CarbonCopy Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I started talking to his guy I met on Bumble in the beginning of the month and we went out on the 1st date less than 2 weeks ago. We went out that Thursday and immediately he asked me to hang out the next day. We did, and also hung out that Saturday. This past week I saw him on Thursday, Friday, Saturday (slept over for the first time) and all of today (just got home a few hours ago). All of these outings have been real dates - dinner, a fun activity, a couple of drinks, lots of talking, etc. I truly enjoy his company and we get along together so well. I feel extremely comfortable around him and vice versa. He's very sweet and affectionate and he's already planned our next outing for next weekend, and subsequently Halloween /fall activities. I literally haven't been this excited for someone in years. But I'm scared. Is this going too fast? I'm 33 and he's 35 and we both know what we want. I'm in no need to 'define' anything but we're spending so much time together (next week will be the 3rd consecutive weekend we've spent together) that I would be so upset to learn he's dating others. Is it too soon to ask this or should I just keep enjoying his company and where it's going? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Hell no , ask him anything you want, nothing asked nothing known, if he's feeling it too then he shouldn't mind. l'd ask someone when l met her l'd never be interested in someone seeing other people forget it. The other stuff , l think you should talk to him about everything and things you've said here.Maybe take a wkend out too , catch ya breath. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I would personally need a lot more downtime between dates to process and collect myself, especially with someone I have just met and thus barely know. People who come on strong very quickly tend to raise my hackles a bit. However, we all have different parameters and comfort levels. If you're okay with it, proceed, but I would advise to keep both feet on the ground and not get too caught up in the sparks without properly knowing him. Even in our thirties and beyond, we need to know what we're signing up for and only time can reveal the many layers that we're all comprised of. So, I would try to pace yourself while still having fun at whatever comfort level suits you. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Sounds like how my husband and I started: It just felt right, so we rolled with it. I wouldn't hesitate to ask him if he's seeing other people. Not only to help manage your expectations but also in terms of your own sexual health. If asking him scares him off, then you've just dodged a bullet. My only caveat for moving quickly is to keep reminding yourself that it's early days and you're not seeing him clearly yet. Enjoy all of it, but do keep that reminder in the back of your mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Twizzlestick Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 I would personally need a lot more downtime between dates to process and collect myself, especially with someone I have just met and thus barely know. People who come on strong very quickly tend to raise my hackles a bit. However, we all have different parameters and comfort levels. If you're okay with it, proceed, but I would advise to keep both feet on the ground and not get too caught up in the sparks without properly knowing him. Even in our thirties and beyond, we need to know what we're signing up for and only time can reveal the many layers that we're all comprised of. So, I would try to pace yourself while still having fun at whatever comfort level suits you. I’ve just posted a thread and what you said drives to the core of my thinking. I’d be panicking if I was going this fast. I got in a fast burn rele years ago and it burnt bright, but very short. Horrid ending. I’m never doing that again. My best rele was a slow starter. I think that works for me. Granted, every situation different I suppose, every person etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarbonCopy Posted September 23, 2019 Author Share Posted September 23, 2019 Thanks, everyone. I actually did bring up if we're moving too fast to him and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. I don't have a problem with it either actually - I Iove spending time with him and getting to know him better and better each time. I realize it's still early so I have to keep my eyes open, and trust me, they definitely are. This weekend will be good because I have plans with my best friend on Saturday, so I can't spend the entire weekend with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Everyone is different. Some prefer some downtime between dates, others just click and want to spend as much time together as they can. OP, if it feels right and it's want you both want then just enjoy it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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