Confused_trs Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Hi all. I was in a LDR (Long distance relationship). She lives in middle East whilst I live in England. We met through gaming apps. Then suddenly after that some social apps and on and on. Everything went smooth as I felt as if I have found my soul mate. We was chatting every day till mornings. We couldn't stay without texting each other one day. So we met on August 2018 and just recently, just after our first anniversary we started having crushes... Ok I have to be honest because I couldn't yet go and see her in her home country we started having so many arguments. I started becoming jealous because she kept adding people on her social media's, she lately started ignoring a bit.. I felt as if I was just ignored so much lately and yet she had time for everyone around her. Anyway after long arguments she starting even distancing her self more. Sometimes I write on what's app which she is online but reads after 2-3 days. And even then she sometimes replies, sometimes just ignores. When she replies she is so cold just like a stranger. Now my issue here is the last time I text was last week around 25 September. And since 23 August we haven't spoke on phone or anything... Just text. She never answered my calls. On 25 September just two days before my birthday she said look I still love you but we cannot be together anymore... We are not good for each other because we always argue, fight because of distance etc.. No matter how much I tried to explain she just said we won't be together anymore.. But she still loves me and she won't lose me. I said I am sorry. I don't accept friendship after relationship. I said u have plenty friends and you don't need another. So I just left it as it is. Two days later on my birthday I shared a status on what's app saying thanks for everyone's birthday wishes... She checked my status the next evening and just wrote " Happy birthday and wish you all the best in your life" with a rose photo.. I saw it the followfollowing morning and looked, felt the coldness still, so I deleted the message and moved on. I didn't reply at all. Ever since it has been 7 days now and I still havent written or tried to reach out. She puts status on her what's app and I dont even look at them. She hardly used to put status and lately she puts it but I don't look. My friend also has her number when he checks he says she hasn't put any status so I assume she just wants me to look but I don't... Anyway long story short what will happen now. I am in NC because she said she just wants to stay friends and she still loves me but cannot be with me. Also she won't lose me. So it's all stupid but I decided I will pull away. Do you think I will be successful? Will she ever come back? Because she shares status only on my list expecting me to check which I never do. 7th day and still going this way. Someone please enlighten me. I am new to this NC but so far doing good. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 NC is not about giving somebody the silent treatment & hoping absence makes the heart grow fonder. NC is about you healing by not begging somebody who dumped you to come back. It's about you not debasing yourself. Disappearing on her will not endear her to you. This relationship was never real. Although you managed to meet, you have no plan or ability to close the distance. Without that, this virtual relationship was always doomed to remain virtual. You erred by trying to make it more without a plan to close the distance. If you enjoyed playing the game with her, go back to that. However, if you want a romance stick to somebody local. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 3, 2019 Share Posted October 3, 2019 Stop wasting your time on a fantasy! Date local so you can have a real life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confused_trs Posted October 3, 2019 Author Share Posted October 3, 2019 NC is not about giving somebody the silent treatment & hoping absence makes the heart grow fonder. NC is about you healing by not begging somebody who dumped you to come back. It's about you not debasing yourself. Disappearing on her will not endear her to you. This relationship was never real. Although you managed to meet, you have no plan or ability to close the distance. Without that, this virtual relationship was always doomed to remain virtual. You erred by trying to make it more without a plan to close the distance. If you enjoyed playing the game with her, go back to that. However, if you want a romance stick to somebody local. To be honest the problem is right here. Obviously because of certain issues we couldn't plan to meet as yet.. But finally we was about to meet this month and we spoke about it before the August arguments. But as you see it never happened. Link to post Share on other sites
CharlieDan1995 Posted November 4, 2019 Share Posted November 4, 2019 People see no contact wrong - it's not about giving them the silent treatment and hoping they'll come back/waiting for them to come back. It's about taking them out of YOUR life and growing YOUR life without them, it's about building yourself and making yourself the better person. If they try to recontact you at a later date much longer down the line, then that's a bonus - but NC shouldn't be seen as a tool that is there to get someone back, it's there for yourself and to put yourself in a better place. Link to post Share on other sites
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