introverted1 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 How is this still a thread? It's obvious to everyone but OP, it seems, that this guy is having his cake and eating it, too. So then why wouldnt he just get back with her when she asked? Because he doesn't need to. He's enjoying being wanted by two women who are essentially fighting for him. He doesn't need to make a choice yet because you are both willing to wait. When she is truly no longer willing to wait, he will dump you and go back with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 So do you think them talking will mean they get back together sooner or is that just slowing him down because all the while theyre talking he knows shes there waiting? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Its not that i have an excuse. Im genuinely confused. The way to clear up your confusion is to ask HIM the questions you are asking us. Why haven't you communicated your fears to him about this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 You are 22, surely you do not see a long term future with this guy?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 The way to clear up your confusion is to ask HIM the questions you are asking us. Why haven't you communicated your fears to him about this situation? Everyone here is saying nothing he says is true so what would be the poing in asking him. And ive asked him about him talking to her and he just says its about the kids or she text me first Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 So do you think them talking will mean they get back together sooner or is that just slowing him down because all the while theyre talking he knows shes there waiting? I think it doesn't matter. He's still emotionally connected to her, and not just because of the kids. I doubt he really knows what he wants and anyone who gets involved with him -- and that includes you as well as his gf/wife/baby mama/whatever -- is going to be buffeted around in the wake of his indecision. You've got multiple threads here, all asking the same thing. Why? Why not just listen to your gut, which is accurately telling you that something here is wrong, and get out. One day, your older and wiser self is going to looks back on this and wonder why you couldn't see what's been obvious all along. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Everyone here is saying nothing he says is true so what would be the poing in asking him. And ive asked him about him talking to her and he just says its about the kids or she text me first Well everyone here is not your bf are they? If you took this guy back you should be comfortable enough with him to have a conversation about this and get all of your questions answered. You are instead afraid to ask and reveal to him the other things you know because either you snooped and found this info out or you are afraid he may break up. Which is it? As a matter of fact you remind me of another poster with the same line of questions. I'll try to find that thread and post it. Maybe it will help you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Well everyone here is not your bf are they? If you took this guy back you should be comfortable enough with him to have a conversation about this and get all of your questions answered. You are instead afraid to ask and reveal to him the other things you know because either you snooped and found this info out or you are afraid he may break up. Which is it? As a matter of fact you remind me of another poster with the same line of questions. I'll try to find that thread and post it. Maybe it will help you. Mostly that ive looked on his phone. I have seen alot of the things on his phone. Like i saw that the night they started talking (the same day he told her he was seeing someone) she brought up their sex life asking if he remembered certain things from certain nights. Most of his replies were that he didnt so asked her to remind him or saying yeah that was a good night. There was no sexting at all and she told him he needed to put more effort in to the conversation, he said he'd take that on board. He didnt seem overly into the conversation though. It was definitely more her. Anytime i ask him why he talks to her he just says the same things. That hes being polite because she text him first and she'll kick off about him ignoring her or its about the children And yes, please send me the link to have a look if you find it Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Because since then he has started talking to her daily, laughing and joking like friends and putting xx on the end of his texts to her. This ^. This is all the answer you need. He's still got something with her. He's playing you. Someone said that he's enjoying having 2 women wanting him and I totally agree. Why are you with a guy like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 This might just be a hard lesson you need to learn: the hot good-in-bed guy with lots of other female drama isn't always the best relationship material. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Mostly that ive looked on his phone. So you have been snooping. Why don't you reveal to him what you've found and ask him about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Mostly that ive looked on his phone. I have seen alot of the things on his phone. Wait, you look through his phone? I take it he doesn't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 No he doesnt know Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 OH girl you are now the psycho sally gf who goes snooping through her bf's phone because she doesn't trust him. You do NOT want to be reduced to that kind of girl, going nuts because she's been gaslighted too much and made to second-guess everything her boyfriend tells her. Not to mention, it's a gross invasion of privacy. This is all kinds of unhealthy for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 OH girl you are now the psycho sally gf who goes snooping through her bf's phone because she doesn't trust him. You do NOT want to be reduced to that kind of girl, going nuts because she's been gaslighted too much and made to second-guess everything her boyfriend tells her. Not to mention, it's a gross invasion of privacy. This is all kinds of unhealthy for you. I know. It was only the once last night. Normally hes glued to his phone Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 No he doesnt know Major invasion of privacy and cray cray behavior. This is what he has reduced you to. I'll ask again, why are you with a guy like this? If he finds out you go snooping in his phone he won't be with you much longer. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 No he doesnt know Good for you. I had given up hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Major invasion of privacy and cray cray behavior. This is what he has reduced you to. I'll ask again, why are you with a guy like this? If he finds out you go snooping in his phone he won't be with you much longer. I know and im not proud of it. I just had to see what they could be talking about. Alot was about the children and making plans for the weekend but there was also the part about their sex life and i saw that yesterday morning he had text her first and kept the conversation going a few times even when she didnt. But again i think it was probably because he wanted to ask her to transfer some money into his bank account. Theyve been laughing and joking and shes been quite flirty towards him at times Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 Good for you. I had given up hope. Hope for what? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Normally hes glued to his phone Uh huh. Why do you suppose that is? Following up on Elaine's earlier post WHY are you trying to fix this guy? Not to be mean, but honestly this whole relationship sounds like a fool's game to me. You mention you are 22. For many if not most of us, life eventually teaches us to walk away from, not towards, the red flags (which are many here). Not all get through this without some permanent damage though. This other woman is now stuck with this guy's kids and an unfortunate permanent connection to him regardless of what kind of mess he makes of his life. I think you'd do well to learn from her mistakes. Walking away from this would be very wise IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 (edited) Im not trying to fix him. Im trying to figure him out. To understand things abit better. Edited October 17, 2019 by Lucyjane86 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 You didn't answer why you can't ask him these questions and find out what you want to know. Just tell him the truth and stop being a stalker and demand he tell you what is going on. How did you find out all the other information about them if this is the first time you've snooped his phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Im not trying to fix him. Im trying to figure him out. To understand things abit better. We have figured him out for you over these 347 posts, you just don't want to accept it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 You didn't answer why you can't ask him these questions and find out what you want to know. Just tell him the truth and stop being a stalker and demand he tell you what is going on. How did you find out all the other information about them if this is the first time you've snooped his phone? What other information? Some of it he tells me or i hear if theyre on the phone. And all the bits about their past a guy at work was telling me. I know i shouldnt have looked on his phone. Im really not proud of myself for it and its not something i intend to do again. Im not normally that kind of person. Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 OMG they're texting about their sex life?? How much are you going to tolerate before you dump this guy? What does he have to do, f*ck her right in front of you? Link to post Share on other sites
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