Coworker

[Anna_bananas96]

I'm going to try to keep this brief, this summer I met and started working with a guy who's only two years older than me. We don't work the same nights but have worked a couple of events together. Every time I have seen him he has been super flirty. I know he's very friendly and has a joking personality but I thought it seemed Beyond coworker banter. However whenever I've tried to text him or snap him he is brief or leaves me on read and this is happened 3 times. But when I see him, he remarks on how the setting is romantic, constantly asks if I have a boyfriend, what I'm doing later, uses pick up lines on me, and even brought me coffee. I don't know what to do because I would like to hang out with him as friends or more outside of our job but he does not take initiative outside of work. This job just ended for the season and now I won't see him, what do I do from here? Do I straight-up ask him if he has feelings? Even some of my other co-workers have said that it's obvious he likes me

[mark clemson]

Yes, ask him but go in with LOW expectations. Clearly something is amiss. Possibly he has some sort of issue with actually going through with starting a relationship or possibly he already has a GF, are two the come to mind. There are plenty of men who openly flirt even though they have a GF or are married (I am one, although I'm somewhat toned down about it).

 

Maybe he's just shy or something, but the overall impact on you is hot/cold which sometimes intensifies interest. Possibly it was deliberate on his part although there are those who do hot/cold unconsciously by "instinct". At any rate it's clearly gotten you interested enough to follow up.

 

So, yes, contact him, look into starting an R (if he's amenable) but have low expectations AND if the relationship starts try to step back and be a bit analytical about his actions (easier said than done) and be conscious of any true red flags that might show up.

[schlumpy]

It could be he likes someone else in the office and he's using you as a foil to get her attention. Does that seem likely?

 

If the girl I wanted to know texted me, it wouldn't take me two seconds to answer. So, something is really off here. I would recommend caution.

[Anna_bananas96]

Thanks to everyone who has answered. In response to both of you guys, we work a seasonal job at a park where no one interacts with each other unless it's for special events. I'm the only other female and the only one also in my twenties. From what he's told me he does not have a girlfriend, but works an insane construction job where he is busy from early morning on. He doesn't hang out with friends but just literally works. He's had a troubled past, been in the military, and I think runs from feelings. But I just don't know what to do, the last time I'll see him was at our event yesterday so unless I text him to ask about his feelings, which I don't really want to do considering he's awkward by text, I don't know where I stand. Do I invite him or ask him out? Or do I wait for him to pursue me? My friends think it's concerning that he didn't answer, but my other co-workers say that they can tell he's in love with me the way he looks at me and that there's something there. Ugh

[mark clemson]

IF you really want to pursue this, then yes, you'll need to text or call a couple times. Don't get your hopes up too high.

 

It sounds like he may have some psychological issues (or possibly is simply too busy for a relationship) so you might want to consider looking for someone else instead. As a woman in your 20's you should theoretically do quite well with online dating. The issue will be having to wade through all the weird guys to find the ones you think are actually good.