Author Springsummer Posted September 26, 2019 Author Share Posted September 26, 2019 First world problems, Springsummer. Somewhere a woman looks for shelter, food and safety for her family, who are assured of none of those necessities. She has no idea where their next meal will come from or how she can provide for even the most basic needs for herself and her children. She'd trade place with you in a heartbeat. Come on now. I have never known anybody who has ever been in that kind of situation. and no, I am from an ordinary background. The median family income in my city is 100K CAD. but thanks for reminding me ...it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 Come on now. I have never known anybody who has ever been in that kind of situation. I have no words. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 I am from an ordinary background. Which, in the Western world, typically means you have a roof over your head, a meal on your table, available healthcare and a job to cover your ongoing expenses, discretionary income included. Glass half empty or half full ??? Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted September 26, 2019 Author Share Posted September 26, 2019 (edited) As for the path, it's still your path. As I look back there are things I wish I did differently -- studied harder; gotten better grades; worked for more prestigious companies; saved more; had a child but I didn't I have to make the best of where I am now. Some days it's harder then others to do that but unless I can build or buy a time machine I have to find peace where I am & so do you. Instead of railing about what you don't have, think about what you do have. I saw a cartoon the other day in 3 blocks. In the 1st panel a guy on a bike is envious of a guy with a car. In the 2nd panel a guy walking is envious of the biker. In the 3rd panel a guy in a wheel chair is envious of the walker. As much as you're not satisfied with your life, somebody else would be thrilled to have it. Thank you for your advises and offer different perspectives. I really appreciate it. Need to keep reminding myself of those things. I find some folks here offer much better help than the counselors I have ever talked to, especially yours. In fact, I find some counselors almost useless. I am not sure if it is because they are 'free'. Edited September 27, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 (edited) I am from an ordinary background. The median family income in my city is 100K CAD. Yep, another reminder to count your blessings from me too. You're upset because you believe your education and qualifications aren't being recognised. But you seem to have forgotten how fortunate you are to have those things to start with. Your ordinary background has helped you obtain this education. You are readily employable and have a secure roof over your head. It's quite likely that your parents encouraged and supported you through school and university. You are actually quite privileged....but your anxieties are making the small stuff into far bigger issues than they really are. Edited September 26, 2019 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 26, 2019 Share Posted September 26, 2019 Thank you for your advises and offer different perspectives. I really appreciate it. Need to keep reminding myself of those things. I find some folks here offer much better help than the counselors I have ever talked to, especially yours. In fact, I find some counselors almost useless. I am not sure if it is because they are 'free'. You're welcome. Much of my advice is informed by decades worth of therapy I paid for. lol Sometimes you have to keep looking & be wiling to fire counselors. I have had some great ones & I have some who I think got their degrees from a Cracker Jack box. One of the ones who helped me the most (who screwed me over in other ways) suggested that I keep a gratitude journal. Every day you wake up & write 3 things you are grateful for, big or small. At night you write 3 more. Once per week you read what you wrote. It's hard to maintain your pessimism & angst when you see the written good stuff. I also reconnected with my faith about 2+ years ago & that has helped soooo much, more then decades of therapy actually. Try it. Bad stuff happens. Heaven knows I am a champ at beating myself up when I make mistakes & when things don't go my way. Read my whiny thread about damaging my new car. Boy did I take myself to task for that. The trick is to learn to roll with the punches. I still don't have that down but am going back into therapy hopefully to improve my EQ (that's some psycho babble for being able to pick yourself up & dust yourself off, which I suck at) Hang in there. Keep posting. One foot in front of the other. . . . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted September 27, 2019 Author Share Posted September 27, 2019 One of the ones who helped me the most (who screwed me over in other ways) suggested that I keep a gratitude journal. Every day you wake up & write 3 things you are grateful for, big or small. At night you write 3 more. Once per week you read what you wrote. It's hard to maintain your pessimism & angst when you see the written good stuff. . oh, yes! Just booked a ticket with others to go to Aspen this winter for a ski strip. That's exciting. One of those very few things life is worth living for...that's why I can't commit suicide. on the other hand, finally had a fallout with this woman. She is the reason of all my miseries at work. It took her many many year to get the position. and she is leaving and would hate to see someone who get to her position in a short time. Sometimes she is nice to me, but deep down she resent and hate me I guess. I went to her office/cubicle and told her we are unionize and I can put up a fight after hearing her talking about possibility of picking out someone else. I am the only one in the team and is basically doing some of her things. I was advised by a couple of senior people that I should do so. jees...I am not a confrontational person and I don't like conflict. but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 oh, yes! Just booked a ticket with others to go to Aspen this winter for a ski strip. Combines two exciting activities ... jees...I am not a confrontational person and I don't like conflict. but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Feels good to stand up for yourself, eh? Well done... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Springsummer, I'm so worried for you hearing you talk about suicide over the issues in your life. You're at the stage where you need psychological intervention and possibly even a psychiatrist. I beg you to seek help from your doctor. Life can be a whole lot better than where you are now. And I speak as someone who's taking antidepressants. It's completely turned my life around. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 Springsummer, I'm so worried for you hearing you talk about suicide over the issues in your life. I agree. Maybe it's a cultural thing?? I can't imagine being suicidal over not getting a promotion at work. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 27, 2019 Share Posted September 27, 2019 jees...I am not a confrontational person and I don't like conflict. but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Absolutely. Kudos for advocating for yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 (edited) Absolutely. Kudos for advocating for yourself! Looks like people response to strength/showdown. this morning she put a technical book on my desk. you know after 1 year I did the job, why she didn't give me earlier? and how, I put it in the common area in the hall. she came and asked why I said it's for an older release of a software and she said still useful and I said that change a lot and she said fine she will keep it. actually what I should said is 'thanks, I don't need it'. but I am not good at thinking on my feet. damn, I figure those things on my own without any book and her help. I think I am a grateful person. but now I no longer easily bought by people's 'kindness'. Edited September 28, 2019 by Springsummer Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted October 4, 2019 Share Posted October 4, 2019 but I have got so much education. There are people who have much less education but get way way ahead of me. I can not help but feel my life is a colossus failure. yes. I really need hug. Nowadays I only have my cat to hug, so I hug him like mad. How am I supposed to tell a guy my age? what will be the reaction? I feel like having cold sweat just thinking about that. Today, I also kind of letting those people know that I am not going to stay at the same position here while some body else get the higher position. Most of the time, there is no need to tell anyone your age. If you want to date a guy though, then what is wrong with telling him your age if he wants to know (or if it is a dating site)? Do you want to start off on a false premise? Do you think that any guy attracted to you is going to be put off when he knows your age? It seems highly unlikely. I am always honest with guys about my age. I do not want to start out with a lie and I am very put off if a guy lies to me about his age. There should not be a problem if you avoid the younger guys who are looking for a 'mature' woman because they cannot find a younger one, then you should be fine. I really do not understand why people fear letting others know their real age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Springsummer Posted October 7, 2019 Author Share Posted October 7, 2019 (edited) Do you think that any guy attracted to you is going to be put off when he knows your age? It seems highly unlikely. deleted...................... Edited October 7, 2019 by Springsummer deleted Link to post Share on other sites
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