Was doing well and in a flash coping has become next to impossible

[staygrateful]

I have been doing great with NC lately but we have children and mutual people that sometimes accidentally or randomly let things slip regarding my wife whom I'm separated with and her new bf. My step daughter let it slip today at the grocery store that she found a pregnancy test that her mom had taken! The thought of my wife having unprotected sex with some guy she just met and all the details that go along with that just flooded through my head. I started shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't even function. The NC didn't matter at that point, nothing did. The women I took and chose to be my wife, shared vows with under God has done the most disgusting act a wife can do to her husband. Funny thing was before NC she had been texting me had she had been having all this horrible anxiety etc etc which makes complete sense now. I was there to try and comfort her and it just makes me cringe. If it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't just kill myself at this point. I may need to contact the suicide hotline posted in this thread. I can't believe I am even saying that and this is what has become. 10yrs wasted. Me in love, her not ever one bit in love. What did I ever do to deserve this torture. I just want the pain to stop. My son is good, he has a loving mom and good step dad. My daughter really only has me though. If I had a large family and someone to give her the love I do I'd say goodbye to this world.

 

 

 

You cold hearted evil bitch? Did you even have any guilt as you were letting another man cum inside you?It would always just be me huh and no one else? You could never picture ever being with someone else? I just can't take these thoughts. LORD please make them go away. I've been staying busy. I had the best day I've had in so long until that came out. **** LOVE. Any man or woman who has left this world becuase of the unbearable pain I get it. True passionate love a very powerful emotion and to realize that wasn't mutual will have you thinking of doings things you never thought you would even consider. I'm so heartbroken right now. God please I need you right now more than ever!

[ajequals]

are any of there children yours or are they from separate fathers?

[staygrateful]

are any of there children yours or are they from separate fathers?

 

 

We have a child together

[spiritedaway2003]

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do. Sometimes you thought you're doing well and then things hit you. NC and all that distractions you tried don't always help when you're in the midst of things. I urge you to book yourself a counseling session to talk through some of these emotions (e.g. anger, betrayal, hurt) you're feeling. The sooner the better. It helps to talk to someone in ways that sometimes these message boards cannot. I just read your other thread, and I might add that a failed relationship doesn't mean you've failed. You can, and you will, get back up again. Hang in there.

[d0nnivain]

I'm so sorry that you are hurting. Maybe, this knowledge you have just been given will be the last nail in the coffin of your relationship & it will propel you forward emotionally because now you know there is no going back.

 

As for your communications, you share a child. NC is not an option for you. The two of you must collaborate for the best interests of your child. At best you get LC -- talking only about the kid.

 

Best wishes.

[mark clemson]

Time WILL help ease your distress, but it unfortunately will probably take longer than you'd like. When you're eventually past feelings for her and distress over what she's done, you'll be able to find someone else, should you choose to, and maybe have what you should have had and tried to have with her. In the meantime, as suggested, IC may be helpful. Finding some folks to talk about this with in real life, if you feel like doing that, might be helpful as well.

[staygrateful]

Thank you all for your kind words. Very LC is what I have been doing and it isn't I'd necessarily say helping but it's the best I can do for now. She tried to call yesterday and I didn't answer or attempt to call back. My children are old enough to speak to her on the phone so if it's something that isn't important for two adults to talk about such as for instance they left something there they want, etc I just have them call and talk to her about it. I also don't want to make it sound like I'm putting them in the middle or making them take on adult responsibilities because it's not like that at all. During drop offs and pick ups I keep it to very short and simple but also am not rude to where the children think we are fighting. I'm trying to make it smooth as possible for all of us. I do have one woman I believe is interested in me. She has been reaching out to me on social media and just giving off that vibe that she is interested. I'm not ready I don't think though. She's just not her even though she has hurt me so bad I still think of us and our family and I just can't see myself romantically involved with someone else right now. I feel like I would be comparing this woman to my wife and just becoming distracted. My self esteem is also currently destroyed from what happened as is my trust. I'm just so scared I'm going to end up alone and miserable while she lives this happy life like I didn't even matter. Anyway, I'm just doing my best to keep busy and keep my mind off her. I've been doing tons of stuff with my children and will continue the VERY LC.