kendahke Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 It wasnt very clear in which way you meant it. Atleast not to me What part of it can't you understand? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 I didnt know if you meant that seeing the children and spending time with them and her would bring them back together or if you thought that she would use the children as a way of getting him back Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 (edited) @Lucyjane86.... Here is what I mean--and. it's. exactly. what. I. mean.: Yes, spending time with his family is going to bring them back together because it's going to feel right to all concerned--him, his gf/mother of his children and their children. If he had absolutely no care for her, those children could not bring them together--he'd make sure there was a wall built to prevent that happening. I've seen that dynamic play out. When an adult is well and truly done, they act like it in all ways in their life. That's all the explanation I will give for free. Edited October 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 Why would they make sure to have a wall up to prevent it? If they didnt feel anything sure there would be no need to try and prevent anything as it just wouldnt happen. And so the fact that they get along still, enough that they can spend the day taking the children out together means that he doesnt have that wall up? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 If he didn't want to get back with her he would not talk to her, he would not make plans to vacation together, he would not suggest they take 1 hotel room only. Not talking to her = a wall Refusing to vacation with her and the kids = a wall Refusing to sleep in the same bedroom = a wall This guy has no walls up, not only he accepts this vacationing together but he's the one suggesting they all sleep in 1 room. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 What if its that he only talks to her in response to her talking to him first. As in he just replies but never initiates contact? And that he doesnt plan on following through with the plans to go away. Does the fact he replies and atleast leads her to believe they are going mean he has no wall up? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 He has no walls up. No matter how you turn it around, he has no walls up. Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 You're so anally fixated on him and his ex when he's probably already boinking someone new. Im not convinced he's wanting to get back with her, tho I think he's liking his little family there. Probably looking for a new side chick to go along with his little family. What a perfect little life. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 Youre that sure itll happen? Yes. That is generally what "without a doubt" means. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggiemay1 Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 Lucy, The guy does NOT want a relationship with you , has zero respect for you neither as a person nor his manager. And that is ALL you need to know. Whatever happens with the mother of his children is absolutely NONE of your business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 (edited) @Maggiemay1... I know but thats not what or why i asked. And i dont want one with him either Edited October 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 All you need to know is that a guy recently split up with an ex close by and with very young children does not make a good bf. Too much baggage. Relationships are hard enough between two single people, without taking on a ready made family and an ex unwilling to let go... Leave parents to date other parents, they understand each other way better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 (edited) All you need to know is that a guy recently split up with an ex close by and with very young children does not make a good bf./QUOTE] You think his ex would definitely have proved to be a problem if i had carried on with the relationship? Because she wont let go? Or because he hasnt let go? Edited October 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 It was longer than 2 weeks. It was a couple of months in all. It was just only official for 2 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 I dont want to. And im not going to. From what im hearing now they were happy together right up until he ended things even though he said that he had been feeling like it was over for sometime. Unless he was lying to her when telling her how deep in love with her he was. Apparently he was heard on the phone saying he couldnt wait for their future together and how much in love with her he was and how he would love another baby with her and how much he missed her. This was only a week or 2 before he ended things with her apparently. I cant see that you would go into that much detail if you didnt actually feel that way anymore. And if that was that close to the split then thats not even 2 months ago he was saying all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 For one you asked if his ex (actually current gf, fiancée, mother of his kids) would pose a threat to your non existent “relationship” That is contradictory to you saying you ended “it” whatever it was with him. As a manager , I’m guessing you can roster him on opposite shifts? She is still his ex. I did end things i was just asking if people thought she would have posed a threat had i not have ended things already. And im not his manager. Im a bar manager. He works in the kitchen Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 This man of 25 is not mature and responsible enough to take care of a cat and here he is wanting baby number 3!! As far as I am concern they never broke up! It was all dust in the eyes to play you. I know you say you don't want him back but I don't beleive 1 bit of it. All your questions are meant to find a crack so you can go back in! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 No im just trying to work out what is and was going on. Im not going back there at all. And they definitely did break up. I saw the messages, him telling her it was over and her asking why and if there was nothing they could do to resolve things. Then she jept asking to meet up and he refused saying it wouldnt help either of them. Then once the met up, we became official and the had no contact for the next 2 weeks. They have only just started talking again this week Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 It was a fight, some couple through the 'it's over' left and right without meaning it. Why do you care about them and their business? Do you do the same for your neighbor's problems? * You and him would not have lasted. * Yes he's back with her. * You stood no chances against her. * He will cheat on her again but he'll always go back to her. * Your 2 months together is meaningles compared to them being parents together. * Yes he will bring her back to work * He had a fling with you because he's a cheating liar. I think that's sums it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 But they werent fighting? As far as i know she came home thinking everything was fine and he told her they were over. Because of me. The text i saw said something along the lines of him falling out of love with her and that they were over but you never know what the future holds Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 From what im hearing now they were happy together right up until he ended things even though he said that he had been feeling like it was over for sometime. Unless he was lying to her when telling her how deep in love with her he was. Apparently he was heard on the phone saying he couldnt wait for their future together and how much in love with her he was and how he would love another baby with her and how much he missed her. This was only a week or 2 before he ended things with her apparently. I cant see that you would go into that much detail if you didnt actually feel that way anymore. And if that was that close to the split then thats not even 2 months ago he was saying all that. Who is feeding you this information? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 People at work that know them both. More him because theyre work mates but they know her too Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 People at work that know them both. More him because theyre work mates but they know her too Tell them to stop. It's not helping you let go; quite the opposite, actually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 12, 2019 Author Share Posted October 12, 2019 Theyre saying now that him and his ex have been through loads together before they even got together, him getting with other girls, him having problems with alcohol and money, his anger issues and his depression and anxiety, the pregnancy, which apparently he told her to abort or she'd never see or hear from him again, and even through everything, no matter whats happened between them, he always finds his way back to her Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2019 Share Posted October 12, 2019 I don't think we can offer you any more help or advice, Lucy. You're spinning in circles here and becoming your own worst enemy. Link to post Share on other sites
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