Berteau Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 I was with a girl for 9 months and she said she was deeply in love with me, but I didn’t feel the same and ended it. 2 months later a friend told me she was with another guy and they were posting I love you messages on Facebook. Does this sound like a rebound or what? When we started dating she was separated but going through a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 She stuck it out with you for 9 months...that isn't a rebound....and you were the one that dumped her. BUT this guy she is dating now, well ya it's a possibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berteau Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 She stuck it out with you for 9 months...that isn't a rebound....and you were the one that dumped her. BUT this guy she is dating now, well ya it's a possibility. I meant is the new guy a rebound. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 Ya and I said it's a possibility but no one can know for sure. If she sticks it out for 9 months then no he's not. If it lasts for only a couple of months we could say yes he was. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berteau Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 And can you really fall in love 2 months after being deeply in love with someone else? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 Just curious, why are you wondering about it? If you're feeling a little jealousy, maybe you cared more about her than you thought. Or maybe you're ego is bruised that she's moved on. Or you feel guilty for dumping her. Just something for you to consider maybe. Bottom line, I would try not think about it if I were you. You chose to not be with her, she's not your concern anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berteau Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 Just curious, why are you wondering about it? If you're feeling a little jealousy, maybe you cared more about her than you thought. Or maybe you're ego is bruised that she's moved on. Or you feel guilty for dumping her. Just something for you to consider maybe. Bottom line, I would try not think about it if I were you. You chose to not be with her, she's not your concern anymore. All of the above. But now that I know about it I want insight on my question. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 Sorry, I should have answered your question. My answer is that there is no way to know what's in her heart or head. Time will tell. She may have started seeing him to help get past her hurt over you, but something real might have developed, even this quickly. Then again in a few months she may be making Facebook posts gushing over another new guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 It's impossible to say, OP. It depends on her age and maturity level, how she defines "love", and so much more. She is happy to have found someone new, in any case. Whether or not it will last is another question entirely. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 It all really depends on the degree of emotional investment in the old relationship. Dumpees are usually pretty upset/heart broken over a break up and may grab the first person who comes along. They slot that person straight into the spot previously occupied by their loved one. Once they wake up and start feeling better they realise the substitute is NOT the real thing so dump them, or force the other to dump them by withdrawing or causing fights.. etc. That is a rebound relationship. If your gf, truly loved you then perhaps her new guy is a rebound, but it really depends on how much the break up affected her. Some people are pretty resilient and pragmatic. In love one day, not working out, split up, move on to the next.. She had just gone through a divorce so my guess you were her rebound, so maybe she was not that affected when you split, so she is now moving seamlessly onward with her new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 Yes I think the new guy is probably a rebound. But not a rebound off of your 9 months but a rebound, same as you, off of her marriage. A love relationship is by definition mutual. Since you never reciprocated her feelings, it was an infatuation or longing on her part. Some people go through a series of rebounds spanning a few years after a divorce or big break up. They're not each rebounds off of the previous fling, but all rebounds off of the marriage or long term relationship. Maybe that's why you felt something was not right when she said she loved you deeply. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 Time alone does not define a rebound. A rebound is when person A & person B break up but person A can't handle being alone. So person A immediately latches on to the very next person solely because anyone is better then no one. The new person is just there to fill a void. So if your EX processed your break up & moved forward, her new relationship is not a rebound. It's only a rebound if she can't deal with being alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 It's a possibility but it could be anything given the circumstances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 The way I look at it (from the perspective of the dumper), you need to happy if your ex finds happiness quickly. That's much better than your ex sitting around hurt and unhappy because of you. Whether it is a rebound or something more permanent, at least she is finding some happiness. That is a good thing! Take your feelings and pride out of it for a minute and think about her well being. This woman offered you her heart and had it flung back in her face. Why should she be punished further? Doesn't she deserves a man who feels the same way? Clearly the new guy appreciates a good thing when he sees it. If you're having regrets now I guess you need to ask yourself why did you jump to that decision? Did you not think things through carefully enough or was this just a dent to the ego? Either way I think you should show her the respect of letting her move on in peace. That's just my view on dumper's etiquette. You need to figure out what yours is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berteau Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 The way I look at it (from the perspective of the dumper), you need to happy if your ex finds happiness quickly. That's much better than your ex sitting around hurt and unhappy because of you. Whether it is a rebound or something more permanent, at least she is finding some happiness. That is a good thing! Take your feelings and pride out of it for a minute and think about her well being. This woman offered you her heart and had it flung back in her face. Why should she be punished further? Doesn't she deserves a man who feels the same way? Clearly the new guy appreciates a good thing when he sees it. If you're having regrets now I guess you need to ask yourself why did you jump to that decision? Did you not think things through carefully enough or was this just a dent to the ego? Either way I think you should show her the respect of letting her move on in peace. That's just my view on dumper's etiquette. You need to figure out what yours is. I agree. And I hope she is happy and I want her to be. I’m just a bit taken back by this and I want to know if it is real or not. A part of me is now wondering how true her feelings were for me and if she just jumped for me because she needs to be with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 And can you really fall in love 2 months after being deeply in love with someone else? Yes it happens especially when the dumper admitted he wasn't in love with you. There was no hope left in your relationship and finally a guy is giving her what she longed for. Be happy for her, you didn't love her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Berteau Posted September 28, 2019 Author Share Posted September 28, 2019 Yes it happens especially when the dumper admitted he wasn't in love with you. There was no hope left in your relationship and finally a guy is giving her what she longed for. Be happy for her, you didn't love her. Well if I was in love with her or not is irrelevant to how fast she can fan in love again. And for context, the guy she divorced said he was in love with her and then cheated on her shortly after their marriage. She admitted neither of them were in love. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 I think it's possible to fall in love in 2 months. It's her first relationship after yours ended. Doesn't necessarily make it a rebound. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted September 28, 2019 Share Posted September 28, 2019 Well if I was in love with her or not is irrelevant to how fast she can fan in love again. Maybe she's just the type who can fall in love fast. Who cares? Do you want her to be unhappy? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 A part of me is now wondering how true her feelings were for me and if she just jumped for me because she needs to be with someone. From her ex to you to this new guy, this is someone who doesn't like to be alone. More a case of serial activity than rebounding, one relationship doesn't seem to have a lot to do with another... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 And can you really fall in love 2 months after being deeply in love with someone else? Everyone's a little different. So, maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
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