lm0905 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 (edited) For context: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/rom...uple-s-therapy Hi all, My boyfriend and I of 3 years are currently going through a rough patch. We are working through it and, thought it won't be instantaneous overnight, we both know things will get better and are working towards it. Having said that, our sex life (understandably) has dwindled to none for the past 2 1/2 weeks. I assume this is normal, right? Him and I have never gone through a rough-patch before, but I assume that it is normal for your sex life to be put on hold when going through this? Just wondering, I assume it is normal to not really have physical relations with your partner (outside of hugging and kisses) when you guys have hit a little rough patch? Edited September 30, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 we both know things will get better and are working towards it. Having said that, our sex life (understandably) has dwindled to none for the past 2 1/2 weeks. An obvious disconnect between these two statements. If you're both committed and "working towards it", wouldn't maintaining intimacy be part of that ? As a couple, you can talk the talk or walk the walk. One gives you a better chance of success... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 Hum, what's the source of the rough patch? I have found my husband and I actually tend to have more sex when going through stuff. I think it's our heightened emotions, make up sex, etc. It's like we are saying - "I am pissed at you but still crazy about you" Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 Are you telling him "Don't you dare touch me!" or is he saying "I'm really tired tonight." Are you sleeping apart? Shower together to save the environment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lm0905 Posted September 30, 2019 Author Share Posted September 30, 2019 Are you telling him "Don't you dare touch me!" or is he saying "I'm really tired tonight." Are you sleeping apart? Shower together to save the environment. It's neither.. It's just not happening? We are sleeping in the same bed, kissing each other goodnight/good morning, and saying 'I love you' before we go to sleep and after we wake up. But it would usually just start with us cuddling, then kissing, etc. But it isn't happening. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 What is the cause of this rough patch? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 That comes down to the two people involved. For me, I'm probably not going to be wanting sex if I'm mad at someone. I believe most men want sex no matter what the situation, though. But everyone is different. So I guess you will find out what happens. I mean, one may be desperate to make up and be offering sex and the other may feel disrespected and turned off. I don't think it would be much fun to have sex if you're both mad at each other. But it totally depends on the two people and the situation and how the two people each handle things, like whether one compartmentalizes sex and maybe the other one "makes love." Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 Both moved and got jobs in a new city. plan was for 2 years. After 1 year, bf had a great job with a great company, but the OP wanted to go home. BF is staying for 2 months longer to allow training of his replacement. oP is going home. He said that if after the 2 months apart, if things aren't 'better', then maybe we just don't talk for a month or so, so I can can 'grow' and mature without him being there to 'coach' me, but that seems like a last resort and if everything that I plan on fixing gets worked out when we are apart for the 2 months, I don't think this will be necessary My guess he ain't too happy with the OP. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 But it isn't happening. Rather than waiting for lightning to strike, why not take things into your own hands - literally ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 From your last post I'm going to put out there that this is more than a two week glitch. You've actually had a rough year. He's having to leave his job because of you . He's talking about breaks and sounds like he's reconsidering the whole relationship. You're talking about learning to be less selfish (and cudos to you for recognising your issues) but these changes could well be too late for him. There's nothing I read in the last thread which gives me the impression that he knows things will get better. Sounds more like he's giving it a last ditch effort and will walk away if things don't improve. With all this history, I would imagine that he's too upset with you to want to be intimate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 30, 2019 Share Posted September 30, 2019 Rather than waiting for lightning to strike, why not take things into your own hands - literally Mr Lucky, I think he's too PO'd to want sex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 1, 2019 Share Posted October 1, 2019 Mr Lucky, I think he's too PO'd to want sex. If you're right, that's pretty PO'd. Most guys want sex under most conditions... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts