Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) They werent really, it was more her. She was asking him questions about remembering certain things from different times. He mostly said no, that his memory was bad, she would then explain or remind him, or he would agree that the time she was talking about was a good night. But he didnt really say a whole lot Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
PinkElephants Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Im genuinely confused. I think you're confused because what you want to see doesn't match up with what you're seeing. You want to see that he respects you but he's reminiscing about his sex life with his ex. You want to be acknowledged in public but you're a secret. You want to be a priority but he'd rather to text her. You want to feel secure but you have to sink to snooping because he's a liar. You want to be cherished but he hasn't even taken you on a real date. You're doing some impressive mental gymnastics to make "disrespect" + "discussing sex with another woman" = "he loves you" and when you can't make the math work you come here seeking reassurance. All over a 2 month secret fling with no commitment; why? You're really want to be with a liar who flirts with his ex that badly? Honestly I think this is about the competition for you. You've decided you need to "win" and nothing anyone says is going to talk you out of it because you simply don't want to hear it. You come online and talk in circles because it feels productive and it gives the illusion of doing something but you're not going to change direction. You're clearly in this for the long haul so buy a good moisturizer because this stress is going to age you well before your time. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) I think you're confused because what you want to see doesn't match up with what you're seeing. You want to see that he respects you but he's reminiscing about his sex life with his ex. You want to be acknowledged in public but you're a secret. You want to be a priority but he'd rather to text her. You want to be cherished but he hasn't even taken you on a real date. But thats the thing. He does acknowledge me in public and take me places now. And he told her the other day that he couldnt see the children because he was working but he was with me. That was before he actually told her about me. And it wasnt really him reminiscing. It was more her. And i think he was trying to keep her sweet so as to ask her for money Edited October 18, 2019 by Lucyjane86 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Firstly, Why is he asking her for money? He should be giving her money for the children. You are desperately trying to find logical reasons to everything he says and does but the truth is, there are none. Bottom line is that he still has feelings for her (very likely still in love with her). They text all the time, they flirt and talk about their sex life (don't kid yourself that it's all her because it's not and you know it). He didn't have to respond. He could've just ignored it, but he didn't. He agreed with her that their sex life was good. You need to take the rose colored glasses off and see what is really going on. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 He does acknowledge me in public and take me places now. And he told her the other day that he couldnt see the children because he was working but he was with me. He is lying to her and ducking out of seeing his children and that is a good thing??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 Firstly, Why is he asking her for money? He should be giving her money for the children. You are desperately trying to find logical reasons to everything he says and does but the truth is, there are none. Bottom line is that he still has feelings for her (very likely still in love with her). They text all the time, they flirt and talk about their sex life (don't kid yourself that it's all her because it's not and you know it). He didn't have to respond. He could've just ignored it, but he didn't. He agreed with her that their sex life was good. You need to take the rose colored glasses off and see what is really going on. I think shes always helped him with money. And no he didnt have to respond but he didnt really say anything either. Mostly just that he didnt remember, she then text reminding him. And no i dont think its a good thing that he lies to her and doesnt see the children but it shows that he sees me as a priority Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Yes he did. He did talk about their sex life, no matter how much you try to sugar coat it. He should not be talking to any woman like this while in a relationship. Priority? This is where you are wrong. He doesn't see you as a priority, especially not over his children and the mother of his children. They will always come before you, ALWAYS. You are just a warm body to lay next to at night. You will never be a priority to him. Why are you having so much trouble understanding that? He has reduced you to be so paranoid that you are already snooping in his phone. This is only going to get worse as time goes on. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Because i cant see how he really spoke about it. She initiated it and kept talking about he. He kept saying he didnt remember. And how am i not a priority if hes telling her he cant see them so as to spend time with me? Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Because at the time he didn't tell her he was seeing you. He lied and said he was working. You will never be a priority over them. Accept it. She initiated the sex texting but he still responded to it. Seriously, how the hell can you be with a guy that does this? Why do you keep making excuses for his behavior? No man should be talking about sex in any way shape or form with any other woman. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) But thats what im saying. He wasnt talking about sex. She was. She was asking of he remembered certain things and he said no so then she described them to him. He then said he remembered and that that was a good night. But thats all he said. He said she never used to talk about sex that mucj and she said she figured he liked talking about it since he was still talking and he said he wasnt admitting to anything Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 He wasnt talking about sex. She was. She was asking of he remembered certain things and he said no so then she described them to him. He then said he remembered and that that was a good night. He shouldn't even be doing that. She is trying to entice him back because she loves him. But that's all he said. He said she never used to talk about sex that mucj and she said she figured he liked talking about it since he was still talking and he said he wasnt admitting to anything She figures very largely in his life and always will. She is the mother of his children and you will never compare to that. They are planning nights and holidays together. Texting and laughing and talking about how good their sex was. Seriously? Time to wake up to reality here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 He shouldn't even be doing that. She is trying to entice him back because she loves him. She figures very largely in his life and always will. She is the mother of his children and you will never compare to that. They are planning nights and holidays together. Texting and laughing and talking about how good their sex was. Seriously? Time to wake up to reality here. They arent staying at his anymore and i think since they argued the other day that the holiday is cancelled too Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) That one maybe. But there will be others. People argue but when the dust settles they get on again. Why do you want to be in the middle of two people who have 2 young babies and clearly still have an emotional connection to each other? There are almost 25 pages of people here telling you all this but you are not taking any notice because you only see what you want to see, and not what is actually going on right under your nose? you look at him as the person you want him to be, not as the person he actually is. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Because i just cant see why everyone is so sure that hes still in love with her when everything he says and does say hes not? Hes told her he doesnt want to be with her anymore because hes seeing someone but that he still wants to be part of the childrens lives. Hes said its not a good idea for them to stay at his, even though he knows it makes things more difficult for her and their plans for the weekend. He barely responded when she talked about their sex life. Does none of that mean anything? Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) No, because he still responded. He acknowledged personal intimate things between them. If he didn't have feelings for her he wouldn't have. Like i said, she figures very largely in his life and always will. She will always be around. She also still loves him and wants him back. She will try to entice him even though she knows he's seeing someone. She will likely succeed at some point too. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Does that not make her as bad as youre all saying he is? That shes still trying to get him back like that even though she knows hes seeing me? And if she was going to succeed wouldnt she have already? Do you think shes trying to use sex because she thinks thats why he left? Because they werent having sex because she was away Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Does that not make her as bad as youre all saying he is? That shes still trying to get him back like that even though she knows hes seeing me? And if she was going to succeed wouldnt she have already? Not necessarily. He's enjoying that attention. We can all see that. Do you think shes trying to use sex because she thinks thats why he left? Because they werent having sex because she was away I can't answer for her because i don't her. You don't really know what went on between them. You only know what he tells you, and we all know by now that he is good at lying. We can all see here that there is still something between them. She still loves him and will always try to get him back. He is enjoying the chase and is going give in eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 You are focusing on trivia, "he said she said" when it is the big picture you need to be looking at here. You have acquired frankly, a "nightmare" of a man who is in a "nightmare" of a situation and you are already making excuses for him and you have only known him for 2 months... Where do you see this going? You are so engrossed in wanting to "win", but you are ignoring the poor quality of the "prize". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 Not necessarily. He's enjoying that attention. We can all see that. I can't answer for her because i don't her. You don't really know what went on between them. You only know what he tells you, and we all know by now that he is good at lying. We can all see here that there is still something between them. She still loves him and will always try to get him back. He is enjoying the chase and is going give in eventually. When they argue though its like really bad. He gets so angry. Wouldnt he just not argue with her if he still felt something? Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) This is why he argues with her because he feels strongly for her. The stronger her feels for her, the worse the arguments will be. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) They argued when she told him she still loved him and was finding it hard not being with him. Then she tried to get hin to fix thind he ignored her and then eventually told her that he was seeing someone Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Can you live with her constantly trying to get him back? Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) As long as theres nothing on his side, i think so Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) That's just it, there is something on his side. She's the mother of his young babies. They have a bond that you and him will never have. They have an emotional connection and she will always be making plays for him until he gives in, which he will. It's up to you if you can live with this woman always in the picture but don't say that we didn't warn you. Edited October 18, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Who knows what this drama ridden, directionless man-boy will do or who he will hoodwink into remaining in orbit. Certainly only the willing. OP, does he use the money he manipulates from his baby's momma to take you out on dates? Or is it to pay his bills.... Anyway...you get what you put up with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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