Would a therapist likely talk me out of my goal?

[ironpony]

I've been going over a lot of stress lately, over regret of my career choices, and it's been causing me to have trouble sleeping and bad dreams. My doctor recommended me to a therapist.

 

Because I have been going through so much career regret and hate the life choices, I have made, for the last few years I tried to do something I want to do, filmmaking, and I'm using a lot of my savings to get my first feature film made, hoping to get distribution out of it and then get my foot in the door that way.

 

But I'm going through a lot of stress getting everything ready for it since it's such a huge leap, at least for me. But if I go to a therapist for it, I am worried he might try to talk me out of it, and i don't want him to make me feel better about my career, to the point where I change my mind, only to look back later on and maybe regret it. Will he probably try to change my mind do you think?

[jspice]

Therapists don’t tell people what to think. They give you the tools to make your own decisions.

[ironpony]

Oh okay, but I was told that my drive to do this was being driven by low self-esteem, and desperation, so if removes that, I will be afraid I will loose the drive maybe then.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Oh okay, but I was told that my drive to do this was being driven by low self-esteem, and desperation, so if removes that, I will be afraid I will loose the drive maybe then.

 

That sounds like an odd thing to say. Who told you that?

[ironpony]

Mostly family or friends thinking that it's a bad idea or too much of a risk. But some others have said it online when I asked as well.

[snowboy91]

Therapists don’t tell people what to think. They give you the tools to make your own decisions.

 

Quoted for emphasis. The whole point is to get you to move toward whatever makes you feel fulfilled and happy, no matter what it is you are doing.

 

If you bring it up in exactly the way you did, they may end up asking why you feel you'll be talked out of it and why it's so important to you. With a much more curious than condescending approach, so answer truthfully.

 

If your therapist tries to influence you either way then they're not doing their job properly.

[d0nnivain]

Therapists help people with their mental illnesses. Career coaches help people make decisions about their lives. Neither tell you what to do. They act as sounding boards & guide posts to help you find a direction.

 

You may 1st want to think about what type of professional advice you need.

[ironpony]

Oh ok the doc referrered to a clinic, so i guess that means i pick my own from there?

[d0nnivain]

Oh ok the doc referrered to a clinic, so i guess that means i pick my own from there?

 

No the clinic will assign you to a therapist based on that person's skills, your needs & the therapists' availability. If you don't' click with the person you can probably request a change

[Foxhall]

the only reason why the therapist might try to talk you out of it would be if they see the stress as wearing you down and taking too much toll on you,

 

otherwise I imagine they will try to build your self confidence to follow your dream,

 

I have casually observed some of your postings,

 

you are quite in turmoil over it all,

 

based on how far you've gone and the mental energy you have put in,

 

I would encourage you to keep going with the films now,try to get that first feature film made and that hopefully will bring you peace of mind anyway and hopefully success too.

[Veronica73]

I think you should see a therapist. Just about every time I read your posts, I get the feeling I’m reading a post from someone who is in *maybe* their early twenties. But you are in your thirties. I don’t think having this much insecurity and dependence on other people’s opinions is normal or healthy at this age. It’s like you don’t really know who you are or something. Or how to make decisions.

 

You weren’t homeschooled were you?

[ironpony]

No I wasn't homsechooled. I actually feel the opposite compared to when I was in my early 20s. Back then I felt much more secure, but feel like I am going through a life crisis now, compared to then.

[alphamale]

V73...at first I thought ironpony was 19 years old. but I was corrected

[Veronica73]

No I wasn't homsechooled. I actually feel the opposite compared to when I was in my early 20s. Back then I felt much more secure, but feel like I am going through a life crisis now, compared to then.

 

Well, then wouldn’t this be a good time to talk to a therapist? I doubt they will try to talk you out of anything.

[ironpony]

Oh okay, it's just I felt I was sent to him to be corrected in a sense, hence he/she will try to talk me out what is 'wrong' with me.

[d0nnivain]

Oh okay, it's just I felt I was sent to him to be corrected in a sense, hence he/she will try to talk me out what is 'wrong' with me.

 

There's nothing wrong with you.

 

IMO, which shouldn't count for much because I'm just some person on the internet, you could stand to learn to plan better. That is why I suggested a career coach. Between your GF, your living situation, your job stressors & your desire to make movies you are at loose ends. You need a direction / a plan & a means to get moving.

 

Honestly I don't see where a therapist is going to help you all that much. I don't pick up depression or unmanageable anxiety with you. I see a guy who is floundering about his life choices. That's career coach material.

[ironpony]

Oh okay, it's that that I was having insomnia problems, for the past few months and the doctor referred me to a therapist because of it. Maybe the therapist deals with the insomnia part of it more?

[d0nnivain]

The therapist can address the insomnia. But I suspect your inability to sleep is also tied to your stress & uncertainty about your career. A therapist isn't the best person to help you fix that.

[carhill]

But I'm going through a lot of stress getting everything ready for it since it's such a huge leap, at least for me. But if I go to a therapist for it, I am worried he might try to talk me out of it, and i don't want him to make me feel better about my career, to the point where I change my mind, only to look back later on and maybe regret it. Will he probably try to change my mind do you think?

Competent therapy is about clarifying your particular goals and psychology and giving you tools to make such decisions like pursuing filmmaking, or not. The therapist should never advocate for a certain decision, rather help you understand within yourself, from your perspective, the dynamics of that decision, the path to it, how you feel about that path and the impacts to you in your life.

 

It's easy to interview a therapist and gain an understanding of their style. You're the boss. You task the therapist to reach the goal for your therapy. One part I found helpful was to task the therapist to keep one on-track, not wander off into the cat ate my homework tangents, rather stay focused on the stated goal of the therapy.

[carhill]

Oh okay, it's that that I was having insomnia problems, for the past few months and the doctor referred me to a therapist because of it. Maybe the therapist deals with the insomnia part of it more?

Your post underscored why it's beneficial for a therapist to work in concert with a medical doctor and most psychologists can and do. A one-stop solution is a psychiatrist but that may not be available to you. A doctor can check physical health, body/brain chemistry, and suggest lifestyle changes or prescribe medicine to assist with getting more healthy sleep. The therapist can teach mind tools to calm the mind and help the sleep process.

 

Forex, I learned back when caregiving and under stress that leaving the TV on low was like a sleeping pill. Now I do it with my laptop on the nightstand. I can't begin to share how many documentaries I've fallen asleep during. I fall asleep, they end, the computer goes quiet and I sleep all night. A decade down the road from therapy, and finding such tools, I'll bet some of it is simply mind training. I know the blabla will put me to sleep so it happens. Find something that works for you. Train your mind.

[ironpony]

Oh okay, but are you saying that my doctor should be more involved then rather than passing me off to a psychotherapist?

[carhill]

Absolutely. A doctor is a physical health professional. The mind is arguably the most vital organ in the body. It is the essence of our sentience. It is a big electro-chemical factory. Everything that gets pounded out here starts in the mind. It can be affected by environment, diet, disease, disregulation, injury, you name it. IMO, the first place to rule out is the physical since so much is known about physical health. Granted, brain science in itself is in its infancy but still a heck of a lot more has been discovered in my relatively brief lifetime and that will continue.

 

Forex, your lack of clarity regarding your goal could be nothing more than hormone levels out of spec. Sounds simplistic but the brain is bathed in many chemicals and they impact thought processes. Same with your sleep issue. Could easily be medical. We don't know so that's what the doctor is for. When I dealt with mental illness (dementia in our case) I had a whole team of doctors helping, each with their own area of expertise, from the physical to the psychological to the neuropsychometric. Their work didn't change reality, dementia is generally terminal, but assisted in understanding it and augmenting quality of life.

 

If you got regular and sound sleep, do you think your quality of life would be impacted? How? Why? You can deal with it yourself, with varying success, but their are professionals out there to help if you want them to.

[SumGuy]

You have nothing to lose talking to therapist and they may well provide you with techniques to help you deal with anxiety.

 

Personally I see nothing wrong with you pursuing a passion or dreams, it's not like you are abandoning wife and kids to do so.

 

I've known a few people over my life that have tried to break into the film industry. Making your own film is great! It is true making, you should be proud of it no matter how good it turns out, it is more complex than people who have never done it realize. Even a 15 minute short. The amount of organization, self motivation and attention to detail required is huge. If I saw that on someones resume it would be a big positive to me even if hiring them for something completely different.

 

I'll say of those I've known who have done it they were pretty disorganized otherwise and their attention to detail seemed more like obsession.

 

Yes it is good to make some smart life choices to put food in the belly and a roof over your head, but filter out the nay sayers. Art often requires passion, yes it is an old saw that suffering can fuel art, and if it helps you deal with suffering is that bad?

 

People who are afraid of even calculated risk, of creating, who need a 9-5 job, who never spent nights, days, months fueled by a passion to create; be it art, intense programming, learning guitar, doing research, even body building, will never understand and will always view such passion and dedication as odd, as unhealthy. Could it be any other way? Living the status quo and business as usual never led to invention, to great art, and the staus quo is just another word for how most people live.

 

Don't blame them though, as you are finding society is not set up or pleasant for people who decide to live another way.

 

Having been around such creative people my entire adult life, and even practicing what I preach, people who make will respect your effort, your determination even if what you end up making is not a financial success.

 

I'm sure you know that even great artists often were never recognized or even understood in their day (Van Gogh pops to mind, maybe not a great example ), and so it can be very hard to achieve societies recognition even for good artists.

 

A good therapist will help you deal with the inevitable stress and anxiety that kind of life can lead to, and also help keep you objective and not let your passion destroy your life, like literally in being homeless, drug addicted, etc. If you are good with living poor to pursue your dream then who is to say otherwise?

[ironpony]

It's true, I am not loosing a wife and kids over it, I just worry that it would be a waste of money, especially since you could use it to by a house or something that is a lot more guaranteed in comparison.

[SumGuy]

It's true, I am not loosing a wife and kids over it, I just worry that it would be a waste of money, especially since you could use it to by a house or something that is a lot more guaranteed in comparison.

That is true.

 

It is not without risk and would not expect it to solve your financial problems, if any. However, isn't this what co-producers are for

 

At least these days you have a free distribution channel with youtube and the like.

 

A good therapist could help you think about this.