Prudence V Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 I think it's just a difference in the sexes. My H’s xW also claimed to be “blindsided” when he left a M of 30 years. In reality he’d tried so many times, had the receipts... but she’d never taken it seriously enough to hear his unhappiness. And so, when something better presented itself as a realistic prospect, he left. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Blind-Sided Posted September 29, 2019 Author Share Posted September 29, 2019 I've always though the term "midlife crisis" was over dramatic. The truth is, we all want different things at different times in our lives. ...... Add in the lesser stigma divorce has today and it's not hard to see "why people leave"... Mr. Lucky Thanks... you always have great insight. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 People leave for all matter of different reasons. But I think within context of what you meant in your first post, there are a couple of very similar reasons. When you first get together with a partner, everything is new and amazing and we tend to overlook some of the issues that may arise over time. Also add to that the fact that one (or both) partners may really really want this to work and adjust their behaviour accordingly. Of course, that doesn't last forever, the dust eventually settles and you are left with two people moving through their lives. Bad habits start to develop, incompatibilities start to show, and these seem minor at first, until they're not. And that can take a few months, a few years or a few decades - you may get to the point where, for whatever reason, the person is a lot more frustrating than adding to your life. By which time you also feel you're too committed to leave... so you sit for even longer, making yourself more miserable anyway until the point where you snap. And that's not even taking into account that people change over time. I'm sure anyone on this board who is over 30 is pretty sure they're not the same person they were at 20. Some people need that space to explore who the new them is. Sometimes I ask myself the opposite question... that is, why do people stay? Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Just my own opinion, but in some cases, it's people chasing some vague notion of "happiness". We're told we have the right to "be happy", but what does that even really mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts