schlumpy Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 Wouldn't the difference be debt incurred before marriage versus debt incurred after marriage with the later being shared debt? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 1, 2020 Author Share Posted February 1, 2020 2 hours ago, schlumpy said: Wouldn't the difference be debt incurred before marriage versus debt incurred after marriage with the later being shared debt? Most of the debt that is there is from going to Disney world in august. Between the savings and tax return there would have been enough to cover it but of course now my daily credit card had went up and she has also went on a bit of a spending spree... Ive been paying bills but anyway she has pretty much blown through the savings account or as she put it "there wont be much to split when this is over". After everything is said and done I will still have alot of debt to pay and low income.. The tax returns every year are about 10k but because I am on workers comp I dont file a tax return if I am by myself which means she will get it all. Im trying to figure out if there is a way to split it over the years and then of course when I go back to work we can go back and forth who claims the kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 2, 2020 Author Share Posted February 2, 2020 Well Packed her things made quite the mess in the process but its done... she wanted to come tomorrow and do it and now she's pissed ... I'm ridiculous, degrading, disrespectful, she never did anything to make me act like this... I had spoken to my son about coming over tomorrow just him for a bit so i could spend some time with him here just me and him.. Apparently he's only allowed over when she's here and not alone. The one with the broken leg, she is refusing to let him come here by himself until his leg is healed which to me is ridiculous. I can go there and spend time with him there which I do but when I asked for him to come over after school for a bit and she's telling me he's not allowed here alone until he's healed. After school I carry him into the car and then carry him to his wheelchair at his grandmothers house. At my house i would just put him on the couch which reclines I dont see what the issue is! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 2, 2020 Author Share Posted February 2, 2020 And I dont give a s*** about her feelings Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 7 hours ago, Ias61489 said: And I dont give a s*** about her feelings It's not the same thing as being in a happy place but righteous anger can certainly offer the same protections as long as it controlled. Use it to reinforce your will power and as an armor to deflect her emotional manipulation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 2, 2020 Author Share Posted February 2, 2020 2 hours ago, schlumpy said: It's not the same thing as being in a happy place but righteous anger can certainly offer the same protections as long as it controlled. Use it to reinforce your will power and as an armor to deflect her emotional manipulation. That should have been a quote.. she said i don't give a s*** about her feelings. But yes either way I don't care I just wanted to do it and get it over with. lots to clean up now as i wa digging through stuff to get her stuff and find to all. Ive ruffled her feathers, Once my lawyer gets involved it should get even more interesting. I will admit packing her stuff was hard thing for me to do. She said she's insists on coming in to check and make sure everything is there and I said no she can check later and we can go from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 3, 2020 Author Share Posted February 3, 2020 Well she wasn't mad for long... Asked me to please bring some boxes to her house when I go and drop off my sons backpack.. Said its easier... Figures. Its easier because until the repo man comes my suv is bigger with more trunk space. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 27 minutes ago, S2B said: And you are allowed to say NO stop making it easy for her to use you. I just didn't respond. The Not letting my son come here alone thing has gotten me pretty heated tbh. It doesn't make any sense besides a control move. I can understand before he was able to be lifted up by use me but not now since I can lift him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 8, 2020 Author Share Posted February 8, 2020 Well she got her stuff today and was very nice to me.. We joked around we laughed and she left. Of course there is more stuff buried in storage but that will be a springtime thing. It was harder packing it then it was watching it leave. She kept her word and brought my 8 year over, so he's chillin on the reclining couch. We are all excited he's over and if I really think about it the only reason she brought him over today is so she can have some time to herself at her new place. The kid are very excited about the new place and moldiest said that a friend from school lives there so he cant wait to play with him.... Yes it makes me feel bad since I know she's gonna have to leave at some point and yes it sucks but they kids will get over it and in the end its not their fault or mine. Oh well. I have figured out what to do about getting another car. I have hoarded every dollar I can and continue to do so instead of putting it all on credit cards so the balance stays low. Gonna buy whatever I can for cash, hopefully before my next payment on this car. My lawyer has sent out the response to the complaint. She took a small retainer from me and said if my wife sticks to her guns she will need more but for now she's gonna see what she can do. On a side note the mediator I had reached out too before called me again to see how things were working out (she was very nice and gave me alot of info) I explained my wife wont do it because I wont agree to no child support. During the conversation she asked me who the lawyers were. My wifes lawyer who has been a lawyer for 27 years in this area she didn't know but mine she quickly said "oh she's very good". I found that interesting and hopefully thats a good sign. My wife refuses to talk to me about the tax return and a joint loan we have that has about 2k left on it until she talks to her lawyer. Gonna be an interesting couple weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 2 hours ago, Ias61489 said: My wife refuses to talk to me about the tax return and a joint loan we have that has about 2k left on it until she talks to her lawyer. Gonna be an interesting couple weeks. How do you think she is going to afford her new residence if she shares that with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 8, 2020 Author Share Posted February 8, 2020 23 minutes ago, schlumpy said: How do you think she is going to afford her new residence if she shares that with you? Yeah well to bad for her. She blew through all the savings... well according to her anyway and she doesn't seem to wanna share anything else. I got her to give me some money towards the car insurance which was so nice of her!!! not. She will be getting all the tax returns until I work since I don't file under workers comp. So at least 10k a year. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 9, 2020 Share Posted February 9, 2020 Both of you will have to work more. A lot of people work extra. It's not the end of the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 Nothing new really has of yet besides asking me for stuff still. Vaccum, mixing bowls etc etc complaining that I get to keep the nice pots and pans and all this expensive stuff and she doesn't get any of it.... I haven't given her anything. Her stuff is out of the house for the most part and she's moved into her new place which I have one to find out is a 1 bedroom with an extra loft area that she turned into a play area for the kids at a price tag of $1500 a month. Today she stated she had some financial documents at her lawyer office and needs me to provide her with the taxes from last year. I will be calling my layer first before I do that. On the plus side I did pick up a used Toyota 4runner so I can get rid of my car payment. Needs a little work but its clean and from the original owner plus low miles for the year. Now just gotta figure out how to get rid of the other one! My response has been signed and sent to her lawyer so not sure how long it takes once they get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Share Posted February 21, 2020 Oh and Ill add while she's asking me for all this stuff stilll saying she can't afford to buy new stuff she has a new MK bag, got a $50 piece of wall art off amazon (we share the account) and keeps buying the kids new toys and stuff. They like to tell me about the stuff of course lol When she saw my other car in the driveway she asked me when I'm getting rid of my Pilot so it can be off her credit report so I asked her to refinance hers so it can be off mine and she said she cant right now because she has a bunch of medical debt from the kids on there and it dropped her credit, so until she clears that up she cant... Since I set up the account on experian for her I checked and she has 2 past due medical bills to the tune of $190 one of which she already paid off. Her credit cards are nearly maxed out which is why the credit took a hit aswell. Went from 715 in august when we were together and barely any debt to 624. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 Why are you still talking to her about this stuff? I suggest you embrace the phrase "talk to the hand, cos the face ain't listening" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted February 25, 2020 Author Share Posted February 25, 2020 22 hours ago, PegNosePete said: Why are you still talking to her about this stuff? I suggest you embrace the phrase "talk to the hand, cos the face ain't listening" In terms of wanting stuff I don't respond, In terms of the car thing I just said eventually and that was it. This was just in the few min while getting kids out of the car. She still asks about things she wants I just ignore her. Speaking of communication and what not.... I'm a bit of a nerd for Jurassic park, Back to the future, Ghostbusters etc etc.... Anyway She's nice when about kids (most of the time) can be nasty about most other things, sorta nice in person but its always quick interactions just hand offs of children really. Yesterday she texted me out of nowhere she was at walmart with the kids. Sent me a picture of the Ghostbusters car. Its a kit to build it. Was $45 on clearance for half that. She asked if I wanted it ( of course i did lol) So she got it for me and I transferred the money to her. Of course I said yes for it but just confuses me why she would be nice and do that idk... Just venting something that has been floating around my head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted March 3, 2020 Author Share Posted March 3, 2020 So if anyone has read this you know that about 6 months prior to my wife leaving I found out she was having what I would call an emotional affair with someone in the union for her job. He's almost 70 and my wife just turned 30 so I didn't think anything was going on sexual but like an idiot I tried to understand but I still let her know how I felt about to which she said its just s friendship and it doesn't matter that she didn't tell me etc etc.. Anyway today I picked my son up from school (broken leg so in a wheelchair currently) and his mom picked up our daughter. I met hers she could take him to a dentist appt and we were chatting while we waited for her.. He was telling me about how they went to the diner and an ice cream place with mommies friend from work (he didn't remember the name) he said it was the second time they went out with him. I called out some names because I was curious who it was and of course it was the guy that she had the EA with. I texted her after just to see what she would say and of course got defensive and just said a friend helping her with something. Turns out he drove an hour from his home to meet her other drs office so he could sit with the kids and watch them while she went in then they ate and had the ice cream and according to her the last time he just wanted to join them for ice cream. I got kinda heated about this really for many reasons and still am.... Curious what other peoples take on it is Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted March 3, 2020 Author Share Posted March 3, 2020 Maybe I'm wrong to feel mad by this idk Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 You're not wrong to feel mad. You are reacting to the knowledge that this is most likely more than an EA when you had convinced yourself it was just an EA because of their difference in age (I believe.) Unfortunately, it is a delayed reaction to events that are already water under the bridge. She moved out and is moving on with her life. Your only contact with her now should be for the benefit of your children. Otherwise, no contact whatsoever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ias61489 Posted March 4, 2020 Author Share Posted March 4, 2020 5 hours ago, vla1120 said: You're not wrong to feel mad. You are reacting to the knowledge that this is most likely more than an EA when you had convinced yourself it was just an EA because of their difference in age (I believe.) Unfortunately, it is a delayed reaction to events that are already water under the bridge. She moved out and is moving on with her life. Your only contact with her now should be for the benefit of your children. Otherwise, no contact whatsoever. Yes I was mad about that... and yes i had thoughts about contacting the guys wife which wouldn't be a good idea I know. What is really getting to me is that they were left alone with this person for any length of time when they dont know him. I dont care that it is a dr office. Link to post Share on other sites
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