mortensorchid Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 I am feeling rather bad these days. I have, like I have said in the past, been hurt by many people from my past. I have put a shield up around myself, I present myself as being like a blank slate to others. I trace some of it back to when I was in high school - I went to an all girls' high school full of miserable mean girls. When I attempted to seek friends and acceptance among them, I was stabbed in the back and told you're not welcome here. I also found out during this time that I don't do well with women as friends because they think I am trying to take something from them. I learned this again while on the job and in college. Just recently I was ripped to shreds by another woman - obviously jealous of me. (She attempted to apologize to me, I told her to go f*** herself and never talk to me again.) I decided that the best thing to do from now on is to just say as silent as possible and never talk to people, only if necessary. It's my blank slate approach. I only talk to people in public if I need something like directions to the bathroom. It's lonely, but loneliness is a better alternative to other things as I can see. Others are so critical and narcissistic. I feel like I can't trust others even for the most trivial of things. I am my own best friend, I do what I like and don't bother with others because they don't want to do things I find exciting. Does anyone feel like this ever? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 You are the common denominator, MO. Most people are not out to destroy you or reject your friendship. If this keeps happening to you over and over, I think you need to ask why and if you're presenting yourself wrong. Your intentional standoffishness is a good start.... Just this afternoon I met a brand new person out of the blue and sat talking with her, some with personal detail, for a good hour. It was in a place where I could have completely ignored her, but since the two of us were the only ones there, I decided to sit next to her and become friends. There is no harm in this! I have no fear she's going to stab me in the back or that she's jealous of me, or whatever. What is it you're doing to elicit such a response? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 I agree that you are the common denominator here. The situations you find yourself in are not things that others experience on a regular basis. Most of us have friendships which are give and take. We don't think people are trying to take things from us. And honestly, people who tear shreds from us do so because we've done something to make them angry - it's NEVER about jealousy. What happened before she tore shreds off you? If you keep shutting yourself down, there won't be any romance on the cards for you. The loneliness and isolation will just get worse. What does your therapist have to say about how you're feeling? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 A lot of people feel alienated from the rest of the world because they are somehow setting themselves up for failure. If you ever wanted some honest feedback from people who you actually meet and get to know, you should considering finding a therapist who can recommend a good group therapy. Think about it. They're no one you know. You could be anonymous and never see them again, but they could read your behavior and let you know what is going on. The other thing you could do is go on Google and search for counseling group workshop or psychology group workshop and find one in your area. A lot of colleges have things like that, but only for students, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 It's lonely... What about the new guy you've been dating?? How are things going with him?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 5, 2019 Share Posted October 5, 2019 If you ever wanted some honest feedback from people who you actually meet and get to know, you should considering finding a therapist who can recommend a good group therapy. Think about it. They're no one you know. You could be anonymous and never see them again, but they could read your behavior and let you know what is going on. Great idea! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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