anxiety_aerial Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 this may be the wrong thread. but i'm having some problems with handling insecurity sometimes. Me and this girl are about to start dating. and i desperately need some advice in handling my own insecurities without coming over as an insecure person. is this possible? Any advice would be highly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 I don’t think it’s possible to hide your insecurities. That’s you pretending to be somebody you’re not. It’s best if you can work through them and actually become someone with healthy self-esteem or whatever insecurities you’re having. Then you can stay true to you and you’ll be a better partner. People pick up on insincerity. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 Any advice would be highly appreciated. Well, there are some instincts we've developed over time that actually are beneficial. Nothing wrong with being skeptical about things until they're proven. But if your insecurity goes beyond that, might be something you'd want to discuss with someone. Do you have access to counseling through work or school? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 A wise Hindu man once told me "Control the controllables"; meaning if you can't control it, don't worry about it. Are you worried she will leave you one day?? Are you worried she'll find someone better?? What (exactly) are you insecure about?? You can't control the actions of another person. Enjoy each day you have with her (to the fullest). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 You can control your insectaries in the sense that you may still have them but you can learn to keep your own counsel & not tell everybody else that you are upset / concerned / freaking out. Also work on your self esteem. One good exercise is to brainstorm about all the things you are good out -- from the profound to the trivial e.g. I'm a loyal friend to I make great scrambled eggs. brainstorm. Freethink. Just write & write & write about all the good qualities & characteristics. Then stick your list in a drawer. In a week take it out & add to it. Then stick it in a drawer. Then asking people close to you to write a list. Actually read what they give you. then stick those lists in a drawer. About a week later pull all the lists out & recopy them so there is only 1 notation for each quality. Stick the whole thing back in a drawer. Then about a week after that pair it down to about half. Stick it back in the drawer. Finally pair it down to the top 10. Type those up neatly & read that list every day until you believe you are a quality person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted October 9, 2019 Share Posted October 9, 2019 If you get attention from an attractive girl, I am not saying that will cure all your insecurities but it will help and it will boost your confidence, two things- on the first date or two, try to be as positive as possible- dont say anything negative to a woman is a good rule in the early stages, if you click with her and feel a bond you can then open up more and reveal some insecurities a few dates in, be a good listener to begin with, be interested in her life , ask questions, try to keep the conversation flowing, dont be thinking too much about yourself, just go with the flow and enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
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