Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 Honey he wants to make her suffer. He's playing games. He knows you are willing to put up with him & all his garbage so he's biding his time to punish her. He's doing this because he's a cruel man who is playing egotistical immature power games Why would he want to make her suffer? Especially if he still had feelings for her like you all believe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 So you mean that he may not be actively trying to reconcile, he may not even believe he still has feelings for her but that whether hes trying to get back with her and whether he knows it yet or not its probably happening anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Lucy: Even if this guy was the most amazing man *to you*. Even if he was the perfect boyfriend *to you* l still would consider him a liar, a cheat, a player because of the way he handles himself with his ex = numerous communications, letting her talk sex, family day, bringning ex over his parents, planning night over, planning movie nights with her, etc. All those are unacceptable behavior toward an ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 (edited) So do you think it was just all down to timing. She went away to deal with whatever and i started my job at the same time. If i hadnt have been new there or if she hadnt have gone away, that they probably never even would have broken up in the first place? That hes never actually wanted me for me, i was just new at work so didnt know their history at the time and was new and exciting while he was alone? Edited October 24, 2019 by Lucyjane86 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 I dont. That wasnt the point of my question What was the point? And, what does the 86 stand for behind Lucyjae? Is that 1986? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 What was the point? And, what does the 86 stand for behind Lucyjae? Is that 1986? No its not 1986. Its june 8th. For my birthday. 8.6.1997. And the point was to see why peoples opinions would still have been the same even if he had of been an exceptional boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Did you find the opinions sufficient? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 Im starting to. Now that im getting actual opinions as opposed to just keep being told how stupid i am Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 No its not 1986. Its june 8th. For my birthday. 8.6.1997. And the point was to see why peoples opinions would still have been the same even if he had of been an exceptional boyfriend. I think the problem is that after all your accounts of him it's very difficult to just believe he would be exceptional. You've described, in detail, how he treated you and her, which generates an image of him in our minds. Nobody here says that we are 100% right.. but if you suddenly put a hypothetical question "what if he is an exceptional boyfriend", it just sounds like you want to hear certain things and try to find a way to get it out of us 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 (edited) @Legatus... Im not trying to hear certain things or change peoples opinions. I wanted to know why the opinions would still have been the same. Alot have said its because he we dont go out much so i wondered what the opinions would have been based on if id have said he was a better boyfriend Edited October 24, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Sure, if he was a better boyfriend who was single when he met you, who looked after his kids financially, who did nice things with you, who introduced you to his friends and family and who would have pictures of you together on social media - I'm sure the responses would be far different. But he does none of these things, does he. You're just his dirty secret. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 (edited) And if all that were true but he still text her daily and apwnt time with her when he saw the children? And what about the fact he still has photos of her on his social media with loving quotes? Should he have taken them down? I only mention this now as you just mentioned social media and photos and it reminded me Edited October 24, 2019 by Lucyjane86 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 If he texted her daily about updates with the kids, that's OK. Personal conversations, not OK. Yes, I would expect him to have taken down photos on social media...except perhaps any which have his kids in the photo too. But most of all, he would have taken down loving quotes. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 When he told her about you, did you hear or see the conversation? What proof do you have that it actually happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Im not trying to hear certain things or change peoples opinions. I wanted to know why the opinions would still have been the same. Alot have said its because he we dont go out much so i wondered what the opinions would have been based on if id have said he was a better boyfriend But there's no basis for your hypothesis. Our opinions do not seem to count for the real thing, then I do not know why you would want to listen to opinions about hypothetical situation of him being great boyfriend, which clearly is not the case. I'm sorry @Lucyjane86, I'm sorry that he got you so badly. I sincerely hope it won't be too late when you finally wake up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 They do have the children in but they say things like my world and my 3 favourite girls and my life in one photo. Things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 When he told her about you, did you hear or see the conversation? What proof do you have that it actually happened? I saw the texts. She had been trying to get him to try again and he said there was nothing to talk about because he was seeing someone. They then got in a huge argument for a few hours and then out of nowhere just dropped it and have got on since. Before that they were only having minimal contact. Before you ask.. yes i looked on his phone. Just the once. And im not proud of it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 If he texted her daily about updates with the kids, that's OK. Personal conversations, not OK. What constitutes being about the children or being personal. Like obviously talking about him at work and how either of them are then thats personal. But when hes asking about their plans for the day? Or saying meeting them would be better than going to work? Starting messagings with good morning and ending with goodnight, are they counted as personal or just polite? Link to post Share on other sites
Tristian Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 Well, threads been open only one day and already have one member in the penalty box and over 20 posts deleted. We are not off to a good start. Who's next? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 He really couldnt just be being polite if she was always the one messaging him first? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 How is she his priority when its me he spends all his time with? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 But he doesn't spend all his time with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 Not all of it. But we see eachother pretty much every day. Even if its just for a little while when i drop him home after work. And we text all the time that we arent together. Even just after ive left his and got home. Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 It still doesn't mean that they can't be friends or more than friends. The things you experience and his possible desire to still be close to his ex aren't mutually exclusive... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Share Posted October 25, 2019 The things you experience and his possible desire to still be close to his ex aren't mutually exclusive... What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
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