Friend is mad I didn't say bye.

[acapelo_dp]

My friends birthday was yesterday so we had a bit of a combined birthday since our dates are close. We went to dinner (total of 16 people, mostly she invited cause it was mostly her party). After dinner we went to this games bar and I stayed for about an hour and a half. Everyone kind of spread out since there were so many people.

One couple left and then my other friend wanted to get going as it's not really her scene to be out super late. It's not really mine either. So we tried to find our birthday friend to say goodbye but the bar was so busy we couldn't so we left.

My birthday friend is mad at me because we didn't at least text them to ask where they were to say good bye.

In my mind, she was with a group of people including her boyfriend so it would be different if she was alone.

I really don't see the big deal as I'm an adult and can choose to leave and just text to say I left, as others were heading out too.

 

I find it a bit petty. Am I being too harsh or am I in the wrong?

[basil67]

You're both wrong. You should have sent a "tried to find you but couldn't, heading home now, thanks for a great night" text. I can understand that she'd be a bit miffed at a lack of goodbye, but being mad is a bit of an over reaction.

[d0nnivain]

Of course you could leave whenever but you should have said good bye. Texting is no substitute for manners.

[schlumpy]

Yeah, petty she is but I wonder why.

 

If she had made an effort to keep everyone together then she might have a claim but since she allowed everyone to wander off then I don't see her objection. She was the hostess. It was her responsibility.

[anika99]

I mean is she really mad? Or did she just mention that you could have found her by sending a text and you are taking that to mean she is angry?

 

Since you couldn't find her, texting her would have been a good idea but it doesn't sound like you thought of it. No biggie. Just apologize and move on. If she is truly mad and wants to stay mad that would be her problem. But if she's not really mad and you're just over reacting to a mild comment she made, that would your problem

[Foxhall]

I imagine it should not cause any long term difficulties,

 

I agree it sounds a bit petty from her, however I also admire that she was not afraid to air her feelings and say straight out that it upset her,

 

many people would say nothing and bottle their annoyance up which can be problematic too in the long term,

 

I always like the idea of getting everything out in the open and both sides being able to discuss and move on with no hard feelings.

[acapelo_dp]

I imagine it should not cause any long term difficulties,

 

I agree it sounds a bit petty from her, however I also admire that she was not afraid to air her feelings and say straight out that it upset her,

 

many people would say nothing and bottle their annoyance up which can be problematic too in the long term,

 

I always like the idea of getting everything out in the open and both sides being able to discuss and move on with no hard feelings.

 

Yeah I can appreciate that she expressed it and honestly I didn't think it was something of lack of manners since I was planning on texting and I can see her often. I can see her point of view but at the time I was drinking and wasn't thinking. I did apologise and she hasn't texted me back and that's why I believe she is mad because typically she would.

[acapelo_dp]

I mean is she really mad? Or did she just mention that you could have found her by sending a text and you are taking that to mean she is angry?

 

Since you couldn't find her, texting her would have been a good idea but it doesn't sound like you thought of it. No biggie. Just apologize and move on. If she is truly mad and wants to stay mad that would be her problem. But if she's not really mad and you're just over reacting to a mild comment she made, that would your problem

 

Of course I was going to text her that I had left. She had beat me to it to ask if I had left.

 

It makes me think she is mad because she hasn't texted me back. So I don't believe I'm over reacting.

[The Outlaw]

Don't worry too much about it but next time you could shoot her a text or give her a quick call should there ever be a repeat. 'Hey, I had a really great time but I couldn't find you, but just wanted to say it's been fun and I'll catch up with you later. Have a great time and be safe' and just leave it at that. Short, sweet and to the point. A call, however brief it maybe, would be best.