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contacting the ex


crispytoast

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We broke up two years ago and I'm still having difficulty moving past it. I've been with quite a few other people since then but I still think about her a lot. She was the only person that I've ever truly let to get close to me and I learned a lot about myself, some good and some bad. Neither of us were perfect and there's many reasons we broke up. I was an arsehole throughout the relationship and in hindsight I'm shocked that she stayed with me for so long (3 years). She did a lot of things too and it was a messy relationship, but I forgive her for those things. I am having difficulty forgiving myself though. I don't let people get close to me and when I meet a woman that I'm really into, I tend to sabotage it in my head: I'm not good enough and the person will inevitably be disappointed in me when everything comes to a close.

 

She has someone new and is doing really well in life and I'm happy for her. Not so much for myself. I'm trying to figure out how to move past this and lately I've been toying with the idea of messaging her an apology. I guess I feel like I can't really move past it without admitting to my mistakes. Is this a bad idea? I am feeling quite lost.

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You need to use the "alert" button to get them to notice.

 

Meanwhile, you learned something from that relationship about yourself, so it wasn't for naught. You'll feel better when you do better next time.

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I feel ya man. It’s been nearly two years and I still think about her and get depressed often. I sent an apology for some things I said after I found out she moved on so quickly. Never heard back from her. She was kind of a mean person anyway and I should’ve expected silence.

 

It seems like some of us take a whollllle lot longer to get over people. Or maybe just a long time to get over certain people

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It seems like some of us take a whollllle lot longer to get over people. Or maybe just a long time to get over certain people

Yeah man.. the messed up thing is I broke up with her. She never stopped fighting for the relationship until I started hooking up with other people. When I look back I cant help but think of so many things I could've done better but I really just didn't know how to navigate the relationship properly at the time. We are better off without each other but it has left some pretty deep scars that have me feeling unworthy of loving someone new.

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I broke up with my ex several times during the relationship and wanted to break up with her in the end but she did it first. I felt completely justified in my desire to leave...she was not a great girlfriend to me. But damn I loved her so much.

 

She moved on quickly with someone much younger and more attractive than me. That cut deeeeep. Like you, we are probably better off apart. So why does the pain still linger? Is this an ego thing? I really cant figure it out.

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