duchess Posted July 16, 1999 Share Posted July 16, 1999 My problem is that my long distance boyfriend of 5 years seems too afraid to move our relationship (and his life in general) forward. He is kind, respectful, attentive and a wonderful boyfriend but can't seem to make the moves it takes to help our relationship grow and I certainly can't do it alone. We have a wonderful relationship when we are together, but it is so rare these days due to the long distance and his job responsibilities. He has said all along that he wants to marry me. I suggested back in Feb that it was time for us to get engaged and for him to give me a ring. He agreed that it is time, but to date I've received nothing. He has been complaining about his current job for over a year, and keeps saying that he's going to get a new job and is job hunting in my area. (He's in Chicago I'm in Washington DC). He also has been saying for years that he's trying to finish college, loose weight, and would like to start his own business. He has no follow-thru and has accomplished none of this. I've been patiently waiting for him to wake-up smell the coffee while life is passing him (us) by. It is extremely difficult for me being an "overachiever" to continue to be patient. I am very reluctant to give up my job/career, house, friends, etc to move to be near him, especially when he shows little or no self-motivation. It'll be a new millenium soon and I don't want to spend the next 5 years waiting for him to step up to the plate. I essentially want to tell him that I am going to start seeing other people while he gets himself together (we've been seeing each other exclusively for about 3 years). If I meet someone else in the meantime, its his loss. Should I remain patient longer? Am I doing the right thing? Comments/suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Dan Posted July 17, 1999 Share Posted July 17, 1999 My problem is that my long distance boyfriend of 5 years seems too afraid to move our relationship (and his life in general) forward. He is kind, respectful, attentive and a wonderful boyfriend but can't seem to make the moves it takes to help our relationship grow and I certainly can't do it alone. We have a wonderful relationship when we are together, but it is so rare these days due to the long distance and his job responsibilities. He has said all along that he wants to marry me. I suggested back in Feb that it was time for us to get engaged and for him to give me a ring. He agreed that it is time, but to date I've received nothing. He has been complaining about his current job for over a year, and keeps saying that he's going to get a new job and is job hunting in my area. (He's in Chicago I'm in Washington DC). He also has been saying for years that he's trying to finish college, loose weight, and would like to start his own business. He has no follow-thru and has accomplished none of this. I've been patiently waiting for him to wake-up smell the coffee while life is passing him (us) by. It is extremely difficult for me being an "overachiever" to continue to be patient. I am very reluctant to give up my job/career, house, friends, etc to move to be near him, especially when he shows little or no self-motivation. It'll be a new millenium soon and I don't want to spend the next 5 years waiting for him to step up to the plate. I essentially want to tell him that I am going to start seeing other people while he gets himself together (we've been seeing each other exclusively for about 3 years). If I meet someone else in the meantime, its his loss. Should I remain patient longer? Am I doing the right thing? Comments/suggestions? being honest with you, my best friend (Carol) has a long distance relationship and its funny..........her b/f is in Washington and we live here in Chicago (go figure!!) the only thing I can say is that they normally don't work out.....its just tough......its even tougher to break it off..........I think you know my answer from this.......... Also, it sounds like he talks a good game, but just is a little too lazy yet to accomlplish his goals. hey what's his name, I'll tell him to get off his ass and move out there and marry you!! Dan Link to post Share on other sites
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