harryb775 Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 I am married, I started chatting to someone on a facebook group, we hit it off and ended up getting carried away, it only lasted a couple of weeks and when I realized what was happening I blocked the person. Nothing actually happened between us but we clicked more than I do with my wife and that's left me feeling wracked with guilt. Any advice? I don't really want to tell the Mrs as it really was a nothing it's just me thinking into it too much. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 I think you've just forgotten how much you clicked with your wife before she was your wife. Two weeks -- you know nothing about this person. Everyone is putting on a show the first couple of weeks. It takes a couple of years to see who they really are. You don't know what a person is like until you've experienced them when they aren't getting their way. So stop idealizing this stranger on the internet and indulging in fantasy and put yourself into your marriage. I'm sure you can think of ways to be more helpful and more entertaining and keep things from getting too stagnant. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author harryb775 Posted October 2, 2019 Author Share Posted October 2, 2019 I think you've just forgotten how much you clicked with your wife before she was your wife. Two weeks -- you know nothing about this person. Everyone is putting on a show the first couple of weeks. It takes a couple of years to see who they really are. You don't know what a person is like until you've experienced them when they aren't getting their way. So stop idealizing this stranger on the internet and indulging in fantasy and put yourself into your marriage. I'm sure you can think of ways to be more helpful and more entertaining and keep things from getting too stagnant. Good luck. Well if nothing else this has made me realize how much I love me wife, I just feel guilty for even going there in the first place. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 The important is that you realized early you were playing with fire and you blocked it. Now try to inject some fun in your marriage and ignite that old flame. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 You can try to understand why it happened so it won't happen again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 "I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song So while she lay there sleeping, I surfed the net in bed And on the FB page, there was this profile I read" (probably no one under 40 will know what the heck this is).. Don't worry, man.... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 If you think about it logically, your wife is certainly not the only person you will ever click/have chemistry with. I assume you have had previous relationships before being married, so you know this must be true. That being said, clearly you value the enjoyment of a stable marriage over the enjoyment of someone new. It's good you shut it down when you did, but it's worth considering objectively (read: with curiosity, not guilt or judgement) why you ended up getting carried away with this person? Was it just a little fun with someone being friendly or was it perhaps filling something (minor as it may be) that is missing from your marriage? You can either chalk it up to experience, or you can use that to try and further improve your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 2, 2019 Share Posted October 2, 2019 Wracked with guilt but it will pass quickly enough and next time maybe the guilt won't feel so intense especially after realizing you got away with it. I do like that you very self aware as to what was happening to you and took immediate direct action to shut it down. I also believe you are sincere in your desire to not do a repeat. Even the best of us need some checks and balances. Make sure your wife has access to all of your social platforms so you never know when she will check up on you and encourage her to do so. Just a little insurance. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 "I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song TFY I never get tired of my favorite songs. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 "I was tired of my lady, we'd been together too long Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song So while she lay there sleeping, I surfed the net in bed And on the FB page, there was this profile I read" Think you’re updating the song, that was in the dark ages pre-Facebook. No click or swipe, you actually had to go all out and respond to the ad... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
afewscrewsloose Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 Sometimes the lines can get blurry. I will definitely not criticize but I encourage you to think introspectively about why this happened. It’s possible once you’ve had a taste you mind may start to wander again. Sometimes long term relationships can get a little more dull or lose excitement over time. I can’t speak for everyone’s relationships but sparks may disappear too. But a relationship can develop into being so much more than about a spark. I do feel like having good friends outside of your SO is important though to help keep balance in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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