Help! she loves me, im her soulmate BUT shes with someone else

[James Bond]

Hi everyone, this is my first post.

 

I met this woman 8 months ago, and this is no woman, this is THE woman. We both fell in love with each other and she thinks I'm her soulmate - I think the same of her. I feel like I'm so connected to her, we even share the same fears, same favourite colors, and many other things. It feels like if the search is ended, the search for that right person, you feel this relief at having found someone like you, your soulmate who understand you. I can really tell her everything and I'm not afraid to show her my weakness because I feel she will accept it. I never felt like this before, and she shares the same feeling, she feels safe when shes with me and shes not afraid to show me her who she really is, her soul.

I really think its the best thing in the world, probably what I live for, thats why I'm willing to do anything for her.

Anyway after 5 months I had trouble with my grades at University so I decided to take a break from her, it was painful because I knew that I was taking a huge risk, we both cried. I knew that it was the right thing to do, I couldnt always be there for her during my exams. During this break we still kept seeing each other, until august when for 3 entire weeks I didnt see her, I was studying a lot and I was busy. She was obiously upset and told me that she felt like College was more important than her - it wasnt. She didnt tell me about her being upset until a month later. Anyway after these 3 weeks she dropped a bomb on me - not literally - she told me she was seeing someone else. she actually asked a guy out! which is fine because she was single at the time. I was devastated. I asked why she made came to this decision and she told me because I kept letting her down during those 3 weeks. She says shes not ready to be with me because she knows the relationship will lead to marriage and shes not reay for it but shes ready to see the other guy cos it would be "laid back". I told her that I'm willing to wait forever for her. All my friends think this is a pathetic explenation from her side however I really trust her and I'm willing to give her space, I dont want to press the issue. Anyway I sent her flowers at work, apoligized 100 times, I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE to show her that shes more important than anything else in my life!

 

I made I mistake when I broke up with her ,I know, because I wasnt ready, now I'm feeling the same agony she felt, waiting for that second chance minute by minute, wondering what the other is doing. I would really do anything for her, and I'm even willing to give up my dreams. I just I love her so much.

 

and this is the part you gonna love

 

She asked if she can move in with me as a flatmate... This is something we have been planning for a long time, since we were together and even after we broke up we still kept talking about it. I basically said yes, and shes moving in at the end of october. The guy shes seeing knows about her moving him and it dosnt seem to bother him. Now, the person she is seeing dosnt know that she loves me, shes keeping everything secret from him, I threatned to tell him everything but she has pleaded me not to because she dosnt want to lose him. I really think he deserves to know. She calls me in the middle of the night and tells me that she loves me and that she misses me, shes always asking me when Im going to marry her. Isnt that like cheating? I kinda feel sorry for the other guy. Its a really confusing situation, Its like if she wants to have both world.

 

I got carried away, but hope that makes sense. Some of you might think im insane, but this is what love is about. its about giving, you never question your own well being or happiness. happiness is found not in the care of your own self, but in the abandonment of it.

[Aimée]

I asked why she made came to this decision and she told me because I kept letting her down during those 3 weeks.

She's stupid and immature for acting like a spoiled kid who pays it back to someone when he doesn't comply to her wishes. Unless you completely ignored her and didn't even write her some short messages or emails I'd say it's ok when someone needs to concentrate on the things that are important at the moment.

 

Maybe she is also paying you back for this:

Anyway after 5 months I had trouble with my grades at University so I decided to take a break from her,

It's kind of understandable if she felt hurt then and you can bet that she probably didn't forget it so easily.

 

I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE to show her that shes more important than anything else in my life!

WHAT IN THE FREAKING HELL DID YOU DO??????? And if your ex-girlfriend had any sense in this world she would kick your ass for doing such a foolish thing.

 

Now, the person she is seeing dosnt know that she loves me, shes keeping everything secret from him, I threatned to tell him everything but she has pleaded me not to because she dosnt want to lose him. I really think he deserves to know. She calls me in the middle of the night and tells me that she loves me and that she misses me, shes always asking me when Im going to marry her.

I think I'm going nuts... This is not real, is it? Is it like in this song "torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool, yadda, yadda, yadda"? Or is it that she's just an extremely instable person?

 

Some of you might think im insane, but this is what love is about.

This is NOT love.

 

its about giving, you never question your own well being or happiness. happiness is found not in the care of your own self, but in the abandonment of it.

Your situation is very very unhealthy and it's NOT love.

[James Bond]

This is NOT love.

 

 

Your situation is very very unhealthy and it's NOT love.

 

WHAT YOU MEAN ITS NOT LOVE?!!?

 

on her side?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Now, the person she is seeing dosnt know that she loves me, shes keeping everything secret from him, I threatned to tell him everything but she has pleaded me not to because she dosnt want to lose him.

 

Why doesn't she want to lose him? Isn't he standing directly in the path to her happiness with you as her true love and soulmate? Wouldn't telling him free her up to be with her true love and soulmate? Funny that she shows you how much she 'loves' you by pleading with you not to interfere with her relationship with her new boyfriend.

 

1. I really think he deserves to know.

2. She calls me in the middle of the night and tells me that she loves me and that she misses me, shes always asking me when Im going to marry her.

3. Isnt that like cheating?

4. I kinda feel sorry for the other guy.

5. Its a really confusing situation, Its like if she wants to have both world.

 

1. He does, and you will need to tell him. Make sure you have solid proof though - this girl sounds like a skilled liar and manipulator and for all you know she could be making you out to look like some desperate lovesick 'hangon' who doesn't want to let her go. I can guarantee you that she is lying to him bigtime if he is "ok" with her moving in with you. The guy is likely to believe her story over yours. Record the calls, print out the emails and let this guy know. DO NOT LET HER KNOW YOU ARE DOING THIS.

 

2. It would be great if you could get a recording of her saying this.

 

3. It IS cheating. She's cheating on him, and she's cheating you out of a happy relationship and future simply by refusing to let you go.

 

4. You should. Unfortunately, when you and she are together you will BE that guy. Over, and over, and over. That's what you have to look forward to with her.

 

5. She doesn't want both sides - she HAS them.

[Aimée]

WHAT YOU MEAN ITS NOT LOVE?!!?

 

on her side?

Not on hers, not on yours. It rather reminds me of a very unhealthy insane obsession that comes from instability and heaps of unresolved issues.

 

Drama, drama, drama...

[lynnered]

"During this break we still kept seeing each other, until august when for 3 entire weeks I didnt see her, I was studying a lot and I was busy. She was obiously upset and told me that she felt like College was more important than her - it wasnt. "

" was devastated. I asked why she made came to this decision and she told me because I kept letting her down during those 3 weeks."

1st of all youve only known this woman 8months YES college is more important ,thats her insecurity ,i would understand if it was U hanging out at a bar or wasteing Ur time doing nothing & not spending time with her no she is childish .

"I DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE to show her that shes more important than anything else in my life! "

get Ur A$$ back in school ,what were U thinking:mad: :mad:

U give up Ur dreams for no one hopefully U can fix this with school,if she truly gave a damn about U she would have been supportive of Ur education.

she sounds like shes using U ,dont let her move in ,U need to move on .

if she loved U & wanted to marry U she would not be involved with the other guy,U are her doormat .

""Some of you might think im insane, but this is what love is about. its about giving, you never question your own well being or happiness. happiness is found not in the care of your own self, but in the abandonment of it.""

that is not love!!U need to love yourself before U can love anyone else,&U dont sound like U do at all,abandon yourself??this is what youve done so when shes gone U have no self-esteem ,no money no education ???

and has she abandoned herself to U ??

get back in school .

leave the loser User alone .

[blind_otter]

Wow. If you're her soulmate she wouldn't be dating other people, would she? That's a weird self deception. Good luck. Stop romanticizing everything go back to school and get your own life in order.

[tanbark813]

Okay, first of all, if you feel this strongly about her, then why take a break from her? Everybody is busy, man, prioritize. I can understand her finding someone else in that time. Few people are going to wait around forever once they've been dumped.

 

Second of all, if you're going to make school your top priority (which is perfectly fine), then stick with it. What were you thinking dropping out of college? Now you have no girl and no school. Not wise.

 

Finally, don't let her move in with you. Do you really want to be laying awake in bed at night unable to sleep due to the sounds of the new guy f*cking your "soulmate" in the next room?

[jomaxfury]

My ex told me I was her soulmate and couldn't see herself with someone else.

2 years into the relationship she left me for someone else...Eventhough I was hurt. I realized I do not want to be with a girl like that. I thank god that he let go of her before I did something stupid, in my life with her.

My ex would ask the same questions about when I was going to marry her.. "Thats a red flag, because someone does not ask to get marry they show you with actions to prove that they are worthy of marriage". Sorry to sound mean but trust me..she might think she is in love but...she wants security not love and she is very insecure. I am telling you because of my experience.

Good Luck...