robbysurfs Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 (edited) I was dating a woman for about 2 years on and off. When we finally broke up she broke up with me. I reluctantly accepted and continued on with my life. We have been broken up about 8 months with minimal contact. I saw her in the beginning of the summer and she said "last time we saw each other I was hopeful we would get back together this time I dont think so." She expressed how she wanted to be friends which I declined. Heres where it starts getting annoying. She is constantly looking at my social media all the time. I told her after the last time we saw each other I need space and wished her well. But, the constant looking at my stories on instagram after I unfriended her and she persistently kept looking it made me believe that maybe there was still something there and heres what happened. We spoke recently via txt. ME: I basically said I missed her and asked her out to dinner. Her response was: I miss you too, that would be great. Are you comfortable with that? I have to ask because I know you wanted space. Me:Yes I am comfortable with that are you comfortable with me asking you out on a date? Her: Like a proper date? Me: Yes, like a real romantic date. Her: I am not comfortable with that right now... there are to many questions going off in my head. Her: You wanted space? Me: I was disappointed last time we saw each other and I needed to reset. Her: I want you to know that i'm always here for you and will always care about you. But I'm not okay with opening up a romantic door. What I am comfortable with is if we spend time together as friends. My hope is that you understand and respect that and I am hopeful that you're okay with that. Me: Cool Me: The reason I reached out is because you keep looking at my stories on instagram . I must of misunderstood. Me: I thought you might of been missing me and there is still something there. Her: I always will miss you. I watch your stories because I want to see whats going on with you. I may not be able to be in your life as a friend and so I harmlessly see whats new through social media. In an ideal setting it would be in person. Maybe I'm being selfish. Her: Anytime we speak over the phone or see one another in person, I get really sad and cry...If Im being honest it is still a challenge to know where my boundary is with you. I don't know whats wrong with me. I did not respond. Next day I posted a story on instagram and off course here she is still looking into my life. I would of thought after I said that she might of took a hint that maybe what she is doing is leading. I am pretty angry she can just breeze in and out and do this. Ive done everything except block her which I don't want to go extreme and I cannot make my instagram private. I am a photographer and its part of my business. I really I really want to confront her and tell her its not harmless to just peer into the life of someone you dumped and she should move on and let me move on. I have not done anything about our last interaction because part of me doesnt even care anymore. I just wanted to vent this here like I have done in the past because it makes me feel better.. Edited September 23, 2019 by robbysurfs Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Dude, block her and stop talking to her, she doesn't seem interested.. you just put yourself out there and got turned down for something romantic... The only way you will heal is NC.. and make your Instagram private... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Block, delete, next..... Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 NC Is up to you. Obviously you can't do it so that's on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Quit blaming her and just block her. Go zero contact and get yourself completely over her. She doesn't want anything but friendship with you so don't allow her to demote you like that. If she doesn't want it all with you then she gets nothing with you. Her creeping is your issue to deal with because its only you that you can control so control the situation that has you so irked and block her. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 23, 2019 Share Posted September 23, 2019 Why have you not blocked her? Link to post Share on other sites
Commongoal123 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Seriously.... block her. Also it seems like she's playing games. A date is a date. The fact she said "yes" and then "no" once she got the "clarification" that it was going to be a "romantic date" screams game playing to me. That text interaction with her actually looks a lot like interactions I had with a diagnosed Borderline Personality ex gf. All you are doing is driving yourself crazy by giving a damn about what she is doing in her life and why she is viewing your Instagram.... which you can easily solve by blocking her. $1,000 says if you block her, she contacts you.... And when that happens be mindful not to boost her ego or let her know you're interested. All she wants from you is validation. Don't give it to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 Your account is public so I really don't know what you issue is. It's public and she is part of the public so therefore she has every right to look at your Instagram page as much as she wants. If it really bothered you then you would just block her and be done with it. I think it just boost your ego. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted September 24, 2019 Share Posted September 24, 2019 I don’t understand what the big deal is. So she looks at your stories...so what? If you don’t want her to look, then change your settings or block her. She’s not interested in a romantic relationship, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to see your stories. You clearly read too much into that. Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 (edited) -"I saw her in the beginning of the summer and she said "last time we saw each other I was hopeful we would get back together this time I dont think so." If you want to get back with her, you end the conversation there. Literally get up and leave if you are out together. If you don't want to get back, still get up and leave. Female energy is about communication and bonding, even if I didn't want to be with a woman I'm not going to sit there listening to this closed off nonsense. -"Her: Like a proper date? Me: Yes, like a real romantic date. Her: I am not comfortable with that right now... there are to many questions going off in my head." This is where the conversation ends. 'Let me know if you ever change your mind, have to go , bye.' Complete NC for life if necessary. Anything else you say indicates low self esteem and potential stalker behavior. It makes you sound like an interrogator, looking for a way in. And just confirms her low interest. Edited October 1, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 If you are so bothered with her looking at your Instagram then block her. If you don't then there is nothing you can do about it. Yes you misunderstood her looking as still being romantically interested, but she isn't. She cares and is interested in friendship but you are not. She hasn't been weird, she has been honest. You're only option is to block her or suck it up. Link to post Share on other sites
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