Am I paranoid?

[Koekie]

Hi everyone!

 

Im currently in a relationship of 2 years with an Egyptian man. At first I was weary, but hes not the gigolo type and barely looked at the girls on the boat that I met him. Hes from a very good family and has enough money. I dont have a passport that means anything and it was also hard for him to come to terms with the fact that he has fallen in love with a non-Muslim girl.

 

I found some odd texts on his phone after an ex girl got my mobile number from her friend who works at the mobile company he uses. She phoned me and a big nasty faight broke out between him and her and his family told me to ignore her she is crazy and just to feel sorry for her.

 

The texts on his phone are from many girls all over the world. Some are exes some are new friends. They send him kisses and hugs and say they miss him. He is a cute thing and is sweet and people in general like him.

 

I cant think of anything but this. It really bugs me. Ive never seen sexual stuff or love stuff and he sometimes tells me if a girl went to far. he used to tell me most things. He doesnt erase them and was furious that I invaded his privacy and read his texts. I also ransacked his room once is search of stuff to see if he has cheated.

 

I can see how friends can send each other kisses and hugs. But I dont know if Im being paranoid? Hes a very confident loyal looking person and I know he didnt cheat on his exes, they all still adore him!

 

Maybe he is just a good friend to these girls. I dont know

 

Any advise?

[Iluvsiamese]

This is where cross-cultural and cross-religeous relationships are problematic. It is impossible for your internal radar to function properly in a different cultural setting. What you may perceive as cheating, he may see as normal. What you see as normal, he might find appalling.

 

It is difficult to say if he is cheating, if you are being paranoid etc. He comes from a culture where there are many different attitudes towards these concepts. This is where you need to learn about his personal values and the generally accepted values of his culture etc. And then you have to decide if you can live with these as they are unlikely to change.

 

While it is very romantic to have such a relationship, the reality is sometimes not easy to deal with. BOTH of you have to be very open-minded and BOTH of you have to be willing to compromise.