Men vs Women with ‘rebounds’

[Lotus_Luna]

I have noticed a trends of men quickly moving from one serious relationship to another. Especially, post divorce where you will see the newly single man proudly display his relationship. While many of the women I know tend to wait to date or don’t. If they do remarry it’s usually after several years.

 

Do you think it’s because men don’t have the emotional support system women do, and are drawn into a new relationship to find it? Or simply looking for connection?

[preraph]

No. I think it's because men prioritize sex and don't want to be without a way to have sex and instead of waiting for a suitable partner, they find sex and worry about that later. I think they often have a backup in place to replace the woman before they leave her.

[Lotus_Luna]

Although traditionally, women are more apt to file for divorce. I do think men often have someone in place when that happens. Or find someone relatively quickly

[carhill]

I have noticed a trends of men quickly moving from one serious relationship to another. Especially, post divorce where you will see the newly single man proudly display his relationship. While many of the women I know tend to wait to date or don’t. If they do remarry it’s usually after several years.

In general that may be the case but demographics can have play as well. In my historical demographic during breeding period, generally teens through 40 or so, women rarely were alone, ever, they went from husband to boyfriend or husband as quickly as one ended another began. That appeared to change post-50 once breeding and child rearing was complete. However, even then, anomalies like my exW occurred, replacing husband with boyfriend immediately. I'd say I'm an anomaly too, not having a LTR since getting divorced a decade ago. Men usually need sex and the cost is dealing with a LTR unless they're really popular and attractive and can bed a lot of women.

 

Do you think it’s because men don’t have the emotional support system women do, and are drawn into a new relationship to find it? Or simply looking for connection?

I've definitely noticed that. What's worse is men don't get support from women or men, though I've seen a bit of a slip on that now being 60+. Men are a bit more supportive. Women of my generation are still pretty much you're a man, buck up deal with it. Even wives. Exceptions, sure. I think my exW expressed it best with 'well what do you want me to do about it anyway?' I still see this with females, even the 'I love you' gushing version. They still want the man to be the rock, don't slip, don't show weakness, don't express pain. It's OK to cry at the funeral of a family member or at a child's wedding. That's allowed

Dealing with that reality, having known thousands of women in my long life, keeps things as they are. They get their rocks, I get my peace. Win-win.

[crispytoast]

It goes both ways. Where I live women are rarely ever single and if they break up with a man it's because they found someone better.

[stillafool]

I notice older men whose wives have died tend to remarry fast (including my father). If they were a good man to their wives they have no problem getting older women to date and marry. I guess because they don't have a lot of years left to just date.

[Gretchen12]

Depends on who left whom. Also depends on age. I noticed some older women divorcing the husband after the kids are grown. Not leaving him for another man, but leaving to live her life. She has been planning the exit for some time. He didn't see it coming. In this case he'd be having the rebounds, not she.

[somanymistakes]

I don't think this is a man/woman thing. I've definitely seen both men and women get into rebound relationships too quickly, and others wait a long time.

[chillii]

Actually, it's fact, stats or whatever other bs you wanna give it, women nearly always monkey branch, especially leaving a marriage.

There, they even have a term for it, what a surprise huh. They rarely leave a marriage without someone holding their hand.

[snowboy91]

Guilty as charged. It was less than a week after my last relationship (6 years!) ended that I first hooked up with my current partner.

 

I never intended to get involved again so quickly. My friends are a decent mix of guys and girls, so when I ended up hanging out with one of the latter as a bit of support, one thing led to another (although she made the first move)... in hindsight it was statistically bound to happen!

 

That being said, she was about 5 weeks out of a 5 year relationship, so we were each other's rebound!

[somanymistakes]

Actually, it's fact, stats or whatever other bs you wanna give it, women nearly always monkey branch, especially leaving a marriage.

 

where by "facts" you mean "my opinion, regardless of whether it aligns with anyone else's reality or not"

 

Some women have new dates lined up before leaving a relationship. Some do not.

 

Some men have new dates lined up before leaving a relationship. Some do not.

 

I mean, if you go by "statistics" more men than women cheat during relationships, allegedly. But while it's a little more common, it's absolutely a thing that BOTH SEXES DO. Not a thing that only men do. Not a thing that only women do. Certainly not a thing that men "nearly always" do.

 

There's a "term" for it because people like to invent little terms for their blog posts. There's terms for lots of things, many of which don't catch on because they're stupid (microcheating, anyone?) or are only used in small communities.

[basil67]

I rebounded quickly after my last marriage. The guy I met (now my partner of 27 years) was a sneaky set-up by mutual friends. He was such a breath of fresh air that I couldn't say No. Amazing sex, great conversations and fun times. Why walk away from this?

[major_merrick]

When my husband and I broke off our first dating relationship, he had someone just a few weeks later (and so did I). I just didn't expect him to get engaged and marry her! I typically went from partner to partner in short order, but I didn't get serious with rebounds. He dislikes being alone, but doesn't do "casual."

 

After his ex-wife filed for divorce, my husband moved away from her and again had another partner (Wife #1) practically before the ink on the divorce decree was dry. And she got pregnant almost immediately. So far, no signs of their relationship slowing down. Same thing with me and my GFs. Rebounds don't always end in disaster, and sometimes you end up rebounding back to an earlier partner.