Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 20, 2019 Author Share Posted October 20, 2019 (edited) This has been answered several times in this thread already. ..... there are a mountain of reasons. So you think hes going to break up with me? He doesnt go anywhere to meet anyone to sleep around with. And i never really ask him his plans as hes normally eithee working or with me. Other than this weekend. Edited October 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Yeah, he might break up. Or he might hang onto you being miserable because he thinks he can't do better or is too gutless to go it alone. We can't predict what he will do. All we do know is that he thinks being single would have to be better than what he's got. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 I can see the lying and cheating there. But only a minor part was to me. Nearly all of that is what he has done to her, not me He is a liar and a cheat. It's in him. He cheated on her several times, lied to her and you several times. You really think he won't tell you big lies when it suits him? You really think you are more special and he'll control his lying to you? He was engaged to this woman do you understand how special she was? And he still cheated and lied to her while she was a good gf and changed his life to as per his co-workers. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Thats all he said though. That it was good? He didnt go into any details like she did. Surely hes allowed to have memories? And they were together for years so you would assume from that that he must have enjoyed the sex. So is it really that bad for him to say that? Yes. Very bad. He shouldn't have said that AT ALL. It's emotional cheating. What he should have done was hung up the phone. Memories? Do you really want your bf to always be thinking about the great sex he had with her? That's OK with you? Somehow I think not, although that's what he is doing anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 In context of what is going on, i think his IG "single" post was a reference to finally giving up on her, especially since they have been hanging out together this weekend. I also take it to mean that he doesn't consider himself in a relationship, which means "with you". Idk, i think you need much improvement on reading between the lines. I'll give you that the IG post was a little cryptic...the rest of what is going on is not at all. Everyone is basically telling you exactly the same thing. What is this page 31?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Excellent point Versace about him not considering himself to be in a relationship with the OP. Whatever his intentions are, this is not something a person would write if they are seeing someone they don't want to lose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 I don't think anything any of say in this thread is making a lick of difference for OP. The same questions, the same answers - for 30+ pages. I'm tapping out. Good luck to you, Lucy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 Yeah, he might break up. Or he might hang onto you being miserable because he thinks he can't do better or is too gutless to go it alone. We can't predict what he will do. All we do know is that he thinks being single would have to be better than what he's got. Excellent point Versace about him not considering himself to be in a relationship with the OP. Whatever his intentions are, this is not something a person would write if they are seeing someone they don't want to lose. Do you think then that after spending the weekend together hes thinking he wants to go back to her and thats what the post was about? Maybe he feels like he gave too much while she was away and thats why he turned to me and is now seeing that its her he wants and if he cant be with her he'd rather stay single than be with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 No that cant be it because she wants him back so theres no reason he couldnt be with her if he wanted Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Doesn't sound like he wants to be with you, judging by that IG post. You are just a distraction and something to pass the time/keep him warm at night until he sorts his relationship out with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 So even with that post you still think he wants to go back to her? Its not that he wants to be single, its just that he doesnt want me? But he does want her? So then why did he tell her he was seeing me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 (edited) I think hes been texting her half of the day. Hes said something about her and the kids going to his after they have taken them to the bonfire night for a movie and takeaway, so they are still making plans together and even though hes told her about us he still lies to her about what hes doing rather than say hes with me Edited October 21, 2019 by Lucyjane86 Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 I think hes been texting her half of the day. Hes said something about her and the kids going to his after they have taken them to the bonfire night for a movie and takeaway, so they are still making plans together and even though hes told her about us he still lies to her about what hes doing rather than say hes with me My ex and I were together for 13 years and have a 5 year old and have been separated nearly 2 years now. We sit next to each other at parents' evening at school, we both attend her birthday parties, and an occasional family gathering at his. Other than that, she has 'mummy days' and 'daddy days'. We don't even try to play happy families and it wasn't a particularly unpleasant split - we'd just grown apart. I think I can count on one hand my friends that try and do more 'family' things with the kids as a unit and it's always stressful and difficult for them. This doesn't sound like that's what's going on here, it's all far too cosy. And the fact he doesn't want to rub her face in the fact he's with you by lying about it suggests he's not ready to claim you as his woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 I think I can count on one hand my friends that try and do more 'family' things with the kids as a unit and it's always stressful and difficult for them. This doesn't sound like that's what's going on here, it's all far too cosy. From what ive heard they get along really well still. And they text every day. They took the children to a theme park on saturday and it seems like he had a really good day. He doesnt have the children on his own, they only go out as a family. Ive seen he signs his texts of with xxx too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 And the fact he doesn't want to rub her face in the fact he's with you by lying about it suggests he's not ready to claim you as his woman. So you think maybe he regrets telling her about us? Or that he just doesnt like to tell her when hes actually with me? Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 If they get on well that's great because they have to co-parent two children for a long time yet. It's hard when you don't get on, because there ARE things you have to discuss. They'll still be their children when they're grown ups. She's never going away. Knowing NOTHING about this man other than your rose-tinted view of him, my guess is that he knows damn well that if he tells his ex when he's with you, it'll make her snippy, and he doesn't want to upset the applecart. He's a pacifier. He's done things to pacify her, and pacify you. None of it is honest and open or displays a firm decision and commitment to a course of action on his part. I think you're going to get really, really hurt if you don't walk away and let them figure out how to co-parent if they're apart, or if they really want to be apart at all. You keep the bed warm and give him options. He's having his cake and eating it right now, but you're anxious because you know however many crumbs you're getting, they're just a pile of crumbs and it's not a real slice of his heart. (Sorry to wander into metaphor there ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 I know its good that they get on. But i think they get on too well. They text everyday and its not all about the children. They have family days out with the children and are planning to take the children to the bonfire and then go to his for a movie night with a takeaway. There hasnt been any mention of them staying over but surely after the bonfire its going to be late at night? The children are going to want to sleep? So even if they dont stay over that still leaves them alone at his watching a movie whilst the children are most likely sleeping. That cant be normal even for co parenting? Everyone here seems so adamant that hes not over her in the slightest and after today im really starting to agree. I dont think she had asked him about seeing the children or anything when he lied to her. I think they were just asking what eachother was upto and he lied saying he had taken the day off sick with a headache. He was rostered off today anyway and i was at his at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 He's a pacifier. He's done things to pacify her, and pacify you. None of it is honest and open or displays a firm decision and commitment to a course of action on his part. Do you mean like him telling her about us? As in he only told her to keep me happy but doesnt tell her when hes with me so as to keep her happy but that neither of those things mean he is committed to either of us? Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Do you mean like him telling her about us? As in he only told her to keep me happy but doesnt tell her when hes with me so as to keep her happy but that neither of those things mean he is committed to either of us? YES, exactly this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 Do you think the same as everyone else? That they get along too well? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 are planning to take the children to the bonfire and then go to his for a movie night with a takeaway. He doesn't do that for the children, he does that to be with her. The children are 1 yo and 2 yo, Kids that age are not interested in bonfire and they certainely don't watch movies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 I know the movie part definitely has to be more about her but would the children not atleast be interested in the fireworks at the bonfire? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 I know the movie part definitely has to be more about her but would the children not atleast be interested in the fireworks at the bonfire? not when the loud explosions begin... small children (and pets) don't particularly like loud noises like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 So you think the whole evening is just about spending time with her? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 So you think the whole evening is just about spending time with her? I'm sure I answered this about 300 posts back somewhere... I'll let you go wading for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts