What Are Some Signs That A Woman Likes You And Doesn't Like You?

[GuitarGuy7]

Since you guys have given me some good advice in the past, I was wondering how do you tell whether or not a girl is interested, or whether or not she's trying to blow you off?

 

 

I know some of the signs a woman is NOT interested, but that's usually only after I ask them out on a date. They're either too busy to meet up, try inviting other people along when I asked them out, or they simply ignore my request. In my experience, most women arne't going to be straight up with you UNLESS you're straight up with them.

 

 

It's also hard to tell whether or not a girl is interested through text. Some will make it obvious by simply not responding to your texts. Other girls will actually respond back and at least answer your questions back, but when it comes time to asking them out, they all of a sudden get flakey. I guess that's usually a sign, lol.

 

 

 

Another thing that's hard is telling whether or not you're talking to a girl and she's actually interested, or she's simply being friendly. I really have no friggin clue! If a girl has a boyfriend, then she's likely just being friendly.

 

 

 

 

Because iv'e never been successful with women, I don't know what actual attraction looks like. I'm just assuming that nearly 99% of women I meet arne't going to be attracted to me, and the few that actually are attracted are the women that I don't want anyways. So I guess i'm going to wind up being a 30 year old virgin.

[Twizzlestick]

Erm. With girls you start from basic baseline. Like you said, the basics, does she message back etc, is she flakey about meeting up.

 

That’s the basic but doesn’t tell you much. In order to gauge interest you have to test it with girls. They don’t (bar a few nice exceptions!) tend to lead the interest in an obvious way. Sometimes they let it slip subtlety and you can pick this up if you know what you’re looking for.

 

What I’d do is if you’re dating/messaging then test the waters. Gently. Don’t go in like a horse. A bit of flirting. On messages turn “friendly” chat into a few flirts. See if she responds in the same way. Same with meeting up on dates. Be flirty if you like her. Maybe a subtle bit of body contact - I don’t mean sexual on the first date ha! I mean like a brush of hand on fingers thing, not weird. You have to kind of make it look like it’s natural. Also smile at her and hold a gaze when talking - but don’t stare like Clint Eastwood. A stare is bad . Be cheeky - but nice flirty with a few of your jokes. Don’t worry about being “too nice”.

 

If you flirt and she flirts back that’s your answer she’s interested at that point. Things you’re looking for are basically what you were trying to do in reverse. Flirty responses, smiles and held gazes. She touches your hand fleetingly. That kind of thing. Stuff that if you were meeting a friend would make you go “that’s a bit weird”.

 

That’s how I’d tell. You can’t tell without casting your line. Like fishing. Sitting talking as a mate won’t nett you much and she’ll prob think you’re not interested or a bit meek.

[normal person]

Just read between the lines. Think about motivations and why someone would do what they do. If a woman likes you, it's usually pretty obvious. It's usually even more obvious if she doesn't.

 

1). Signs she's interested:

 

She initiates the contact and maintains it, often unnecessarily. Including:

 

- You match on Tinder/Bumble and she messages you

- She approaches you at the bar/party either directly or through some more passive means like "bumping into" you, has her friend talk to you for her (usually if she's young)

- She likes/comments on whatever social media you use positively and relatively often

- She finds reasons to be near you, even if trivial

- She initiates contact often

- She looks at you a lot, smiles, etc

- She's open to and enthusiastic about your interactions

- She maintains contact and conversation beyond the point of necessity

 

*** If she doesn't do these things or anything like these things, you have no reason to think she likes you, so stop right there and save yourself the embarrassment.

 

2). Signs she doesn't like you and is just being nice to spare your feelings:

 

- Responds to your communications, but rarely, if ever, initiates contact unless necessary

- She seemingly tolerates your presence but makes little or no effort to engage with you

- She didn't offer her phone number for non-practical purposes (school project, work), you either asked for it or acquired some other way

 

*** Unless there's a noticeable, often frequent and sustained interest in you initiated by her as in the category above, then it's safe to assume the "interest" in you or your life that you see from her is feigned, merely tactful or reciprocal, not deep or possibly not even genuine. Don't be fooled into thinking that just because she responded to you, or asked you a question, that she's interested in you. She's just being nice and trying to manage the situation the best she can or prevent you from doing something terrible.

 

3). Signs she doesn't like you and can't be bothered to care about your feelings because you mean nothing to her:

 

- General ambivalence to you at best

- Little to no effort maintaining a relationship of any sort (working, friendship, school, etc)

- Expresses no interest you or your life whatsoever

 

*** Most people you don't know or barely know will fall into this category

 

4). Signs she actively dislikes you and wishes you would leave her alone, or she can no longer continue to facade of sparing your feelings because you've crossed a line and it's now start to affect her:

 

- Ignores you outright

- Avoids you

- Pretends you aren't there, pretends not to see you

- Doesn't want to be associated with you, or anyone else associated with you

- Controls or rallies people against you

- Etc

 

 

 

The big takeaway is if she likes you, she'll let you know in relatively obvious ways. If she doesn't do things or some semblance of them, she doesn't like you, so don't ask her out.

Edited October 4, 2019 by normal person

[alphamale]

dude I started a thread about a month ago that was a listing of top 20 ways women show they like you. find it, read it...

[mr_ybor]

If she looks at you like she accidentally walked into the special bathroom they make those with the plague use and all the toilets were backed up, yeah... she probably isn't into you. At least that's how I'd describe the look I got when I smiled at my gym crush as she walked by the elliptical I was working out on.

 

Feels bad, man.

[mark clemson]

It's true, some women get a lot of unwanted chasing, so if they're not interested they can get a little mean. For example wrinkling their mouth in a brief look of "disgust". This is why it's better to wait for a signal they're interested.

 

Here's the link to the thread Alphamale mentioned:

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/water-cooler/690489-20-signs-girl-likes-you

 

It can be a pretty fine line with female attraction, at least for me. I was actually in a bar the other day (for social purposes) and wearing a 2nd shirt over a t-shirt while waiting for the people I was to meet with. No signs of interest from any women. At some point I took of the 2nd shirt and rather quickly got some brief glances and within 3 minutes a woman came up and introduced herself to me.

[mr_ybor]

It's true, some women get a lot of unwanted chasing, so if they're not interested they can get a little mean.

 

Man, is that really necessary? Someone thinks you're attractive to them, settle down. Just ignore me. That's fine. Kicking my ego in the balls is really over the top.

 

Not that that happens all that much. The above example was just one that stood out.

[Envy123]

 

The big takeaway is if she likes you, she'll let you know in relatively obvious ways. If she doesn't do things or some semblance of them, she doesn't like you, so don't ask her out.

 

What about if a girl does want to be friends with you and nothing more?

 

I don't think my best friend back at secondary school fancied me, even though she was initiating a lot of the contact and gave me her number.

[Foxhall]

I find women around my age ( late 30s lol) are pretty straight up, they will make it quite clear if they are interested,

 

such as they will text frequently, be keen to include me in their plans for weekend and so on if they are interested,

 

I guess that holds true for all ages, "a woman will make it clear if they are interested in you"

pretty much the BS is gone though once they get into their 30s,(feel free to disagree on that!!)

 

your age group early 20s is it, they are a slightly different breed perhaps,

 

they may enjoy playing games more, hard to get and all that,

 

and they may seek their friends approval more so before deciding to hook up with a particular guy,

 

they perhaps dont have that confidence yet to make these decisions on their own, they need the group approval,vote of confidence as it were,

 

that last reason is probably another strong reason why the likes of you finds hooking up with women difficult,

 

anyway as I said before keep plugging away it will get better

[basil67]

Man, is that really necessary? Someone thinks you're attractive to them, settle down. Just ignore me. That's fine. Kicking my ego in the balls is really over the top.

 

It wasn't about you or your ego. It was about how a attractive women can get tired of being hit on and as a result can be snippy to any guy.

[mr_ybor]

your age group early 20s is it, they are a slightly different breed perhaps,

 

I pretty much only get hit on my women in their twenties. There's varying levels of subtilty, but nothing too cryptic (or maybe I write of the lighter, flirty-esqe stuff as not interested). Had one girl (26) about one step from mounting me.

 

Online, they're awful, though. It's like they match you then talk like they're not interested. You swiped me, hon!

[basil67]

dude I started a thread about a month ago that was a listing of top 20 ways women show they like you. find it, read it...

 

And don't take it too seriously. As a woman, I found the list alarming.

[mark clemson]

It wasn't about you or your ego. It was about how a attractive women can get tired of being hit on and as a result can be snippy to any guy.

 

Yeah I think it's a matter of way too much of a good thing for some of them, so they just lose patience with it, Mr. Ybor. Some men (not you) will keep badgering until a very clear sign is provided, so they just start off with that.

[mr_ybor]

It wasn't about you or your ego. It was about how a attractive women can get tired of being hit on and as a result can be snippy to any guy.

 

I'm sure Ms. Jennifer Lawrence lookalike did get her share of aggressive suitors, but that wasn't the sitch. I looked and smiled at her, from atop an elliptical, with my earbuds in, while she walked by. No one was hitting on anyone. Calling it gauging interest would have been a stretch. Not giving her dumpster face would be a more apt description. Like I said, she coulda not made eye contact and ignored me.

Edited October 4, 2019 by mr_ybor

[normal person]

What about if a girl does want to be friends with you and nothing more?

 

I don't think my best friend back at secondary school fancied me, even though she was initiating a lot of the contact and gave me her number.

 

I'm too old for the age where people developed or initiated their friendships online, and every 12 year old had a cellphone. I'm sure there are plenty of layers of nuance to that that I don't know, but if you're only interested in the person platonically yourself then there shouldn't be an issue of misreading it. But in my experience post college, an opposite sex member that wants to be your "friend" usually wants to be more than that, and running everything under the guise of "friendship" is a defense mechanism or an obvious misnomer.

[basil67]

I'm sure Ms. Jennifer Lawrence lookalike did get her share of aggressive suitors, but that wasn't the sitch. I

 

How often do you smile at male PTs as they walk past?

Edited October 7, 2019 by basil67

[The Outlaw]

If she goes out of her way to act like you don't even exist, she doesn't like you. I'm getting the cold shoulder from one like that now. But by the same token, I don't like her.

[preraph]

It's simple: When a woman likes you, she acts like she likes you. It's nothing mysterious. There's no magic clue. She voluntarily comes around and talks to you and smiles at you (work mates don't count).

[snowboy91]

Any sort of disinterest (sounding bored, short responses, not initiating conversation) suggests a woman doesn't like you.

 

The opposite of the above suggests she does like you, but could just be friendly. Extra enthusiasm and close body language could perhaps suggest she wants more, but may also be just really friendly. Context is key.

[Envy123]

but if you're only interested in the person platonically yourself then there shouldn't be an issue of misreading it.

 

Yeah, I never fancied my secondary school best friend. There seems to be a possibility that she fancied/still fancies me, but on the other side, maybe I shouldn't worry as we're still friends.

 

But in my experience post college, an opposite sex member that wants to be your "friend" usually wants to be more than that, and running everything under the guise of "friendship" is a defense mechanism or an obvious misnomer.

 

But what is worrying is what my ex-coworker did, back in a previous retail job. And that is exactly what you described.

 

She initiated all contact and I thought at first that she was just being friendly. But later on, I realised that I am the only guy who she was giving all of the attention to. Add to that, the flirting and calling me "adorable" and I knew she fancied me.

 

But I didn't fancy her back and I continued treating her as a friend. All was well until I had to leave and I wanted to keep in touch with her. Once I friendzoned her, she dropped me like a hot potato and refused to speak to me again.

 

It's worrying because I like being friends with certain women - I actually mostly get along more with women than with men. But I dislike it if someone just goes into a "friendship" with me, specifically so they can try and get into my pants and they are not actually interested in anything else.

[elaine567]

There are some women that play the "I hate you" game They really mean "I like you a lot", but sussing that out is for experts.

There are also some women who are interested but are shy and who give off disinterested or even bad vibes, but again sussing that out is for experts.

You need to be able to pick up normal "i like you" clues from straightforward and interested women.

 

Problem is a lot of women can make a special effort to be friendly to "guys who are not good with women" because they feel sorry for them, or they feel they can be themselves around them. There no need to "impress", as they are not considered potential lover material...

It is these "friendly" women that can confuse guys into thinking there is interest when there is actually none.

[ZA Dater]

Problem is a lot of women can make a special effort to be friendly to "guys who are not good with women" because they feel sorry for them

It is these "friendly" women that can confuse guys into thinking there is interest when there is actually none.

 

After rejection this is the biggest problem for guys who struggle at dating. I have been on the receiving end of this fairly often to the point where truthfully I wouldn't know if anyone was interested in me because friendly is as friendly does.

 

OP I don't know the answer to your question because at 35 I am still trying to figure out if ANYONE has ever been attracted to me, reading the posts here it seems unlikely at best.

 

How do you show women you like them? That's perhaps a good place to start because again I have no clue how to do that either beyond being kind and taking an interest in them.

Edited October 8, 2019 by ZA Dater

[mr_ybor]

How often do you smile at male PTs as they walk past?

 

I don't know what a PT(?) is, but I'll generally nod and/smile and say something like "Hows it going?" if someone else is coming or going in the gym. Why?

[mark clemson]

Think she meant Personal Trainer?

[mr_ybor]

Think she meant Personal Trainer?

 

Sure, I guess. I just go to my apartment gym these days. There aren't personal trainers there, just people working out. Not sure what they have anything to do with anything.