Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 This has been answered several times in this thread already. But that was before he told her about us. Hes also now told her hes not sure them staying is a good idea because he doesnt know where theyre all going to sleep Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 And evidently, virtually nobody's opinion has changed. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 But that was before he told her about us. Hes also now told her hes not sure them staying is a good idea because he doesnt know where theyre all going to sleep I don't know what it is that you want to hear but you are certainly not listening to anything anyone has been saying for 20+ pages now. You've asked the same questions multiple times and people have given you the same answers multiple times. Him telling her he's seeing someone does not change the dynamic between them. They have babies. They will always have a connection and will spend allot of time together. He will always have feelings for her and will very likely end up back with her somewhere down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 (edited) And evidently, virtually nobody's opinion has changed. I just dont see why everyones so sure theyre going to get back together. Hes told her about us and also told her they cant stay at the weekend now. Although im wondering if thats because he doesnt trust himself around her. She said she'd sleep with one of the children. And asked if her trusted her. To which he said he did. So maybe its himself he doesnt trust? Or maybe he just knows it makes me uncomfortable? Edited October 17, 2019 by Lucyjane86 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 He didn't tell her WHO he was seeing and he never will. All she knows is that he is seeing someone. He's still keeping you a secret. Why can't you see that this guy is using you? He will always be playing happy families with her. You will never be his priority. I think Maddie is dead on with this one. If you are the future then he doesn't tell her about you - he introduces you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 I think Maddie is dead on with this one. If you are the future then he doesn't tell her about you - he introduces you. Even after only 2 months? Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Although im wondering if thats because he doesnt trust himself around her. This is exactly right. And asked if he trusted her. To which he said he did. So maybe its himself he doesnt trust? Or maybe he just knows it makes me uncomfortable? It's not about you. He wasn't thinking about you when this was arranged in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 My gawd, 21 pages of the same questions over and over and over again only for the OP to take him back. OP at this point, since you trusted him enough to go back into this mess why don't you ask him these questions? Isn't he the one with the answers? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 I think Maddie is dead on with this one. If you are the future then he doesn't tell her about you - he introduces you. Absolutely! When a man with kids has a new gf he introduces her to his baby's mother because the child will eventually be in the new woman's presence and the mother will want to meet her first. If he hasn't introduced you to her but told you he told her about you, he is probably lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Absolutely! When a man with kids has a new gf he introduces her to his baby's mother because the child will eventually be in the new woman's presence and the mother will want to meet her first. If he hasn't introduced you to her but told you he told her about you, he is probably lying. He has definitely told her. I saw text. She asked him if he was open to talking about trying to fix things and he said there was nothing to talk about because he was seeing someone but that he still wanted to be in the childrens lives Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 My gawd, 21 pages of the same questions over and over and over again only for the OP to take him back. OP at this point, since you trusted him enough to go back into this mess why don't you ask him these questions? Isn't he the one with the answers? I took him back because he said he would tell her about us and he did. Surely him telling her that hes with someone new must mean something? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 I took him back because he said he would tell her about us and he did. Surely him telling her that hes with someone new must mean something? You are not wrong to believe that it means something. What it means to me is that he carefully balancing himself on a tightrope between your and her, only doing the minimum to keep his balance. You, on the other hand, see his proclamation as a full step towards your end of the rope. If you can accept that then carry on. Things will either go your way- or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 You are not wrong to believe that it means something. What it means to me is that he carefully balancing himself on a tightrope between your and her, only doing the minimum to keep his balance. How do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 I took him back because he said he would tell her about us and he did. Surely him telling her that hes with someone new must mean something? Nope. Means nothing. Only reason he told her he is seeing someone was to probably make her jealous, to get a reaction from her, and he did. If he saw a future with you he would've introduced you to her. But he didn't, because you are still a secret. He will never tell her who you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Nope. Means nothing. Only reason he told her he is seeing someone was to probably make her jealous, to get a reaction from her, and he did. If he saw a future with you he would've introduced you to her. But he didn't, because you are still a secret. He will never tell her who you are. Why would he need to make her jealous and get a reaction from her when she was trying to get him to get back together? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 He has definitely told her. I saw text. She asked him if he was open to talking about trying to fix things and he said there was nothing to talk about because he was seeing someone but that he still wanted to be in the childrens lives I took him back because he said he would tell her about us and he did. Surely him telling her that hes with someone new must mean something? Well if all the above is true why do continue to ask the same questions over and over? Why did you take him back if these questions were not answered by him before you agreed to go back to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Well if all the above is true why do continue to ask the same questions over and over? Why did you take him back if these questions were not answered by him before you agreed to go back to him? Because since then he has started talking to her daily, laughing and joking like friends and putting xx on the end of his texts to her. And because everyone on here still seems to think that even though hes told her he doesnt want to get back together because hes with someone that that doesnt actually mean anything and he probably still will go back to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Why would he need to make her jealous and get a reaction from her when she was trying to get him to get back together? Because his heart truly belongs to her. Not you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Because his heart truly belongs to her. Not you. So then why wouldnt he just get back with her when she asked? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Because since then he has started talking to her daily, laughing and joking like friends and putting xx on the end of his texts to her. And.....you're still with him????? Why didn't you break up again? Don't you realize he is disrespecting you? I think you're like 8 years older than him. Do you really need this in your life? Why do you need a younger man with 2 kids and a baby momma that he is sure to go back with? He more than likely broke up with her when she didn't come back home sooner when he asked her to. He probably missed them so much and when she didn't rush back he threw a tantrum and broke up with her. He probably didn't mean it. It's damn near impossible to come between him and his little family especially if he wants another baby with her. They are going to end up together. I swear Stevie Wonder can see this, why can't you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 So then why wouldnt he just get back with her when she asked? He will, give it time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 And.....you're still with him????? Why didn't you break up again? Don't you realize he is disrespecting you? I think you're like 8 years older than him. Do you really need this in your life? Why do you need a younger man with 2 kids and a baby momma that he is sure to go back with? He more than likely broke up with her when she didn't come back home sooner when he asked her to. He probably missed them so much and when she didn't rush back he threw a tantrum and broke up with her. He probably didn't mean it. It's damn near impossible to come between him and his little family especially if he wants another baby with her. They are going to end up together. I swear Stevie Wonder can see this, why can't you? Im younger than him. Im 22 hes 25. Im assuming since they broke up because he said he didnt love her anymore that he doesnt want another baby anymore. Not with her atleast. And if it was just that he threw a tantrum why would he not have got back with her by now. Its been 2 months? Instead hes telling her he doesnt want to get back together because hes with someone else Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Probably to punish her for not coming back when he wanted.......but.....again, if you have an excuse for his every action and word what do you need LS for? You've already decided to hang in there to the bitter end. There's nothing new to learn here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Probably to punish her for not coming back when he wanted.......but.....again, if you have an excuse for his every action and word what do you need LS for? You've already decided to hang in there to the bitter end. There's nothing new to learn here. Its not that i have an excuse. Im genuinely confused. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Instead hes telling her he doesnt want to get back together because hes with someone else Until he gets tired of you or the newness wears off from the hot new body he has found. Then the grass won't look greener any longer. He can afford to take his time because she made the mistake of telling him that she will be his plan B when he's tired of you. If she had him served and went for full custody of the kids you would become a ghost. Link to post Share on other sites
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