Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) He’s still VERY involved with his ‘ex’ because he’s hoping they get back together! And IF it was truly OVER he wouldn’t schedule dates together like they are an intimate couple. They dont plan dates. They plan things to do with the children. And he tells her he cant see them sometimes because he is with me. Do you not thhink there could be any other reason he is still involved with her? Maybe he just sees her as a friend? Or doesnt want to go down the legal road? Edited October 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Kendahke, I'm thinking that if the OP has these conditions which make her unable to think and analyse, then university wouldn't have been an option for her. I have only recently been put on some of my medications Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 No, he’s not over her. Did you have sex with him today? Yes we have sex everytime we see eachother. Unless its at work obviously Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Yes there might be.. please ask him and tell us, because we really want to know! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Im not asking him. Im asking your opininions Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 So you prefer to speculate forever rather than find out on your own.. Then I guess that's what you'll always have - speculations and assumptions, and he will have you both in his life, just like he wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 No i just prefer to see what people outside of the situation think right now Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) Lucyjane Every person who responded to you told you the same thing: he's not over her. He's using you. You are foolish to continue this. I understand that he's telling you it's over with her & that you think he spends time with you. Did you ever consider that she dumped him & he's trying to save face by telling you that he broke up with her? The reality is he wants her back & you are just the woman he's boinking until he gets her back. Why are you putting up with this? What do you think will happen? He's not going to voluntarily leave her -- ever. Even if you get pregnant, all you will do is condemn your child to a life without it's bio father. Moreover, whatever meds you are on, you probably can't take while pregnant or they will damage your child. This is a disaster waiting to happen. So many lives will be ruined. All I see is heartache in your future until you wake up & start acting responsibly by kicking him out of your life forever. As others have pointed out he's going no where fast -- dead end job, no ambition, liar & manipulator who is a bad father. He is not just friends with the mother of his child. He's emotionally tied to her If you have sex with him every time you see him outside of work you have to assume that is his pattern & he's having sex with her at every opportunity. She doesn't know about you. She thinks he's faithful & he hides you from her. You are his dirty little secret side piece. Have more self respect then that. Walk away. I'm sorry to be harsh but at this point I want to shake some sense into you. Edited October 23, 2019 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 So why are you? What do you think will happen? He's not going to leave her -- ever. Even if you get pregnant, all you will do is condemn your child to a life without it's bio father. Moreover, whatever meds you are on, you probably can't take while pregnant or they will damage your child. This is a disaster waiting to happen. So many lives will be ruined. He is not just friends with the mother of his child. If you have sex with him every time you see him outside of work you have to assume that is his pattern & he's having sex with her at every opportunity. She doesn't know about you. She thinks he's faithful. You are his dirty little secret side piece. I dont plan on having children for a very long time. She does know about me. He told her he was seeing someone. And i cant see that they have had any opportunity to have had sex as they only go out to places Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Not all children are planned, dear. Educate yourself. If you are having sex, you could get pregnant. He told you they go out. That doesn't mean they do. He told you he told her about you. He probably didn't. If she knows about you, ask if you can meet her. When he freaks or puts you off you will then hopefully realize that he's lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 They do go out. He posts pictures of the children from where they have been. And he did tell her about us. I saw the texts. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 And then he drops her off & what happens? You are obviously going to keep seeing this dreadful man so have it. You have been warned that he's bad news but you are determined to continue. Since you have chosen a path, why do you keep asking for outside opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 The title of your thread is "Is He Really Over Her?" - I think you would serve yourself better if YOU get over her . . . and him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Im not asking him. Im asking your opininions Why aren't you asking him? We have given our opinions now we want to see what his response is to you. Everyone is repeating the same opinions over and over but you still keep asking. What did you and him talk about yesterday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 And then he drops her off & what happens? You are obviously going to keep seeing this dreadful man so have it. You have been warned that he's bad news but you are determined to continue. Since you have chosen a path, why do you keep asking for outside opinions? He doesnt drop her off. Neither of them drives. That was why they were goinf to be staying at his place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Why aren't you asking him? We have given our opinions now we want to see what his response is to you. Everyone is repeating the same opinions over and over but you still keep asking. What did you and him talk about yesterday? We didnt talk about much. We went for some food and watched a movie then he went to work in the evening Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 We didnt talk about much. We went for some food and watched a movie then he went to work in the evening Poor communication, food and TV -- the stuff of quality, long-lasting relationships Good luck wid dat. Why don't you find yourself a guy who doesn't have baggage, can spend quality time with you and has something to offer you besides his baby mama drama and clearly demonstrates his commitment to you so that you aren't wondering all the time. That's what a real boyfriend does. An adult woman has a hard enough time dealing with a man who has children with another woman and can't make her his priority because of that. A young, inexperienced, insecure girl should be enjoying herself and having a boyfriend, not stressing over him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Why don't you find yourself a guy who doesn't have baggage, can spend quality time with you and has something to offer you besides his baby mama drama and clearly demonstrates his commitment to you so that you aren't wondering all the time. That's what a real boyfriend does. He does spend time with me. And baby mama drama? Theres no drama with her. Other than her still being an active part in his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 He does spend time with me. And baby mama drama? Theres no drama with her. Other than her still being an active part in his life. I can't tell if you're being intentionally obtuse or not but . . . You're creating drama in your own head by stressing over this. He has a child with another woman. Whether you like it or not, it is his responsibility as a parent to peacefully and actively co-parent with her which, at times, will require them to spend time together and communicate for the sake of the child. Those two are obligated to make sure that child has two parents who are contributing to and modeling for the child some sort of stable family structure. You will never, ever be the top priority in this guy's life if he's a good father. Even if you two marry some day, you will not be his priority unless he turns into a sh*t Dad because of his own selfishness. You need to face that right now. A good portion of his money will be given over to her for child support for many years and therefore, having money for you and your needs will be lacking at times. A mature, adult woman who wants to have a relationship with a man who has children with other women, will understand all that and be prepared to accept it. If she feels that the man is still having an intimate relationship with that woman, she will leave the situation instead of mind-Fing herself on a dating website. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Its the way they spend time together. And the amount they communicate throughout the day by text every day. It cant all be about the children when they talk. There camt possibly be that much to say about them. And i dont think he gives her any money as he never has anything to give Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Its the way they spend time together. And the amount they communicate throughout the day by text every day. It cant all be about the children when they talk. There camt possibly be that much to say about them. And i dont think he gives her any money as he never has anything to give Great, guy has no money, doesn't support his child, seems to still be involved with the ex beyond his obligation but you want to be with him. Geez. Come back to this thread when you grow up and see if you've gotten any smarter about what you want in a man. By the way, if he's not supporting the kid, I can see why she'd be up his rear end on a regular basis LOFLLLL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) Lucyjane: You are right. They communicate too much, all those texts are not only about the 2 children you know it and you've seen it. No there isn't that much to say about the children especially at 1yo and 2yo, their routine is eat, sleep, play. As for him not giving her money, not looking for a better paying job, not looking for a 2nd job to help his own children make him a dead-beat father. Now not only he doesn't give her money but SHE is the one giving him money! He takes money out of his children's mouth!!! to buy YOU pizza. You should not interfere in their life! let them solve their problems and fix their family!! Every cent he spends with you should be money toward the children, every moment spent with you should be moments spent with his children! Be the bigger person and tell him to go be a father to his children and a real support to their mother. . Edited October 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited per poster request 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 By the way, if he's not supporting the kid, I can see why she'd be up his rear end on a regular basis LOFLLLL Let me twist it for you, he has 2 children with his ex age 1 yo and 2 yo !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 They have 2 children. And i dont think it bothers her about the money as he has mentioned a few times in the last week about asking her for some money. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Where the mother gets her money? Does she work? is she a professional? is she on welfare? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts