Was in a relationship with a wonderful woman but something was missing...

[Twizzlestick]

Hi OP

 

If you’re with someone who is lovely I think it’s not uncommon to stay too long in a rele because you feel you “should” be in love and doubt your own doubts as it were. I think a lot of people end up staying in things too long. I’ve done it myself.

 

You made a decision after a year. Granted some will advise try to do this earlier, that would be ideal in future. But fair play you made a decision and a year is not bad. Many folk stay in bad reles for yonks.

 

It will hurt and you will have the old fear of missing out. You recognise you made the decision for a good reason and you have identified that if you went back the old feelings would be there. I think you sound solid and are just going through natural emotions.

 

Yeah the old sparks and butterflies are massively over egged and lots of us don’t get it and it’s not something that lasts in a rele.

 

You have anxiety but I think staring at that might be a red herring that takes away from the fact you’ve probably just made a perfectly sound and good decision that’s quite natural. Don’t start worrying about attachment problems just because you exited one rele. We can be with the loveliest person on Earth but doesn’t mean we vibe as partners.

 

You’re likely going round in circles doubting why you can lack the feelings as on paper she was lovely. But trust me on paper doesn’t cut it to the mind. It’s so complex. Sexual chemistry, personality all the rest. Your mind is not just looking for “love” (familial, sisterly, friendly are all love bare in mind) with a partner, it’s got thousands of years of instincts looking for its “mate”.

Edited October 24, 2019 by Twizzlestick