thefooloftheyear Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Get a Harley and join one of those biker clubs for older folks....Those events are crawling with sexy and adventurous older women.... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 'The place in question runs about $80/person - no problem for me and a woman I'd want to take there as a date.' nospam99, I would probaby not spend $80 on a meal when I first meet someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 There is nothing conspicuous about lemonade there. I don't drink much. In any case, sorry but the resort is DRY, along with all its other 'unique' historical, natural, architectural, and geological characteristics. I actually didn't realize that. If it's the place I'm thinking of, I have always wanted to go there but I have always thought of it as more of a couple's place. That said, what about consuming your lemonade in the rockers on the porch? Would that get you more socialization? If memory serves, there are some small historical sites in the area -- Huguenot Street, small art galleries, a planetarium & some wildlife sanctuary come to mind. Could you volunteer to be a docent / guide at one of those places so you can meet new people? It's not hiking or skiing but any woman who is out & about doing things like that probably has at least the stamina you seek. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) The problem as I see it is that 65+ is seen rightly or wrongly as "old", elderly, a pensioner, the cut off point for youth. So any younger (<60) woman trying to hold on to the last vestiges of her youth wants to avoid going there. She will be there herself soon enough, why catapult herself into "elderly" issues?....... That’s not the case at all- my uncle is 65 (officially a pensioner) and is fighting younger women off with a stick. He has just started dating a 45 year old, two years older than his daughter! The trick is how you live your life and how you come across, he looks his age but he has a very youthful mindset, an effervescent personality and can relate to young people (he salsa dances, has a road worthy quad bike that gets a lot of young girls interest and does sound engineering work for his son’s band) - that’s the key imo. It’s all about attitude, mindset and whether you can really connect with your target audience. Being involved in your community in some way helps a great deal so you have activities that get you out there and meeting people also helps, if you stick to OLD then that is going to limit you more than your age. Edited October 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 That’s not the case at all- my uncle is 65 (officially a pensioner) and is fighting younger women off with a stick. He has just started dating a 45 year old, two years older than his daughter! One swallow doesn't make a summer. Your uncle does not really sound like the average 65yo man. People are always attracted to people with effervescent personalities and a youthful attitude to life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 'The place in question runs about $80/person - no problem for me and a woman I'd want to take there as a date.' nospam99, I would probaby not spend $80 on a meal when I first meet someone. $80 includes access to the grounds (hundreds of acres) and the public areas of the hotel as well as the buffet. Though pool, spa, and beach (in season) are restricted to overnight guests. I did it on a 'first meet/first date' once (following 'enough' messaging and phone talk). In that case it worked out fine but the lady and I did not sustain the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 @d0nni. Read your PM. It sounds to me that it is indeed the place you're thinking of. Great for families. Great for couples. Great for corporate retreats/team building exercises. Mediocre for singles - hookup probability less than 1%. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 I read the PM . . . hence my comment that I want to go there someday. You told me not to PM you back. Anyway. . . what about my other suggestion that you become a guide / docent at some other area attraction? There are enough attractions -- museums & historic sights / trails that you could possibly find a companion who can keep up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Anyway. . . what about my other suggestion that you become a guide / docent at some other area attraction? There are enough attractions -- museums & historic sights / trails that you could possibly find a companion who can keep up with you. I don't know ... I plead guilty to not being enthusiastic about those ideas. Though I have time for Friday and Saturday date nights and an occasional weekday dinner, between my job and home maintenance I doubt I have enough time. The guide/docents I encounter on my hiking meetups are ... ready for this ... both older and in better shape than I am. These dudes (few dudettes) are also fully retired so they have more time to dedicate to the activities. Among the things they are that I'm not: campers, hunters, fishermen, rock climbers (with ropes, pitons, and helmets - distinct from the rock scrambling I do), white-water kayakers (I limit myself to Class 2 rapids), and mountain climbers (around here that means checking off on 4000 foot peaks). Thanks for suggesting, though. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 One swallow doesn't make a summer. Your uncle does not really sound like the average 65yo man. People are always attracted to people with effervescent personalities and a youthful attitude to life. But nothing is stopping anyone having such an attitude. It’s all purely in the mind, it’s certainly not down to looks in his case. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 What about befriending one of those dudes . . .so you have a buddy / wingman & access to that person's circle of friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 @d0nni. A good idea. (Why do I feel like there's been a fire lit under my butt?) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 (Why do I feel like there's been a fire lit under my butt?) How badly do you want a companion?? In the end, you are either going to have to quit trying or lower your standards. I know you are looking for another "Natalie", but she was your unicorn and now she is gone. I think we've all had that "unicorn" and think we can obtain another one, but it never happens and we wasted time, energy and resources trying and trying. During that time we could have been enjoying the company of a non-unicorn. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 In the end, you are either going to have to quit trying or lower your standards. Since February, when I met the last woman who actually dated me, I've sent over 100 unsolicited messages on OLD and attended two speed-dating events where I 'yes-ed' seven of the twenty women I met. Seven (numerical coincidence) of the hundred some-odd OLD contacts responded positively, had long phone conversations with me, and then ghosted at the 'when shall we meet' step. None of the speed-dating women who I 'yes-ed' reciprocated. I cite this stuff only because I regard it as demonstrative that I have 'lowered my standards' enough to at least try to make contact. Maybe (likely?) there's just (several) things 'wrong' with me. I know you are looking for another ''Natalie'', but she was your unicorn and now she is gone. Natalie was 'special'. She 'pushed almost all my buttons' and for a while she acted in a way that seemed to me that I pushed her buttons as well. It would be 'super great' for me to meet 'another Natalie'. But I wouldn't know if I'd met another unicorn until dating her for a while and it would also depend on the quality of whatever rapport we'd develop. Meanwhile, in the absence of meeting ANYONE, no potential for either a unicorn or a semi-unicorn. Again, maybe there's just something wrong with me. My reason for starting this thread was to hear ideas that I hadn't thought of myself about how to deal with ONE thing that appears to be 'wrong' about me - my age. In addition to me enjoying the largely tangential posts about how much I like to hike and eat at a particular resort, y'all have been sharing some on-topic ideas. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 None of the speed-dating women who I 'yes-ed' reciprocated. I'll put a "pin" in the OLD data for now and I'd like to focus on the "Speed Dating" data (for this post). Why do you think this happened?? It seems rather strange that none of the 7 matched with you. I mean you go to a "Speed Dating" event to meet people of the opposite sex and attempt to date them, 0 out of 7 is very telling. You "yes'd" 35% of the women at the event and none of them "yes'd" you? What do you think?? Do you have a hypothesis for this statistic/anomaly?? Can you contact the (Speed Dating) coordinator and see if any of the 20 "yes'd" you?? I'd be curious what that number might be. Can you ask the coordinator for his/her opinion on how you presented?? Did you present too professional or business-like?? I'm not an expert on "Speed Dating" but I have heard that some coordinators will "coach" you one on one so you have a more successful "Speed Dating" experience. Does your coordinator offer that service?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 @HL Re: speed dating thoughts I didn't 'check out' all the 'competition'. There were certainly several of the dudes who were a lot taller than me. Just sayin' I got two yes's from women I would not have wanted to date - physically undesirable. I didn't keep score, but several of the women, maybe one out of three, were physically undesirable. The age range was 50+. The seven women I yes'ed might all have been early 50s, an age that I don't even search any more on OLD. But I'm definitely gray and in the chit-chat I certainly dropped the fact that my eldest son had just turned 30 (context of having fun family time taking all three boys to linner (sic)). So the ladies could have psyched out my age - totally germane to this thread. Any women in their 50s have the option of also attending the much more frequently scheduled 40s-50s events and playing the cougar card. I was not business-like at all. You only have six minutes. I always led with liking to hike and dance (didn't mention the skiing) and asked them what they liked to do. The coordinator is a sweetheart and HOT (I'd 'do' her in an instant). We know each other for years now and usually talk about how much trouble she has scheduling events for 40 and up because the female to male ratio is so badly tilted - lots of women, not enough men. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 I got two yes's from women I would not have wanted to date - physically undesirable. I didn't keep score, but several of the women, maybe one out of three, were physically undesirable. Well you can't change your age or your height. What you can change is your acceptance of what you deem "physically undesirable". The two that said "yes" to you, can you describe their appearance and what was off-putting?? Maybe they were really nice women... "Don't judge a book by its cover" - George Eliot Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 @HL Maybe they are really nice women. I'm not dating for pals. I'm dating for pals AND romance. This is not the only or even the primary criteria, but if my reaction to a woman does not include ''I'd like to kiss (and sleep with) her'', then I'm not going to be interested in dating her. The women on my hiking meetups are pretty much all 'really nice women'. But there has been no 'spark' nor flirt from them and, on meetups, I'm reluctant to play the 'creepy guy' card because I assume the ladies are there for the exercise and scenery rather than to be hit on. Really nice women without romantic appeal may as well be my blood relatives or guys. All that said, one of the two women who yes'ed me at speed dating was obese. I wouldn't be surprised if she took the 'shotgun approach' and yes'ed every man at the event. The other woman was overweight and had bad teeth. BTW with respect to the 'weight thing', I describe myself as 'average' and I send OLD messages to women who describe themselves as average (I send messages to the 'slender' and 'toned' women, too). I also seriously discussed meeting with a 'curvy' woman on ourtime. She contacted me, we exchanged messages, spoke on the phone, agreed to meet, selected a location, and left only the day/time unconfirmed. She came across as a 'really nice woman'. She ghosted. My point in this post is not to whine, but to answer your questions. What is is. And finding a romantic relationship at any age is a 'dance'. We're having a dialog in an 'age' thread that I started. Age is just one of many factors in whether a pair of people will be interested in a relationship with each other. Physical appeal is another. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 ...I wouldn't be surprised if she took the 'shotgun approach' and yes'ed every man at the event. If your hypothesis is true and this one woman "yes'd" everyone, we can throw that data point out. So you only had one woman out of 20 say "yes" to you. That is only 5%! What do you think the reason is for that low "yes" response rate?? I still think I would ask the coordinator for some "Speed Dating" coaching lessons, if that is a service she offers. You posted that there are more women than men trying to attend these "Speed Dating" events, yet they chose to "no" you. I'd be curious as to the reason and wondering if the coordinator may have the answer. And "no" I don't think your age is the issue/problem. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 (edited) l dunno, sounds pretty simple to me , just no one special there and mostly wrong age bracket anyway. Sounds like he knew that anyway soon as he got there but wth, gave it a run. Sounds like everywhere's just full of nothings atm nos, might be time for a bit of break and just some life instead for awhile. Edited October 24, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
Tamfana Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 (edited) My reason for starting this thread was to hear ideas that I hadn't thought of myself about how to deal with ONE thing that appears to be 'wrong' about me - my age. In addition to me enjoying the largely tangential posts about how much I like to hike and eat at a particular resort, y'all have been sharing some on-topic ideas. Well on the age issue, you could consider getting a stylist or having some work done (not necessarily plastic surgery) to look younger. Just a thought. Women do it and more men are doing it. Edited October 24, 2019 by Tamfana Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Share Posted October 24, 2019 (mostly) @HL. I wouldn't ask the coordinator because even it she was collecting feedback (did not appear to be), I'd no more expect a realistic answer than I would from asking the women directly. I believe that almost all people are too 'kind' to put someone else down when the gentle lie is always available e.g. ''I liked four or five of the other guys better and didn't think I'd have the time to meet more.'' If age is not a factor, then something else ... (Still talking the speed-dating scenario) It's only six minutes. I don't think I had enough time to be offensive, especially while trying to be friendly. Coming across as boring maybe? Other than that, maybe superficial physical stuff? Simply not 'attractive' (no gym bod here)? Or the height thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 @nospam99 I only did one "Speed Dating" event. I think mine was 8 minutes and there were 10 women and 10 men, so I really don't have a lot of experience to draw upon. My experience with "Speed Dating" felt quite rushed. I tried to scribble some notes down while moving to the next table. It just wasn't my "cup of tea". I did meet one woman for dinner (from the Speed Dating) event and after spending some time (more than 8 minutes) talking to her I knew I wanted that dinner date to end and quickly. She turned out to be a very strange individual, attractive but weird. I tried to "Judge a book by its cover" and got burned, so that was the end of "Speed Dating" for me. I do think a lot of importance is given to "physical appearance" as there isn't much time to discuss topics and get to know the other person. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted October 24, 2019 Share Posted October 24, 2019 While agree may not be an issue in general, age differential certainly is. Much more likely a woman within 5 years of your age than one 20 years your junior will say "yes" I myself would not put much stock in the results of Speed Dating, it is a very artificial situation likely only to work for a certain sub set of types and with only a certain sub set of women going. That being said, next time I'm "single" may attend one out of curiosity. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted October 25, 2019 Share Posted October 25, 2019 God no , either would l , and not only that , l'd know the second l walked in at a glance l wouldn't be interested in someone there anyway. I mean the odds out only 8 or whatever total strangers is about a million to one. See why they call it speed dating, sounds ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
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