusedinadaze]

I really respond to chill guys/dudes with a laid back personality- ones that don’t take themselves too seriously, go with the flow kind of a man. But are thriving in whatever their passion is in life- a job or something else. That’s really sexy to me.

[Kitty Tantrum]

I hate money... I guess that makes me ugly.

[mark clemson]

All that is listed above are the intangibles. But make no mistake, looks are very important. A guy has to know how to make a woman feel good, but if she doesn't feel good initially by what she's looking at, he has no hope. Just as a man cannot invest himself fully into a woman he doesn't find physically attractive, there is no way a woman will allow a man she isn't attracted to physically to be intimate with her.

 

 

Not sure initial attraction is actually key. Can't both women and men become accustomed to a person and "start" to find them attractive after some time (e.g. in the workplace)? Thought this is fairly common.

 

Of course if the man or woman is very unattractive (either physically or in personality) that would be a barrier.

[Trail Blazer]

Not sure initial attraction is actually key. Can't both women and men become accustomed to a person and "start" to find them attractive after some time (e.g. in the workplace)? Thought this is fairly common.

 

Of course if the man or woman is very unattractive (either physically or in personality) that would be a barrier.

I'm perhaps looking at it from the angle of online dating or meeting in a bar, something like that. I don't work in an industry where there's many women. I'm not used to the concept of someone developing attraction rather than initially seeing it.

 

All I know is from the feedback I get from girls I meet online. All of them have said that they found me attractive (which I'm only stating as it's pertinent to my point) with a common theme being that they got a "good vibe" about me.

[mr_ybor]

They don’t say. But just from anecdotal info 30-40 year olds, so youngin’s who think they have it all figured out

 

What?

[SumGuy]

Yah Mr_Y, it seems like your core demographic, but my info is from the event pictures and the very few people who I know who have gone to them. So the crowd is too young for me, although some of the events look fun.

[mr_ybor]

Yah Mr_Y, it seems like your core demographic, but my info is from the event pictures and the very few people who I know who have gone to them. So the crowd is too young for me, although some of the events look fun.

 

From the profiles I've seen on Match, I can almost guarantee it's not my crowd.

[somanymistakes]

Not sure initial attraction is actually key. Can't both women and men become accustomed to a person and "start" to find them attractive after some time (e.g. in the workplace)? Thought this is fairly common.

 

It is pretty common. However, first impressions matter more to some people than to others.

 

Some people (male or female) size up everyone they meet as potential partners very quickly, and if they don't decide before they get to know you that you're appealing, they will never be interested.

 

Some people are absolutely incapable of judging attractiveness until they know someone well. It's like a different sex drive thing. Their date radar doesn't even come on until they have a sense of you as a person. Only then can they go "Yes, I think I could be attracted to this one."

 

(And I guess some people just don't have any sexual interest at all, ever, but that's another story entirely.)

 

People will lie in different places on that spectrum. For some the initial spark is important but it can be overcome by a building connection. For some, they DO make that initial judgement of hot-or-not but it's not very important really compared to the later connection. And so on.

 

As usual there's no answer that will apply in all circumstances.

[mark clemson]

Agree, SMM, there's a lot of variation out there.