Is my ex gf making up a fake boyfriend/fiance to make me jealous?

[Reltubsirch0412]

I have reason to believe my ex-fiancee has totally made up a boyfriend (and now fiancee) out of thin air to try to make me jealous.

 

BACKGROUND. I was engaged to a woman I consider the love of my life. She got cancer. The effects of the cancer treatments did terrible things to her body and mind that affected her physical and mental health in terrible ways. She broke off the engagement because of her health problems. A year passes. I get involved with another woman. Right around that time, THREE MONTHS AGO, the woman I was engaged to tells me her health is better and she still loves me. I'm conflicted about it because I'm in a new relationship. We talk. I ask her if she wants to get back together. She says no, because she doesn't want to break me and my new girlfriend up. New girlfriend is actually very nice and sweet...but I'm still in love with my ex-fiancee. But ex-fiancee tells me to try to see what happens with my new girlfriend...and maybe we will get back together Ex-fiancee and I still consider each other best friends. We've known each other 10 years.

 

PRESENT DAY: Ex-fiancee told me she's been seeing a guy for TWO MONTHS, and he's recently asked for her hand in marriage. I've suspected all along she's made the guy up out of thin air. She has no pictures of him on Facebook. If he has a Facebook of his own then he never interacts with her on her page (no likes, comments, etc.), at least no one fitting how she describes him. She never mentions a boyfriend or significant other on Facebook.

 

One day she tells me he's eight years older than her. Another day she tells me he's four years younger than her. That's two wildly conflicting statements about him.

 

The other night at around 3:30 a.m. we were facetiming each other. She was home. She claimed he was knocking on her door, but she turned out all the lights and said she was ignoring him and making him think she was sleeping because had doubts about him and didn't walk to talk to him. But she has four easily excitable dogs in that house that get jumpy at anything. I never heard or (from my vantage point) saw the dogs get excited or jumpy when this guy was supposedly knocking on her door. And she was talking rather loudly to me on the phone at the time, and if the guy is real he must have heard her because she was near the front door.

 

Tonight I checked her Facebook profile's relationship status. It went from "In a Relationship" to "Engaged."

 

MORE BACKGROUND: My ex-fiancee were actually together 12 years ago. We broke up. One day after we broke up (the first time) she told me she already had another guy lined up. That was one of the reasons why I never tried to get her back, at least not for another 10 years. But 10 years later, AFTER we got back together, I asked her about it. She said she made the guy up just to make me jealous and to see if I would try to get her back. It had the opposite effect because it discouraged me from pursuing her...at least not for another decade...but the bottom line is she admitted she lied about having another guy to make me jealous.

 

BACK TO CURRENT DAY: Is this a repeat of what happened 12 years ago? Granted, there is no way any of you would know for sure, but it seems to me she is making this new boyfriend/fiance up to make me jealous? But....why? She doesn't want me to break up with my current girlfriend and get back with her? At least she doesn't want to be the cause of breaking us up. But she still tells me she loves me and floats the the idea that maybe we'll get back together in five years or so.

 

MY QUESTIONS:

1. Do you think it's likely, given her past behavior, she has made this boyfriend/fiancee up and is trying to make me jealous?

 

2. If she is trying to make me jealous then what is her endgame here, especially if she wants me to believe she is now off-limits again?

 

3. Any other thoughts?

[crispytoast]

No she isn't making him up. Or maybe she is? Why does it matter? The only thing I really gathered from all of this is that you aren't being honest with your new girlfriend.

[salparadise]

Yup, conflicting facts is a dead giveaway. Explain that it's not right for the two of you to be talking behind her fiancé's back, give her your very best wishes for a successful marriage, and say adios. I feel kinda sorry for her, but what is the point of indulging someone when you know they're consciously lying and manipulating you. Leave her to enjoy her delusions and you stay with reality (and sanity).

[elaine567]

I doubt she is trying to get you back

I think she may love you, but doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

If she did then she wouldn't care a damn about your new gf, she would demand you came back to her and she wouldn't want to ruin things between you and her, by saying anything about her "new bf" either.

She already tried making you jealous previously and it didn't work before, so why would she want to do that again, IF she wanted you back.

More likely she knows the "new bf", whether true or not, will discourage you like it did before, and that is what she wants...

[d0nnivain]

My only thought is you shouldn't know any of this. Disconnect. Get her out of your life on all platforms & stop worrying about what she is doing. It doesn't matter. She's your past.

[stillafool]

Well if you really think she is lying about being engaged just say "I wish you and your fiance the best and I'm glad you found happiness". Then walk away and stop talking to her. If she is lying you'll find out soon but don't play her game. She sounds rather wishy washy and confused. Let the "nice and sweet" girl go because you don't have her best interest in mind and start dating someone new. What you had with your ex is done.

[SumGuy]

I'm wondering why do you spend so much time talking to and thinking about what this ex is up to when you have a girlfriend.

 

Yes your ex sounds all sorts of messed up. Is it you enjoy the drama and sleuthing out what is going on in her head?

[kendahke]

I'm still in love with my ex-fiancee. But ex-fiancee tells me to try to see what happens with my new girlfriend

 

Then you need to end things with the new girlfriend. You are being totally unfair and messy. Does she know you're still in love with your ex?

 

You are too emotionally wrapped up in your ex for someone who is supposedly in a new relationship. This isn't going to end well for your new girlfriend and she deserve way better treatment than you're capable of giving, apparently.