Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 They are definitely not together. From what i heaed him say earlier he turns cold on her to remind her that they are no longer together. It seems as though theyll be getting on great and almost like before and then he'll pull back away. So he'll act distant towards her but still spend the day taking the children out together, going for lunch, planning days out and i think talking about things from the past like past holidays and things they have done together. That seems to me as though hes blowing hot and cold on her? Which would imply there are still some feelings there on his side too? Could it be that hes conflicted because we were together? Or maybe that he thought he had fallen out of love with her but spending tine with her makes him realise he might have been wrong? Hes literally sat at the bar in front of me drinking and trying to talk to me, so i can hear everything he says to our mate. Shes text him since hes been here and hes ignored her. Theyve been texting loads in the last few days so why ignore her now after spending the day with her? To remind her that they arent together? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 He's still hung up on her. You already ended things with him. Stop harping on this You are not doing yourself any good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Its just bothering me trying to figure out his behaviour. I thiught i knew what was going on, with me and him and with her and him. Obviously i know whats going on with me and him now, i ended things so nothing. But i just dont understand his behaviour in general now Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 All your life you will never quite understand why people do what they do. They do it because they can, bottom line. All you need to do is understand this is not something you want in your life, you cannot change someone, or make them love you more, and you move on. When I was dating I was lied to, mislead, played, and I spent 0 time trying to understand why they did. I didn't want to put any energy in figuring them out, they were not worth it. . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 I know i get that. Its just the more i hear him saying here tonight the more i really cant figure out where his heads at. Like hes basically saying that hes blowing hot and cold on her by saying that they get on great but he has to go cold and distance himself because she almost acts as if theyre still together. So clearly if he wanted her back he could have her. Does that mean he doesnt want her back? Ewhy would a guy, an ex, blow hot and cold like that. And to have been texting her quite abit the last 3 days to auddenly ignore her again now after spending the day with her and the children? It just doesnt make sense. Or ia there something else im missing? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 You sound like someone standing by ready to take him back. Who cares why he acts like this, you should ask yourself WHY you care for such a loser! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Im not ready to take him back at all. I just cant understand how he could spend time with her like that and plan things like going away and trips out with the children if hes not interested in getting back with her. And how he could be that way around an ex in the first place. Let alone one hes not been split from that long. Although as they didnt see eachother for 2 months before the split maybe that makes it easier? Maybe in his head they broke up longer ago than they actually did? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Because he's a user, manipulator, liar, cheater, it's very clear to me why he did this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 So basically he doesnt want her back anymore than he wanted me, he just wants to keep stringing her along incase he ever does decide to go back for whatever reason? Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I'm curious where the kids live. Since both mom and dad are living in shared housing? And he's clearly not providing a roof over their heads...? I would stop trying to make sense of this guy, his actions and what's going on with them. It's a huge mess and they need to get their heads out of their asses, stop farting around and take care of the family they created. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 The children live with her. She shares with her sister and he lives with his uncle in a 2 bedroom flat. Again im not taking him back now regardless but no one here thinks that he could be genuine in any of it? Like he never told her about me so as not to hurt her anymore than he already had, maybe she wont let him see the children on his own, or he feel like he would struggle with them alone. That he actually could genuinely have liked me and wanted to be with me. Or that he is actually just conflicted about his feelings for her and thats why the hot and cold. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 There is NOTHING genuine in this guy N O T H I N G. He was not genuine with you and he is not with her. You get away with a 2 weeks of your life wasted, she will have to deal with this loser for the rest of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 You really dont think there could have been atleast one part of it all that was the truth? Do you think then that hes just a complete player or that he did believe he didnt love her anymore where they hadnt seen eachother so he wasnt feeling connected to her? And seeing her and spending time together makes him wonder if he was wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 but no one here thinks that he could be genuine in any of it? No one here cares enough about him to even take things that deep. At. All. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 I know that but i was just looking for opinions Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 What is it you even like about this guy? I am getting the strong impression you liked him primarily because he expressed interest in you and you felt flattered, and that ego-boost completely blinded you to the reality of this person. I am baffled as to what his redeeming qualities might be and thus what your attraction was. It can't possibly be his character, sensitive nature or thoughtfulness. It certainly isn't his ability to be a good dad, because a good dad would never risk blowing his family apart by cheating. Because if we break it down, he is: -a father of two who has never lived with his own children and seemingly can't provide for them very well -a father of two who chats up other women while he is still in a relationship with his children's mother -a father of two who doesn't even have his crap together enough to keep credit on his phone I wouldn't even let this dope take me to IKEA for a 50-cent foodcourt cone (which I would probably have to pay for) let alone actually let him in my pants. Is this dude really hot or something? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 I know that but i was just looking for opinions There are 12 pages of opinions on this thread. Go re-read it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Is this dude really hot or something? Actually no not especially. I think he just knows how to sell himself well. In the beginning atleast Link to post Share on other sites
Maggiemay1 Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Sorry, but No, he was never genuinely interested in you. He never even cared to date you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Share Posted October 10, 2019 Im not saying thats not the case, nor am i defending him in anyway but i do think he just genuinely has no clue about dates. I think he just thinks its about the spending time together Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Im not saying thats not the case, nor am i defending him in anyway but i do think he just genuinely has no clue about dates. I think he just thinks its about the spending time together Oh, please. You give this dude way too much credit. He's not a good person, but he's clearly not some naive simpleton either. He knows exactly what he is doing. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Actually no not especially. I think he just knows how to sell himself well. In the beginning atleast This is why you need to raise your standards. He can sell his himself to a particular audience, sure, but you don't want to be seat-holder in an audience like that. He only could have sold himself to a woman who expected very little and wasn't experienced enough to see that this whole situation was bad news from the get-go. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Sorry, but No, he was never genuinely interested in you. He never even cared to date you. Winning lottery numbers please. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Share Posted October 11, 2019 I admit i probably came off as naive when we met as i had been single for 4 years before meeting him and i was new at work so i didnt know anything about his relationship or anything to begin with like the others at work do. It was only after i started seeing him that i started to hear things at work Link to post Share on other sites
Maggiemay1 Posted October 11, 2019 Share Posted October 11, 2019 Im not saying thats not the case, nor am i defending him in anyway but i do think he just genuinely has no clue about dates. I think he just thinks its about the spending time together Of course he knows about dates and dating. As do you. But you slept with him without him even having to ask you out or take you on a date and therefore why would he? If he was genuinely interested he would have. But you made it all too easy for him. Sorry! Next time pay attention to how a man treats you in actions and not so much to his words. At this point if someone was genuinely interested , you would only be going out on a second date. Instead you spent two weeks sleeping with him and it’s already over. He doesn’t seem to upset that you ended it with him? Link to post Share on other sites
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