I am so confused about the state of my marriage

[Big Aus]

Firstly, even if its true that a bank can stop you travelling with a civil suit, have you any evidence that such a suit was filed? Simply having a bank loan proves nothing.

 

As I said, you are being manipulated and scammed. Just because her need for the money is real, doesn't mean she isn't taking you for a ride.

You married her, but she wouldn't even sleep with you as her husband? Now she wants you to send more money?

 

She is just bleeding you dry.

I imagine she already has another boyfriend (or GF) that she IS sleeping with.

 

STOP sending money

Get the marriage annulled.

Move on and look for somebody who isn't a blood-sucking harpie.

[S2B]

Did you tell her you’re not sending any more money?

[RecentChange]

This is not how a long, healthy HAPPY marriage starts.

 

Can you honestly envision a future with her, where you two are happy and at peace with each other - your extended families joining together in harmony?

 

What is it that you love about her? The way she treats you? The way she makes you feel about yourself? The way she makes you feel desired?

 

I am going to join in with the others, and say it sounds like you are being scammed. It is of no surprise that you haven't had a relationship before - because you failed to recognize the disaster you have on your hands.

 

Ever hear of the saying "don't throw good money after bad"?

 

It means just because you have invested in something (emotionally, money, etc) doesn't mean if makes sense to keep doing it.

 

You made a mistake by marrying her. You must recognize it was a bad decision and now stop the bleeding. "redo" weddings etc won't fix anything, it will just be more investment into a failed marriage, making it even harder and more costly to get out.

 

You need to start asking yourself why you "love" someone who treats you and your family so poorly. She says hurtful and disrespectful things to you. She treats you poorly, she withholds physical affection.

 

THIS IS NOT WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE

 

This is what dysfunction looks like. This is what codependency looks like. This is what an unhealthy relationship looks like.

 

You need to get out of this before your life and future are completely ruined by this woman and her family.

 

Good luck to you, I hope you gain some clarity

[MJJean]

Her debts are hers. She is responsible for creating the debt and now she has to pay the debt.

 

Also, you don't need a divorce. You need an Annulment. You haven't consummated the marriage or lived to together. Technically, the marriage isn't even valid because of non-consummation. Annulment means, legally, the marriage never existed. Since you qualify for Annulment, contact legal services in your country and file the papers. This isn't a marriage. It's a scam and a sham.

[pyruvate]

This is not how a long, healthy HAPPY marriage starts.

 

Can you honestly envision a future with her, where you two are happy and at peace with each other - your extended families joining together in harmony?

 

What is it that you love about her? The way she treats you? The way she makes you feel about yourself? The way she makes you feel desired?

 

I am going to join in with the others, and say it sounds like you are being scammed. It is of no surprise that you haven't had a relationship before - because you failed to recognize the disaster you have on your hands.

 

Ever hear of the saying "don't throw good money after bad"?

 

It means just because you have invested in something (emotionally, money, etc) doesn't mean if makes sense to keep doing it.

 

You made a mistake by marrying her. You must recognize it was a bad decision and now stop the bleeding. "redo" weddings etc won't fix anything, it will just be more investment into a failed marriage, making it even harder and more costly to get out.

 

You need to start asking yourself why you "love" someone who treats you and your family so poorly. She says hurtful and disrespectful things to you. She treats you poorly, she withholds physical affection.

 

THIS IS NOT WHAT LOVE LOOKS LIKE

 

This is what dysfunction looks like. This is what codependency looks like. This is what an unhealthy relationship looks like.

 

You need to get out of this before your life and future are completely ruined by this woman and her family.

 

Good luck to you, I hope you gain some clarity

 

 

 

 

Thank you to you and everyone else who answered here. Again, I do really sense there is something wrong with the marriage and you are all quite correct in that I haven't been in a relationship before so I don't know what normal is.

 

 

 

In the Middle East, there is a custom of giving dowry (which the guy gives) and when the time came for that, she said I could give her whatever I was comfortable with. I figured after this that she isn't interested in exploiting me because wouldn't she have asked for an exorbitant sum of money ? This is one thing that keeps making me think she isn't exploiting me.

 

 

 

On the issue of her debts, I completely agree that they are hers to pay and I won't pay them. Still, I really don't see how things can keep going like this. Almost each time we talk, I have to hear hurtful things about my parents every time. That is the thing that bothers me. I want to be there for my parents because they are both in poor health and honestly I don't know how long they will be around. But I just fear being eventually convinced to doubt them or even dislike them by a constant barrage of hate against them.

[S2B]

So she’s is also COMPLETELY disrespectful to your parents...

 

I’d say this marriage ought to end - unless you want to be miserable.