CharlesBomb Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Hi all... I find myself back here again trying to gain some perspective from you wonderful people out there.. So here goes... I was in a 2 year intense relationship with a great woman, she’s a single mum and does suffer with a few mental health issues, she sometimes self harmed in front of me and used to isolate at times not letting me ‘in’. The relationship crumble quickly about 3 months ago, we both got angry and said hurtful things. She blocked me on WhatsApp and I went No Contact for 3 weeks. Since then we’ve been communicating via email occasionally, at first we were just going over what went wrong, she blamed me for everything then eventually calmed down. In her last email she said she thought I was the one who wanted to end things. We eventually agreed that it was more of a case of we both got sick of it and walked away at the same time. She’s now unblocked me on WhatsApp today after 2 months apart, is this a sign that she wants me to reach out. I do still think about her a lot and would like to reconcile... but I’m afraid if I reach out she’ll react badly because of her mental health issues. So 1. Why would she unblocked? 2. Do I respond 3. Is unblocking a sign that she misses me? We’d talk marriage and kids by the way, it was a great relationship when it was good .. but a bit of a rollercoaster.. but a rollercoaster I didn’t want to get off... I’d like to work on reconciling and starting a fresh. Words of wisdom will be loved and listened to appreciatively Thanks all! Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 Why do you want to have a kid with someone with mental health issues who self-harms? I realize that "nobody's perfect" but this seems like a pretty bad idea honestly. You can't fix her and even if you could you'd have to recuse yourself being an interested party/SO. Word of wisdom: IF and only if this women gets solid treatment for her MH issues and becomes stable should you consider dating or even remotely consider marrying her. I hate to say this, but it seems the smart thing to do here is probably to walk away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 She is not breeding stock. Until she has sought out professional help for her self-harming, you shouldn't even think about getting back together. Do you think it magically fixed itself or something? Good lord, you sound like a glutton for punishment. There is a poster here named "Downtown." I'd suggest you read his stuff, because you're barking up the wrong tree. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 she sometimes self harmed in front of me Wow dude. This is a case of "I have no self-esteem and I don't believe I have any options with women, so my best bet is to try and fix a broken relationship raising another man's child with a single mother who cuts herself in front of me." She's not the best you can do. I don't know you, what you look like or what your situation in life is, but I know you can do better that this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 The relationship crumble quickly about 3 months ago, we both got angry and said hurtful things. What happened 3 months ago that triggered this? Link to post Share on other sites
Peacemaker1 Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 They are right, Charles. I would talk to someone who had been with a woman with mental issues and you might have no idea what you will be going through even though you love her. Many people have gotten burned out and eventually walk away. Seek advice from a professional and mention her symptoms because this will be a huge decision. If you still want to be with her then help her get some professional medical attention and the sooner the better. Link to post Share on other sites
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