Karen Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 It was really bothering me that by bf had not told me he was engaged, or anything else about his last relationship, so I told him I knew he was engaged. He got really mad and said he didnt want to talk about it. So I got mad and asked him if he didn't talk about it because he still loved his ex! he said: of course I still love her, and i always WILL- we were together for 10 years then i said: if you love her so much, why arent you with her! he said: i'm not with her because i started treating her like ##### and she finally left and told me never to contact her again. i said: what do you mean 'treated her like #####'? he said: if you think i'm mean to YOU, i was a 100 times worse to her, and i loved HER. me: so you don't love ME? he: i don't know if I CAN love anyone. i don't want to hurt you, but i don't feel the same way about you that i felt for her. now, im really upset and with i'd never brought it up. what can i do to make things go back to normal???? Link to post Share on other sites
me Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 umm, if i were u, i'd run from the guy!! any way u look at it, u'r better off getting away from him. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 i'm sorry that you had to have such a distressing conversation with your boyfriend but you have no idea just how lucky you are to have actually had this conversation. this guy has, in a nutshell, told you that he doesn't love you the way you deserve to be loved....he has just done you a big favour by spitting that out to you. just one question....do you consider 'normal' being with a guy who is obviously still hung-up on his ex and can't devote himself to your or LOVE YOU??? why in heaven's name would you want to go back to that???? my feeling is that you want to go back to what you THOUGHT you had before all of this 'previously engaged' bizzo came up. but the facts have been laid bare....this is not the normal relationship that you thought you had or were hoping to have with this man. to stay with him would be ripping yourself off. if i were in this situation, as hard as it would be, i would walk. at least that way, he will have time to figure out if he does want a relationship or not, and to figure out if he is capable of getting over his ex and loving someone else. i don't know how anyone could stand to be with someone who has more feelings for someone else. to do so signifies some incredible feelings of insecurity and a lack of self-worth. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashesmum Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 I agree with the top two messages. Leave him or you will never find your happiness (or loves for that matter!). You deserve better. Tell him to go find someone that wants to be treated like ####. It was really bothering me that by bf had not told me he was engaged, or anything else about his last relationship, so I told him I knew he was engaged. He got really mad and said he didnt want to talk about it. So I got mad and asked him if he didn't talk about it because he still loved his ex! he said: of course I still love her, and i always WILL- we were together for 10 years then i said: if you love her so much, why arent you with her! he said: i'm not with her because i started treating her like ##### and she finally left and told me never to contact her again. i said: what do you mean 'treated her like #####'? he said: if you think i'm mean to YOU, i was a 100 times worse to her, and i loved HER. me: so you don't love ME? he: i don't know if I CAN love anyone. i don't want to hurt you, but i don't feel the same way about you that i felt for her. now, im really upset and with i'd never brought it up. what can i do to make things go back to normal???? Link to post Share on other sites
Tammie Posted June 7, 2001 Share Posted June 7, 2001 Don't think I'm gloating over this. I'm not. I had friends go through this exact thing, being in your position and the ex's'. Although you're hurt, be glad you found this out NOW and did not waste years of your life like his ex. I don't think he loves/ loved his ex, either. I don't think he is capable of loving anyone because he obviously does not love himself. YOu WILL find a good MAN, one who IS capable of love. Next time, find out MORE about the guy (and not just his 'things') before you get attached. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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