Author Emin Posted September 25, 2019 Author Share Posted September 25, 2019 I can't speak for Elaine, but I can tell you what most would do. Women are optimizers. Their mating market equity is everything, and If they start feeling that they could do better –– zoom, done in a flash! If they're feeling that way but lacking in confidence, monkey branching. How many times have you heard women chant, "never settle." The hypergamist's pledge of allegiance. If this were a woman posting about having options with attractive, successful men, and the current boyfriend letting himself go, not having ambition, not making enough money or any number of shortcomings... the advice would be, you gotta do what's best for you and allow him find someone who will be delighted to be with him. They'd frame it as doing the right thing, doing him a favor. Men, on the other hand, are expected to be loyal, dedicated, tolerant. Only outright betrayal, or egregious relationship transgressions, are viewed as justification for putting yourself first. Your circumstances are somewhat different though, in that it's a HS sweetheart scenario, you're both still very young, haven't made the commitment, and you haven't sewed any oats. No one can tell you; you have to do the soul searching to find your own answers. Thank you for your wonderful answer, I am starting to get the idea and the path I have to walk. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 What it comes down to is, what do you really want? Do you want help with your GF?, or a justifiable excuse to dump her? Hey if you want out you want out. Whatever choice you make, make it for yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Are you serious? You want to give up on your loyal GF for some characterless girls? If you are not happy with her and want to end the relationship then that is okay but do it for the right reasons. Not because you have this illusion that your market value has gone up in last one year. That's just dumb. I feel bad for your GF because she has no idea that the person she adores has such low values. From where I stand, your market value is really low because you are tempted to cheat. Which is one of the worst things anyone can do in a relationship. Go and get a reality check. I think your GF deserves better. And you need to grow up and please improve your values and character. Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 I can't speak for Elaine, but I can tell you what most would do. Women are optimizers. Their mating market equity is everything, and If they start feeling that they could do better –– zoom, done in a flash! If they're feeling that way but lacking in confidence, monkey branching. How many times have you heard women chant, "never settle." The hypergamist's pledge of allegiance. If this were a woman posting about having options with attractive, successful men, and the current boyfriend letting himself go, not having ambition, not making enough money or any number of shortcomings... the advice would be, you gotta do what's best for you and allow him find someone who will be delighted to be with him. They'd frame it as doing the right thing, doing him a favor. Men, on the other hand, are expected to be loyal, dedicated, tolerant. Only outright betrayal, or egregious relationship transgressions, are viewed as justification for putting yourself first. Your circumstances are somewhat different though, in that it's a HS sweetheart scenario, you're both still very young, haven't made the commitment, and you haven't sewed any oats. No one can tell you; you have to do the soul searching to find your own answers. And yet somehow... the number of women suffering from domestic violence is skyrocketing... where are all this loyal, dedicated and tolerant men? :lmao: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Just me, but I don't think men should even get into a LTR until they are 30. You haven't hit your peak yet, and this is the problem you have when your testosterone is off the charts. Men are success object, women are beauty objects. You have hit success a bit earlier than most, but you'll be even higher in 5 years. And you want to lock yourself down already? Why? Anyway, that's kind of off topic. If you are talking sexual with another woman, you're already cheating in your mind. You need to either cut it off with your GF, or cut off these women. Because it's just not cool to cheat, especially a girl you plan on marrying? For God's sake man... Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 What it comes down to is, what do you really want? Do you want help with your GF?, or a justifiable excuse to dump her? Hey if you want out you want out. Whatever choice you make, make it for yourself. Yes, this is what it boils down to. You have to decide and live with it. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Trying to split the difference it will result in a huge mess, and guilt will eat you up. Either double down on your loyalty to your girl, understanding what you're giving up, or let her go compassionately and keep it congruent. Your dilemma is legitimate, but trying to have it both ways is not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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