Intense eye contact: Has my female friend developed feelings for me?

[Occitanie]

We’ve known eachother for years. She’s really pretty, full of life, bubbly, intelligent and high responsible. I’ve always had a soft spot for her, but I’ve noticed that recently those feelings have gone way beyond meet friendship.

 

We went out for dinner with another close friend, and I noticed that she tends to look at me way more than him. If she’s talking to him, it’s almost as if she’s talking more to me.

 

There was a moment too when we locked eyes for quite some time, she looked down and to the side, and then back up and smiled.

 

It’s only just a feeling that she might like me back for the moment...

[d0nnivain]

Maybe.

 

You are going to have to gently manipulate this development to your favor. Find a reason to be alone with her in a quasi romantic but natural situation: walk her to her car, go out to breakfast after a night out. See if you can generate some more heat then work up to a conversation about possibly changing the status of your relationship.

[smackie9]

I think it's the other way around. She notices that you have been staring at her with puppy love eyes lately. She's just trying to confirm it, and finds it flattering. BUT here comes the other part. When you catch strong feelings for someone your brain tends to see things that are not really there. Thinking a glance or eye contact as romantic interest when it's just them being normal.

If you like this girl, simply as her out on a date whether she gives you the right signals or not. It's all about taking a shot.

[alphamale]

you are already friendzoned. you should have asked her out when you first met her

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

If you're both single and available, just ask her (that is, if you are interested in her that way). Life's too short not to.

 

If either of you are married, leave it the heck alone.

[Tim453]

First of all, I know how you feel. It is this god damn feeling that there could be more. But you never know. I have been in that situation quite a lot because I am shy and scared of rejection. I can tell you: ask the girl or you will never know.

 

I think it's the other way around. She notices that you have been staring at her with puppy love eyes lately. She's just trying to confirm it, and finds it flattering. BUT here comes the other part. When you catch strong feelings for someone your brain tends to see things that are not really there. Thinking a glance or eye contact as romantic interest when it's just them being normal.

If you like this girl, simply as her out on a date whether she gives you the right signals or not. It's all about taking a shot.

 

This is not necessarily true. Sometimes it is a feeling you get, and this feeling just tells you it's right and it's a feeling that is created by both parties feeling happy in the current situation. This feeling would never be there if the other person wouldn't feel the same (if that makes sense).This feeling should not be there only once tho.

[Occitanie]

you are already friendzoned. you should have asked her out when you first met her

 

Yeah, she was 8 when I first met her, and I was 13.

[carhill]

you are already friendzoned. you should have asked her out when you first met her

Yeah, even if she's having sex with him that doesn't mean she has 'feelings', rather just scratching an itch on the nearest familiar pole. OP, don't try to figure things out, do what you want to do and accept the results. The last person I had sex with I'd known since a teenager she had an itch to scratch and I obliged. Yeah, the kisses and ILY's are nice but still not that meaningful. Doesn't mean we're gonna date or get married or anything. Women are like that. They vary. Men are a useful tool. Had plenty of female friends in life and never dated any of them, regardless of eye contact, ILY's, physical affection, whatever. Alpha is spot on.

[smackie9]

This is not necessarily true . Sometimes it is a feeling you get, and this feeling just tells you it's right and it's a feeling that is created by both parties feeling happy in the current situation. This feeling would never be there if the other person wouldn't feel the same (if that makes sense). This feeling should not be there only once tho.

In most cases yes I'm afraid, depending on the level of obsession, especially when it's an inexperienced person or of an introvert personality. When they have to question it, most of the time they mistook the interaction as romantic when it's just being friendly. In my youth I have experienced guys taking my friendly interaction as romantic, then they accuse me of leading them on when I reject their advances. So that being said, you can get along like gangbusters, doesn't mean romantic interest is involved...especially when it comes to us ladies. We can interact quite passionately without any sexual attraction, hence the creation of the "friends zone" and the mass confusion of young men everywhere.

Edited October 4, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Tim453]

@smackie9....

 

 

I don't wanna go too off-topic regarding OPs problem but I wanna explain my opinion. Obviously you can "get along like gangbusters" without romantic interest. I also said, that I don't think staring at a person once and then looking away can be seen as romantic interest. I am saying: If there are multiple times this happens, including other small things, there might be a possibility of the other person being, indeed, romantically interested.

 

To get back to OPs case. There might also be a difference because both have known each other for a while. She can't just go all in and be like "I love you". It has to be slow. Maybe she is scared OP doesn't think about a romantic relationship so she is taking it slow.

In my experience, flirting is easier with people you don't care about because if you mess it up: well whatever. If you already care about a person but you don't know how they feel about you it makes flirting harder. Which mostly results in flirting that can be taken as flirting but could also just be a joke. Idk if that's a good example but that's just what I am thinking of rn: *after me teasing her about anything concerning her body* Her response: Well, if you would see me naked you wouldn't say that.

Saying this she doesn't risk anything. It could be a joke, it could be a way of flirting.

 

So Occitanie is there anything else that happened except the eye contact once?

 

//PS: This is how I see things! I don't necessarily say that it's true or that this is how it works. It's MY experience.

Edited October 4, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[carhill]

Yeah, she was 8 when I first met her, and I was 13.

That means you're in the brother-zone, a prison from which there is no escape. Your bond predates sex. Heck she might have had a pre-pubescent crush on you at 8 but when the old ovulation factory started that was long gone and you were an adult. We men have to get out of the mindset that women think like us. With us practically any woman is an option worth considering at one time or another. With them it runs on emotion not sex and once a man's image is tied to an emotional memory of nope never gonna have sex with him that's pretty much it, except perhaps when they have an itch to scratch or a husband or boyfriend to piss off. Then he becomes a useful tool. Once done, back in the toolbag of celibacy/non-interest/whatever. Sure they'll gussy it up with sweet talk and batting of eyelashes and vacuous stares but reality is reality. However, your gal could be an exception. For years, perhaps decades, I believed in exceptions.

[Maddie82]

I don't think she has a romantic interest, but she has picked up on yours. This is why she keeps looking at you.