How to be happy when you are perpetually single and childless?

[Springsummer]

What's the meaning of life? eat, sleep? I do have a few hobbies and a lovely cat.

 

when I was young, I was hopeful and full of dreams. Now at a certain age, life seems hopeless.

 

yes, dream shattered as well. just today. This guy I have been infatuated about...I thought he likes me for a while. because he kept looking, stare and looked smitten, in situations where we quickly cross paths.

 

Today, we directly walked toward each other's direction for a 'long' distance, so there is no excuse not to say hello. It became inevitable to face the reality. He didn't keep looking and smile at me and didn't say hello first. finally when we about to walk pass each other, I said hi, and he said hi after he already passed me.

 

surely, he doesn't really like me. If he does, he will take the chance to do something. shattered dream. just like the title of another thread. only my dream lasted 1.5 years.

 

Life, and people just never turn out the ways I imagined. It's no doubt I will be single forever.

 

How to find fun and joy in life? (I can't ski and snowboard every day)

 

When I was young I watched so many romantic novel (not erotic) and movie. I was really into them. I was really an idealistic person. now, it hurts me to read and watch such things. They are just not true.

 

I guess maybe it's good in a way that my bubble burst? the truth will set me free?

 

Or just get whoever and have a child and become a single mother before time completely run out?

Edited October 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
merge multiple posts

[Happy Lemming]

...only my dream lasted 1.5 years.

 

I'm a bit confused... Have you been actively trying to date the past 1.5 years or have you been waiting for this one particular guy to ask you out for 1.5 years?? Do you even know if he is single??

[Springsummer]

I'm a bit confused... Have you been actively trying to date the past 1.5 years or have you been waiting for this one particular guy to ask you out for 1.5 years?? Do you even know if he is single??

 

um, only last summer, my supervisor said 'are they dating'? when we saw him lunch with a lady.

 

even if he is single, one may wonder how many he has slept over the last 1.5 years.

 

SAD. Pathetic! I know!!! suicidal.

Edited October 12, 2019 by Springsummer

[Happy Lemming]

um, only last summer.

 

So you've only been actively trying to date for 3-4 months?? I think you need to keep trying to actively date. Are you going places to meet people?? Are you talking to new people?? Do you socialize?? Have you talked to any men while you are skiing or snowboarding??

 

The gentleman in question (at your building) may have a steady girlfriend and only slept with her for the past 1.5 years, thus the reason he hasn't asked you out. You know very little about this individual, other than he is single and went to lunch with a woman.

[Springsummer]

So you've only been actively trying to date for 3-4 months?? I think you need to keep trying to actively date. Are you going places to meet people?? Are you talking to new people?? Do you socialize?? Have you talked to any men while you are skiing or snowboarding??

 

The gentleman in question (at your building) may have a steady girlfriend and only slept with her for the past 1.5 years, thus the reason he hasn't asked you out. You know very little about this individual, other than he is single and went to lunch with a woman.

 

a bit? I have never found anybody attractive.

 

It's killing me. what an idiot I am. surely I can't expect him to be single and chaste like me all this time. heck, I am not sure if he is single.

 

I am not so brave as the guy whom I mentioned in another thread who just came to my office and asked if I am single.

 

surely he would have tried to talk to me if he has been single all these time and interested. no man is that shy?

 

Life...more than I am equipped to deal with.

 

It's easy for me to develop fixation and idealize someone. I need to broaden my taste and just try. Is it too late to wake up/wise up at such a mature age?

Edited October 12, 2019 by Springsummer

[alphamale]

how old are you? and have you ever been screened for mental illness?

[Springsummer]

how old are you? and have you ever been screened for mental illness?

 

Have you ever?

[Happy Lemming]

I need to broaden my taste and just try. Is it too late to wake up/wise up at such a mature age?

 

Yes... continue to try. Taking a proactive approach to any goal is more favorable to a passive (wait and hope) approach.

 

Its never too late to seek happiness.

[amaysngrace]

The key is to be happy being single. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. You’re with you 24/7.

 

Practice self-love.

[basil67]

Have you ever?

 

It's a fair question SS. You've got some things happening which are very much holding you back from being able to meet someone. At the very least, the ability to greet someone you see sometimes with a smile and a hello is a basic social skill. I would advise you spend some time dealing with your insecurites that hold you back.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I think my life is much more fun and enjoyable than those that change 1 ****ty nappy after another while pierced by incessant child screaming. And then they wake up to a fat, graying husband with bad breath that hogs the bed and asks for a hand job because he can’t get it up any other way. All the while he is jerking off to thoughts of his 21 year old secretary. If only she gave him the time of day....

 

Because that’s the dream you are aspiring to.

[Foxhall]

lol ES, I imagine you are quite sharp but I do enjoy your posts:)

 

yes some pluses to being single too or by single I mean not living with someone,

 

you can do your own thing when you want,and take off get away from it all

 

I see some acquaintances of mine they can hardly get out of the house with having to mind young kids and so on,

 

not sure Id fancy that either.

 

springsummer you should embrace this freedom, get out travelling , taking part in more things you enjoy,

let that free spirit come out.

[chillii]

I think my life is much more fun and enjoyable than those that change 1 ****ty nappy after another while pierced by incessant child screaming. And then they wake up to a fat, graying husband with bad breath that hogs the bed and asks for a hand job because he can’t get it up any other way. All the while he is jerking off to thoughts of his 21 year old secretary. If only she gave him the time of day....

 

Because that’s the dream you are aspiring to.

 

 

 

 

Hey , he might be waking up to a fat graying misses with bad breath hogging the bed too and getting off to God knows who on the side, not many married guys l see l envy not one bit let me tell ya.,

Either way is only that aspiring dream for some though , not all, we choose.

Edited October 12, 2019 by chillii

[chillii]

um, only last summer, my supervisor said 'are they dating'? when we saw him lunch with a lady.

 

even if he is single, one may wonder how many he has slept over the last 1.5 years.

 

SAD. Pathetic! I know!!! suicidal.

 

 

Who knows if he's single or not but l don't think he's been staring in that way sorry to say or he surely would've done something long ago.

There's lots of reasons you might stare a bit at someone , even simply because they stare at you or put out a vibe around you which is often what we do even if we thought we covered it, when we like someone. We're different.

Women in particular are often very transparent in that way no matter how cool she tries to act.

 

But it'd really help you out working on just putting out a bit more open and friendliness, try working on just being a bit more out going. You know women that show nothing are really hard to approach.

l know you went on a limb said hi, good job even if it didn't go anywhere.

But you know , l'm not saying it's a shy thing with you but just for example shy people have to do that l've known a few for years they're different people these days , make friends easily and great to talk too.

lt'd probably really help at least just brighten life up yaknow.

Just a thought.

Edited October 12, 2019 by chillii

[elaine567]

There is no fairy godmother, no handsome prince scouring the nation to come find you.

You have to create opportunity and you have to be able to recognise opportunity even if it doesn't come in the package you think you want.

[BaileyB]

It’s really very naive to expect a man in your office to just walk up to you one day and ask you out. How is he supposed to know that you like him if you have never talked with him? To wait a year and a half, hoping that one day he would do this is a little unreasonable. To then become this upset because you have now realized, your fantasy isn’t going to happen, is also a little much.

 

It’s never too late to find someone. But, you have to take a more realistic view of dating and put yourself out there - expecting that there will be rejection along the way and learning to deal with that it a realistic and healthy way.

[Mr. Lucky]

Now at a certain age, life seems hopeless.

 

You may be of "a certain age", but romantically you're acting like a twelve-year old.

 

Put yourself out there, you'll never hunker down in your cubicle and have Mr. Right come beat the door down looking for you.

 

Next time you pass him, say "Hey, see you here all the time, I'm Springsummer..."

 

If he's not interested, lather, rinse and repeat with someone else...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Springsummer]

It’s really very naive to expect a man in your office to just walk up to you one day and ask you out.

 

Put yourself out there, you'll never hunker down in your cubicle and have Mr. Right come beat the door down looking for you.

 

I had exactly someone who did just that a couple weeks ago, as mentioined in one of my threads. except they are not mr. right

 

You may be of "a certain age", but romantically you're acting like a twelve-year old.

I know

 

I guess the bottom line is, if someone wants you badly enough, he will take actions.

 

This ONE is not, unfortunately.

[Springsummer]

I think my life is much more fun and enjoyable than those that change 1 ****ty nappy after another while pierced by incessant child screaming. And then they wake up to a fat, graying husband with bad breath that hogs the bed and asks for a hand job because he can’t get it up any other way. All the while he is jerking off to thoughts of his 21 year old secretary. If only she gave him the time of day....

 

Because that’s the dream you are aspiring to.

 

lol...that's why I am single. there are also the other side of the same coin though.

[Springsummer]

Who knows if he's single or not but l don't think he's been staring in that way sorry to say or he surely would've done something long ago.

There's lots of reasons you might stare a bit at someone , even simply because they stare at you or put out a vibe around you which is often what we do even if we thought we covered it, when we like someone. We're different.

Women in particular are often very transparent in that way no matter how cool she tries to act.

 

I thought I saw light/fire in his eyes too.

 

in the past, every attractive guys turned out to have a gfs too. BUT, I got the sense if I put myself out there, they wouldn't want to turn me down.

 

seems ALL men are like this: Have their cake and wouldn't mind to eat something else too.

 

I hide myself very well, I think. but I think he feels the vibe. and he is not doing anything. therefore, sadly I have to conclude the feeling is mutual. sigh, in life I just never get what I want.

 

May be it's a good thing not to have children: Life is not that funny anyway.

Edited October 12, 2019 by Springsummer

[alphamale]

seems ALL men are like this: Have their cake and wouldn't mind to eat something else too.

 

nice guys are not like that...they'll do whatever you say and follow you around like a puppy. oh i forgot women don't like nice guys

[basil67]

seems ALL men are like this: Have their cake and wouldn't mind to eat something else too.

 

SS, what are you blaming him for? It's hardly like he has a girlfriend and showed interest in you too.

[basil67]

I guess the bottom line is, if someone wants you badly enough, he will take actions.

 

This ONE is not, unfortunately.

 

No. The bottom line is that if you want an outcome enough, you'll never achieve it if you take zero action.

[chillii]

I thought I saw light/fire in his eyes too.

 

in the past, every attractive guys turned out to have a gfs too. BUT, I got the sense if I put myself out there, they wouldn't want to turn me down.

 

seems ALL men are like this: Have their cake and wouldn't mind to eat something else too.

 

I hide myself very well, I think. but I think he feels the vibe. and he is not doing anything. therefore, sadly I have to conclude the feeling is mutual. sigh, in life I just never get what I want.

 

May be it's a good thing not to have children: Life is not that funny anyway.

 

 

 

 

Yep he's def felt it that's why he's acted the way he has. For some reason he won't do anything about it either he has someone or he thinks your not right for him anyway just isn't feeling that way, who knows but it's something like that.

Edited October 12, 2019 by chillii

[basil67]

Yep he's def felt it that's why he's acted the way he has.

 

I'm confused chillii, I thought he was acting like a guy who simply has zero interest in either friendship or romance with the OP. What do you see which makes you think differently? Genuine question.