Author FoodLo Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 I do understand what you mean. I don't know why I do that. It's like a reaction of mine. She was talking about that guy but was also like "I wanna go with you". And my reaction was just like "oh actually go with him" and I said that cause I was hurt. Well as it turns out she was hurt by me saying that. Everytime we see eachother I feel this tension between us. It's like really flirty. I don't know what to do. I think her and that guy are still talking and I haven't texted her in like a week. She hasn't texted me either although she has something I am missing at her place. But she never told me she had that Item because I didn't know who had it. She isn't texting me about it either... So she probably waits for me to text her. //I can't edit the post above anymore: And if she actually wants to date me, why is she telling me about other guys? And why is she asking me about other girls? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 ASK HER OUT ON A PROPER DATE. Cards on table. no ambiguity, no faffing about, no joking around, a proper date. (Let's hope she hasn't given up on you in the meantime...) Faint heart never won fair maiden. We were supposed to go on one like 2 weeks ago but due to certain circumstances it couldn't happen. I haven't suggested another and neither has she... :/ Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 Stop all this "You should go out with him", "I am going out with her" stuff. That is what friends do and you want her to now see you as a serious lover who wants her and her alone. Act like a lover. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 We were supposed to go on one like 2 weeks ago but due to certain circumstances it couldn't happen. I haven't suggested another and neither has she... :/ Again wishy washy on your part. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 You're just hanging out at this point. You'll end up in the friendzone if you don't make a move soon -- and it might already be too late if this has gone on longer than a few dates because no forward movement shows fear and fear is a big turnoff to women in men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 I said that one of my friends already finished the assignment. So she was like "ask him how it was" and I was like "sure I will ask her". And her answer was like "ohh it's a girl. Who is she?? Are you getting all the girls??" Like what? That is not a reasonable reaction, is it? That just means she's territorial. It doesn't mean that she wants you that close to her friends. You still haven't been brought around the friends, have you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 17, 2019 Author Share Posted October 17, 2019 (edited) That just means she's territorial. It doesn't mean that she wants you that close to her friends. You still haven't been brought around the friends, have you? <---- She does not know this girl and this girl is not a friend of hers. Wait I don't understand what you mean? Sorry. So the thing is, we are in uni right now. She is not from the place we go to uni to and neither am I. Her close/best friends here (where we both go to uni) all know about me. She takes me to her friends a lot even tho I am not a part of this friends group and most of them don't really know me personally. They are the ones always joking about us dating. The only people that don't know about me are her best friends from home but she tells them everything else except stuff about me. Edited October 17, 2019 by FoodLo Link to post Share on other sites
vv3469802 Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Oh dude, please, listen to me as carefully as you can. I read all topic about your problem and I want to share one story with you. There is one girl in my life, whos behavior is the same as your girlfriend. She protects yourself from "all sides" because if you find someone instead of her, she won't cry about. Why? - She just isn't dating wit you! Meantime she still a possibility for hangout with you. That's so tricky system built by some girls for protecting herself. If I were you ... hmm sounds strange because I have the same situation) Ok, If I were you, I would try to find another girl which will be more open mind than your one. In your case it much easier than if you know her for years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 (edited) Oh dude, please, listen to me as carefully as you can. I read all topic about your problem and I want to share one story with you. There is one girl in my life, whos behavior is the same as your girlfriend. She protects yourself from "all sides" because if you find someone instead of her, she won't cry about. Why? - She just isn't dating wit you! Meantime she still a possibility for hangout with you. That's so tricky system built by some girls for protecting herself. If I were you ... hmm sounds strange because I have the same situation) Ok, If I were you, I would try to find another girl which will be more open mind than your one. In your case it much easier than if you know her for years. I'm doing that right now. I am distancing myself and try to meet as many new people as I can. She is not worth the struggle. I also don't tell her about the dates I will go on in the next week(s). If she wants me, she should want me because it's me and not because there are other women and she wants to be the one I chase. Edited October 18, 2019 by FoodLo Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Wait I don't understand what you mean? Sorry. The only people that don't know about me are her best friends from home but she tells them everything else except stuff about me. her making noises like she was jealous is just her not liking someone else having the focus of your attention, no matter how innocuous. That's a trait that can be applied to both opposite sex friends as well as same sex friends--she doesn't like sharing her friends. Doesn't mean she wants you in her inner circle of friends at home, which she would be far closer to than the people she's only met while at college. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 18, 2019 Author Share Posted October 18, 2019 her making noises like she was jealous is just her not liking someone else having the focus of your attention, no matter how innocuous. That's a trait that can be applied to both opposite sex friends as well as same sex friends--she doesn't like sharing her friends. Okay, now I get what you mean. Assuming she does not like me and just does not wanna share me as a friend with other people, I have to admit that this is a pretty toxic trait. Hey, another reason I shouldn't like her considering that I am probably the most extroverted and open-minded person ever. I love having a broad group of friends and not just an inner circle of 3 people. Doesn't mean she wants you in her inner circle of friends at home, which she would be far closer to than the people she's only met while at college. Makes sense. Although, against your opinion, I would still consider myself one of the people she is closest to in college. ---- And to add one thing: if she wouldn't do all this stuff that makes me think she might like me, I would actually think we both would be probably best friends. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 I would still consider myself one of the people she is closest to in college. Your complaint is about her long term friends at home not knowing about you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 19, 2019 Author Share Posted October 19, 2019 Your complaint is about her long term friends at home not knowing about you. Yes it is, and that's why I don't understand why she literally tells me every single bit about her life but doesn't tell her friends a single bit about me? Actually, a friend told me that she might just not be telling her friends in front of me but when she is not with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Inspire Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 We are definitely not outspokenly dating! We are just really, really, really close. Like everything except kissing and sex. Like she tells me stuff that no one else knows and so do I. This doesn't sound like you're "dating" at all. I got on Tinder because she talked about the guy she went on a date with. So I just wanted to show her that I am not just waiting for her either... What are you waiting for? You two talked about getting together once before, but it was left up in the air after your plans fell through. Don't expect most women to initiate that move. Initiate the date and if it falls through again, then move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 29, 2019 Share Posted October 29, 2019 Does or did she ever call you BF? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 30, 2019 Author Share Posted October 30, 2019 Does or did she ever call you BF? No. And I don't expect her to. Why would she? She is shy. On another note. Recently we have been hanging out even more and started flirting more than usual. I am trying to touch her more than usually too. However, she does not touch me as much as I touch her but she always says that she enjoys it... She would let me sleep with my head on her lap, she lets me give her a back massage below her shirt (she gives me back massages too). I always ask if she is fine with whatever I do and she says yes. She also started texting me everyday before she goes to bed and right when she wakes up. I am just worried bc she does not touch me as much as I touch her but she clearly enjoys my touches. Flirting is reciprocated from both of us (especially teasing but she would also say stuff like "I can pay you back in other ways haha" At this point I will just ask her on a date otherwise I will get more and more annoyed by it. And I believe I have (almost) every reason to believe she is interested. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 31, 2019 Share Posted October 31, 2019 The only people that don't know about me are her best friends from home but she tells them everything else except stuff about me. How are you privy to every conversation she has with her friends from home? This is all speculation on your part -- you have no idea what she might've told them when you aren't around. You are acting so passive about all this. Do you want to date her or not? If so, ask her out on a proper date. It's mindboggling that you didn't reschedule the previous one the two of you were supposed to go on. You really seem to be passively sitting back waiting for her to make the move which is so....yuck. You are the man -- be assertive and take her out on a date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FoodLo Posted October 31, 2019 Author Share Posted October 31, 2019 How are you privy to every conversation she has with her friends from home? This is all speculation on your part -- you have no idea what she might've told them when you aren't around. You are acting so passive about all this. Do you want to date her or not? If so, ask her out on a proper date. It's mindboggling that you didn't reschedule the previous one the two of you were supposed to go on. You really seem to be passively sitting back waiting for her to make the move which is so....yuck. You are the man -- be assertive and take her out on a date. Yes I know, I am shy and not very assertive about it. I asked her on a date now and she said that she actually has to study tomorrow but that she will think about it and give me a definite answer as soon as possible. She hasn't said no or yes yet. She has an important meeting tonight so I am expecting a definite answer after since she is pretty stressed right now. Tbh: I was expecting a more "positive" answer... But hey, I tried and I know where I am at depending on her final answer... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 1, 2019 Share Posted November 1, 2019 Soooo if you are just hanging out why should she tell her friends about you. You aren't even dating. Link to post Share on other sites
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