preraph Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 So you dont believe he could have fallen out of love with her in that time? So he ended things purely because of me? She wasn't there to have sex with. He likely had sex as much as possible with new people the whole time she was gone. I have never known any exes with kids who regularly saw each other every week unless it was just to drop off the kids with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I don't know what makes you think he was ever in love with either of you. This is mostly about sex to him. She leaves, and he can't even wait two weeks for her to come back and starts chasing women to get sex. He hides you from her forever because he was probably still having sex with her or wanting to. My guess is he was or he'd have lost interest sooner and not be letting her call the shots. If you really want to find out, don't have sex with him (or to him) for two weeks and see what happens. Cheaters are always looking for someone like you who will look the other way and make excuses for them and just keep believing what they want to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 They were apart for about 2 months not 2 weeks. And i cant see how they can have had sex since before she went away as they havent hardly seen eachother since and when they have its been to go out somewhere. And he doesnt let her call the shots Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Ive answered that question a few times. I didnt ask him anything because according to what everyone on here says he wouldnt tell me the truth anyway So if you can't ask him the question because you believe what we say, why are you still with him? Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 But im interested in knowing why people have the opinions that they do Because he spends plenty of time and energy focused on her. Because he’s a known liar. Because he doesn’t prioritize REALLY dating you. Because he will take the free sex while he’s not with her. When I met my then future husband - I never would have dated him IF he focused that much attention on his ex wife. He spoke to her very little - only enough to arrange visitation pick up and drop off. He’s still VERY involved with his ‘ex’ because he’s hoping they get back together! And IF it was truly OVER he wouldn’t schedule data together like they are an intimate couple. He does that because he’s hoping she will take him back. You are an after thought. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Kendahke, I'm thinking that if the OP has these conditions which make her unable to think and analyse, then university wouldn't have been an option for her. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 IF he was considering how you felt he wouldn’t be texting her all the time. He would be seeing his kids totally separate from her, and he would be considering having them meet you if he was thinking you are long term material. But he’s more focused on keeping the relationship with his ex alive than thinking of you and how you can fit in. He makes PLANS to go out with them! When my adult boys are interested in a gal - they take the gal out to dinner, Bri g her to family functions and buy concert and sporting event tickets. Has he done any of those things on a weekly basis for you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Ive answered that question a few times. I didnt ask him anything because according to what everyone on here says he wouldnt tell me the truth anyway Not everyone told you that. I told you to ask him since he was sitting there on the sofa with you these questions. You've been on LS all day. Why didn't you spend this precious time with him since you only see him twice a week? I also told you to show him this thread so he can answer these questions. Why don't you want to know what he says? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 No, he’s not over her. Did you have sex with him today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) He’s still VERY involved with his ‘ex’ because he’s hoping they get back together! And IF it was truly OVER he wouldn’t schedule dates together like they are an intimate couple. They dont plan dates. They plan things to do with the children. And he tells her he cant see them sometimes because he is with me. Do you not thhink there could be any other reason he is still involved with her? Maybe he just sees her as a friend? Or doesnt want to go down the legal road? Edited October 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Kendahke, I'm thinking that if the OP has these conditions which make her unable to think and analyse, then university wouldn't have been an option for her. I have only recently been put on some of my medications Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 No, he’s not over her. Did you have sex with him today? Yes we have sex everytime we see eachother. Unless its at work obviously Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Yes there might be.. please ask him and tell us, because we really want to know! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Im not asking him. Im asking your opininions Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 So you prefer to speculate forever rather than find out on your own.. Then I guess that's what you'll always have - speculations and assumptions, and he will have you both in his life, just like he wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 No i just prefer to see what people outside of the situation think right now Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) Lucyjane Every person who responded to you told you the same thing: he's not over her. He's using you. You are foolish to continue this. I understand that he's telling you it's over with her & that you think he spends time with you. Did you ever consider that she dumped him & he's trying to save face by telling you that he broke up with her? The reality is he wants her back & you are just the woman he's boinking until he gets her back. Why are you putting up with this? What do you think will happen? He's not going to voluntarily leave her -- ever. Even if you get pregnant, all you will do is condemn your child to a life without it's bio father. Moreover, whatever meds you are on, you probably can't take while pregnant or they will damage your child. This is a disaster waiting to happen. So many lives will be ruined. All I see is heartache in your future until you wake up & start acting responsibly by kicking him out of your life forever. As others have pointed out he's going no where fast -- dead end job, no ambition, liar & manipulator who is a bad father. He is not just friends with the mother of his child. He's emotionally tied to her If you have sex with him every time you see him outside of work you have to assume that is his pattern & he's having sex with her at every opportunity. She doesn't know about you. She thinks he's faithful & he hides you from her. You are his dirty little secret side piece. Have more self respect then that. Walk away. I'm sorry to be harsh but at this point I want to shake some sense into you. Edited October 23, 2019 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 So why are you? What do you think will happen? He's not going to leave her -- ever. Even if you get pregnant, all you will do is condemn your child to a life without it's bio father. Moreover, whatever meds you are on, you probably can't take while pregnant or they will damage your child. This is a disaster waiting to happen. So many lives will be ruined. He is not just friends with the mother of his child. If you have sex with him every time you see him outside of work you have to assume that is his pattern & he's having sex with her at every opportunity. She doesn't know about you. She thinks he's faithful. You are his dirty little secret side piece. I dont plan on having children for a very long time. She does know about me. He told her he was seeing someone. And i cant see that they have had any opportunity to have had sex as they only go out to places Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Not all children are planned, dear. Educate yourself. If you are having sex, you could get pregnant. He told you they go out. That doesn't mean they do. He told you he told her about you. He probably didn't. If she knows about you, ask if you can meet her. When he freaks or puts you off you will then hopefully realize that he's lying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 They do go out. He posts pictures of the children from where they have been. And he did tell her about us. I saw the texts. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 And then he drops her off & what happens? You are obviously going to keep seeing this dreadful man so have it. You have been warned that he's bad news but you are determined to continue. Since you have chosen a path, why do you keep asking for outside opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 The title of your thread is "Is He Really Over Her?" - I think you would serve yourself better if YOU get over her . . . and him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Im not asking him. Im asking your opininions Why aren't you asking him? We have given our opinions now we want to see what his response is to you. Everyone is repeating the same opinions over and over but you still keep asking. What did you and him talk about yesterday? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 And then he drops her off & what happens? You are obviously going to keep seeing this dreadful man so have it. You have been warned that he's bad news but you are determined to continue. Since you have chosen a path, why do you keep asking for outside opinions? He doesnt drop her off. Neither of them drives. That was why they were goinf to be staying at his place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Why aren't you asking him? We have given our opinions now we want to see what his response is to you. Everyone is repeating the same opinions over and over but you still keep asking. What did you and him talk about yesterday? We didnt talk about much. We went for some food and watched a movie then he went to work in the evening Link to post Share on other sites
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