HiCrunchy Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 because they say I'm not attracted to them? I've been using advice from love shack to try dating guys that I might not be instantly physically attracted but might grow to like based on their personality. These are guys in my mind are "neutral" in terms of looks, so they aren't unattractive, just ok. At the end of the first date, they usually conclude that I am not physically attracted to them or don't see them as a romantic partner. They mention that I'm friendly, fun and keep the conversation going but also a bit distant (possibly because I'm not physically attracted?), more like talking with an acquaintance or friend, not someone you are into sexually or romantically. Because of this, they don't want to see me again usually. Idk what to do now.... I've tried everything... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Why do you want to keep seeing them? Perhaps be a bit more overt in your interest. At the end of the date, point black say you'd like to go out again before the guy has a chance to voice his doubts about your level of attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 don't do your hair, don't wear makeup and wear dowdy clothes with grandma shoes in other words you're too good looking for them Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 (edited) Why would you go on a date with someone you are not physically attracted to? Sounds like the worst possible advice ever. When people meet it's the initial physical attraction that makes them want to get to know that person and see if the personality matches. If you don't find someone attractive at the start it's a recipe for disaster, as you have found out. Edited October 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Honey, those guys are probably still waiting for a date to act like women act in a porn video, come on strong sexually, because they've watched too much fiction! You wouldn't want them anyway. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 "that woman is too hot....I have to get rid of her"... Said no man ever..... I've seen women do this with good looking guys, but primarily because they feel the guy is too into himself, or they don't want the constant attention from other women he will elicit...So they pick from further down the trough....But guys wont generally do this...At the very least they will take it for as long as they think they can get away with it... I believe you are getting bullshytted….Its something else and they are just pulling from the bag of "its not you, its me" nonsense.... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 I agree with FOTH. Men will damn near put up with anything to keep a good looking woman by their side. Read around here and the guys who are suffering the most to get back with their girls always describe her as extremely hot. They don't throw these girls away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiCrunchy Posted October 13, 2019 Author Share Posted October 13, 2019 I think they can sense I don't feel that instant sexual attraction for them. So they reject me because they dont want to wait that I might potentially feel sexual feelings for them some day because I cant guarantee that day will ever come. It's also frustrating for me because I'm getting rejected now by people I'm not even that into, just because people have told me I'm too picky. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Why would you go on a date with someone you are not physically attracted to? Sounds like the worst possible advice ever. Because how would you know if you're physically attracted to someone without having spent time with them? A personality can make or break attraction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 So if you do want a second date to find out if they're fun or not, then you have to fake being friendly and interested. I didn't say sexy. Honestly, all you have to do is smile at them genuinely, which they will view as (well, prettier when you smile) and interested and approachable. You cannot sit with someone new with a sourpuss on and convey interest. You have to learn to smile at people. I wish I'd done it more when young, but I had an image to maintain And it doesn't come naturally to me. But it's your face. You can make it do whatever you want. Raising your eyebrows also denotes interest. I am 68 and fat and double chin and limping, and if I smile at even a stranger, I can usually get a greeting out of them or a conversation. People like friendly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Crunchy, would you have seen any them again if given the opportunity? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 Because how would you know if you're physically attracted to someone without having spent time with them? A personality can make or break attraction. Us men need 5 seconds to look at a woman and we can tell if we are physically attracted to her or not, no need to spend time with them. In those 5 seconds we make a decision would we ever sleep with them, would we want them as just a FWB or is there potential for a wifey. I forgot you women are completely different.. my bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 'Us men need 5 seconds to look at a woman and we can tell if we are physically attracted to her or not, no need to spend time with them. In those 5 seconds we make a decision would we ever sleep with them, would we want them as just a FWB or is there potential for a wifey.' Wow! Explains a lot Flame Aura Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 "that woman is too hot....I have to get rid of her"... Said no man ever..... I've met/known many men that were intimidated by attractive women. The more attractive she was the more intimidated they were. Happens all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HiCrunchy Posted October 13, 2019 Author Share Posted October 13, 2019 'Us men need 5 seconds to look at a woman and we can tell if we are physically attracted to her or not, no need to spend time with them. In those 5 seconds we make a decision would we ever sleep with them, would we want them as just a FWB or is there potential for a wifey.' Wow! Explains a lot Flame Aura I'm the same way and I'm a woman. Except, it's rare that I find that instant attraction. Most men dont spark that in me. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted October 13, 2019 Share Posted October 13, 2019 How does this dumping after first date happen? They don't ask you out again? Then how did you find out why they don't want to see you again? The thought process you described is how women think: "the guy is not that attracted to me, I'm not going to see him again". Men don't think that way. It is very unusual to find out why someone is not interested. After only one date, they're not going to explain to you the real reason. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 14, 2019 Share Posted October 14, 2019 I've met/known many men that were intimidated by attractive women. The more attractive she was the more intimidated they were. Happens all the time. Well....I don't know what to tell you there....maybe they are gay... Maybe you are referring to guys that wouldn't approach an attractive woman for fear of rejection...That's a whole nuther story... I have knows guys who have stayed with women who were certified mental cases, single digit IQ's, drug addictions, etc.. just because they had a great body... Ill say it again...Practically no guy that is actively dating or is in a relationship with an attractive woman will let her go easily.... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted October 14, 2019 Share Posted October 14, 2019 Just keep going. You wanted to allow yourself to give a try guys who are outside your normal attraction zone. That's fine ... But ... you're not going to feel the energy with most of these folks outside your zone. But keep going ... just to see ... you need to see a lot of people (even inside our attraction) to find someone we are hot for. You're doing nothing wrong. Sounds like these guys are quite sharp in picking up your lack of interest, despite your outward friendliness. Might there be something to learn from their sharpness. Sounds it surprises you how sharp these guys outside your normal zone are. Just keep up the experiment!!!!!! See what you can learn from hanging with these guys. Might be that you can notice great qualities ... that then you can look for ... in the guys who are in your normal zone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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