Author nospam99 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 I have a couple of questions (if that is OK)?? Do you think the majority of women in your age range would prefer more low key activities?? Going to dinner... going to the movies/play... Antiquing... going to the symphony... (stuff like that) I'm just wondering (and I'm not making a generalization) if the majority of women in your age range don't want to do the exhaustive activities that you list on your profile. Perhaps, you could do an experiment and list different ''easier'' activities?? Gauge the responses?? Yes, the women probably prefer more low key activities. I'm not interested (yet) in 'throwing in the towel'. For now, I'd rather be single and continue hunting/fishing. I assume, primarily based on their posted age ranges, that 'younger women' (60 and below) doubt a man my age can keep up with THEM. Do you think you are being too picky?? Personally, I don't mind ''chunky'' or ''chubby'' women and I don't mind women who are older than me. My general rule (for age) is 10 years +/-. Change your profile settings to include some of the non-athletic & older women. Again, gauge the responses?? I'm not saying you have to have a long term relationship with these women, just gauge the response rate. Yes, I'm guilty of being picky. And I already get unsolicited messages from chunky, chubby, non-athletic, and older women. The response rate from that demographic is there even without me changing my profile. As I admit, I'm picky - and not interested in 'going there' at this stage in my life. Being older, I do think the number of women available is much less than a younger man. As people age, they do become more cynical and distrustful and don't want to deal with dating. True. I started this thread to see if folks, especially my contemporaries have come up with tactics other than give in to age as a number. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Most women in their sixties could no more ski than fly. Most have aches and pains by then. I'm in my 60s and I limp and hurt most of the time. Many will not even be able to stay on their feet long enough for a short trip to a department store. I'm sure there's some out there that are able to be more active, but it's going to narrow the field. I agree with the poster who suggested you simply take them out to eat and not list all the strenuous activities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 I assume, primarily based on their posted age ranges, that 'younger women' (60 and below) doubt a man my age can keep up with THEM. Have you ever tried to date younger? It might not be an assumption that you can't keep up, but that you'd die before them in the long run. Men typically die younger than women, right? My dad was the healthiest of his older years when he dropped dead of a heart attack at age 64. That alone would give me pause in dating anyone approaching that age. But I'm sure the right connection could change my mind. Why don't you just give 52-55 year olds a chance? Also, what if someone was chubby AND was a downhill skier, hiker, and ballroom dancer? Would you still write her off? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 @CO I have tried to date younger. Basically, I get no response. The one glaring case I noted was the 'younger' woman who liked my profile (I think she's 55), didn't pay attention to my clearly stated age, apologized when she realized my age and then decided not to meet. I'm open to dating younger but I've yet to meet a woman who's equally open to dating older. LOL - sure I'd date a chubby skier/hiker/dancer. And those activities are simply MY 'current things'. I'd have no objection to joining an interested gal for golf, tennis, bowling, boating, whatever. In the profile words of a 'younger woman' (60) whose 'explanation' for not dating me was that I was too enabling of my sons (two of whom were unemployed at the time but no longer), ''I think maybe you like fit looking ppl. Me too. Height weight proportional, visits a gym or runs and dances ?? regularly. Yoga. Something.'' (She's a swimmer and dancer.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I'm not interested (yet) in 'throwing in the towel'. Yes, I'm guilty of being picky. And I already get unsolicited messages from chunky, chubby, non-athletic, and older women. The response rate from that demographic is there even without me changing my profile. Fair enough... and thank you for your honesty. I really do want you to find happiness. Best of luck with your continued searching. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Yes, the women probably prefer more low key activities. I'm not interested (yet) in 'throwing in the towel'. For now, I'd rather be single and continue hunting/fishing. I assume, primarily based on their posted age ranges, that 'younger women' (60 and below) doubt a man my age can keep up with THEM.Yes, I'm guilty of being picky. And I already get unsolicited messages from chunky, chubby, non-athletic, and older women. The response rate from that demographic is there even without me changing my profile. As I admit, I'm picky - and not interested in 'going there' at this stage in my life. True. I started this thread to see if folks, especially my contemporaries have come up with tactics other than give in to age as a number. Not really , as l was saying my best friend is finally with the love of her life, she's 52, he's 65 ish , they travel everywhere hike all over, met on a hike in Spain. If l wrote here how in love she is it'd probably smoke LS haha. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 The problem as I see it is that 65+ is seen rightly or wrongly as "old", elderly, a pensioner, the cut off point for youth. So any younger (<60) woman trying to hold on to the last vestiges of her youth wants to avoid going there. She will be there herself soon enough, why catapult herself into "elderly" issues? The old rules of younger woman/older men fall away. Daddy issues, the need for stability, security, extra wisdom etc. become irrelevant and you are left with the bare bones of the matter. Women often then do not want the burden of caring for an older man, especially one they have just met. Yes, there will always be outliers and "love" tends to be blind, but when given a choice, many will baulk at the thought of a 65+ year old man, much like the men here are baulking at the thought of a 60+ yo woman. "Go younger nospam" is thus the message... Like all "strugglers" on here, nospam is ignoring the women who are interested in him in favour of those who show no interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 Summary to date: It sounds to me that most responses are coming from 'younger' posters (although I'm pretty sure at least one of you ladies has posted elsewhere that you're 'around my age'). Thanks, 'kids' ! The vibe I'm getting includes - yes, age is a significant factor (confirmation bias?) and - the 'tactic' is 'take them out to dinner cuz that's all they want to do' (been there, done that, got the t-shirt, yadda yadda). BTW, I DO love to eat. But I prefer to combine food with activity. Just about my favorite meal is a rather classy buffet at a mountain resort that features rock scrambling along with miles of hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding trails. Nothing like sharing a tablecloth/waiter/waitress dining room with a chef-carved beef and pork station and twenty-foot wood ceilings with a crowd of muddy people in their shorts, hoodies, and hiking boots. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 'Nothing like sharing a tablecloth/waiter/waitress dining room with a chef-carved beef and pork station and twenty-foot wood ceilings with a crowd of muddy people in their shorts, hoodies, and hiking boots.' I *do* love hiking and outdoors but wouldn't want to do this nospam99! Just sounds like too much/too long for a date for me. For an outing for me. But I'd meet someone there after their hike. 'Women often then do not want the burden of caring for an older man, especially one they have just met.' I think that says it all elaine567. My generation was raised/conditioned to care for others and though we broke out of the mold and did careers and stuff for me the careers were largely responsiblities for others, I raised a child mostly alone, and I already have an assortment of aging/sick friends and relatives. Part of being a woman my background my age is you take care of others, even acquiesce to others to some degree, and yes there is a part of me doesn't want to attach to someone whose needs will come before mine. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Age is not the problem.....no more than the struggling shorter guys height is the problem... The thought that every 50s/60;s year old woman is in a rocking chair, knitting quilts and doting over grandchildren, only willing to go out on Sunday to the early bird special is ridiculous... They are out there...For whatever reason the OP hasn't been able to connect with one....Like a lot of things in life, if an honest effort is put forth with little to no result, then one needs to regroup and perhaps reset the parameters...Or wait for the proverbial unicorn...That's the choice here... Also be careful taking someone's opinion for why they wont be with you at face value or as gospel...People lie under these circumstances...The same woman that tells a guy that his age is a problem is the same woman that will date a guy even older because he has more of what she is looking for...She has no compunction to tell the guy the real truth here, so its reasonable and probable that what she is saying is really "technically" not true...It just sounds less mean... .02 TFY 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 If you're healthy and not presenting yourself like Theodore John Kaczynski in the Montana wilderness, women in your age group will be thrilled to meet a man who's still functional and healthy. If you're targeting women in their 40's and 50's, maybe not so much, but stick to your age group, 60's and 70's and there are tons of widows/divorcees out there who will enjoy a healthy man. IMO, though a couple years younger, real life does far better than electrons. I'll get more interaction with women fishing at the beach or driving one of my old cars, as examples, than I ever would, or did, with online dating sites. Heck I meet women at the hardware store, grocery store, VA hall, farmer's market, volunteer fire department, train museum, you name it. All it takes is touching up the scruff a bit and getting out there. Do what you enjoy doing. Want to meet a ton of women? Volunteer to do some manly things like donated construction at the local animal shelter. Those places are overrun with women. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Just about my favorite meal is a rather classy buffet at a mountain resort that features rock scrambling along with miles of hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding trails. Nothing like sharing a tablecloth/waiter/waitress dining room with a chef-carved beef and pork station and twenty-foot wood ceilings with a crowd of muddy people in their shorts, hoodies, and hiking boots. How many people in that crowd are typically 60-65 year old women? Start there.... Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 (edited) Well if ya love someone of course any decent women would care for them just like any decent man will care for her and usually ends up doing one helluva lot of that anyway. Dad had to care for mum and l've never had wife or gf near my age but l can tell you they've been 3 times more maintenance than me , at least, even gf now as fit as she is but yet even she also has many issues as well. Not saying any of that in a resentful way they can't help it, just sayin. Edited October 22, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 . Just about my favorite meal is a rather classy buffet at a mountain resort that features rock scrambling along with miles of hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding trails. So who else is hanging around in that resort? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Also be careful taking someone's opinion for why they wont be with you at face value or as gospel...People lie under these circumstances...The same woman that tells a guy that his age is a problem is the same woman that will date a guy even older because he has more of what she is looking for...She has no compunction to tell the guy the real truth here, so its reasonable and probable that what she is saying is really "technically" not true...It just sounds less mean... I think of all the options available, telling a man of 65, that he is too old IS a pretty mean option. Whatever happened to "We do not seem to be compatible, you seem to be athletic and sporty and I just want to read books and do some shopping...". "I think you are too old" should surely be held in reserve for a persistent annoying guy who won't take no for an answer... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I think of all the options available, telling a man of 65, that he is too old IS a pretty mean option. . Maybe.....But lets face it, its far less mean than telling a guy he's butt ugly, has no sex appeal, is boring, annoying, etc, no? TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Though I'm not in your age group (I'm 43), I just wanted to chime in that I consider men up to about 10 years older or so without hesitation, maybe even older if he seems especially cool and we have a lot in common. I just got back on a dating site yesterday, and while I've gotten messages from men from age 25 to 55, the sweet spot so far is my age up to 10 years older. Also, I intend to stay as active as I can for the rest of my life. My mom's in her 70s, dad's in his 80s, and they're both still remarkably active for their ages. I play tennis, and one of the things I love about it is that you can feasibly do it at any age. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Just about my favorite meal is a rather classy buffet at a mountain resort that features rock scrambling along with miles of hiking, mountain biking, and horseback riding trails. Nothing like sharing a tablecloth/waiter/waitress dining room with a chef-carved beef and pork station and twenty-foot wood ceilings with a crowd of muddy people in their shorts, hoodies, and hiking boots. So why not do as Alpha does and set up a meet up group? Advertise it to people who are into an outdoors lifestyle. Come to think of it, I'd be surprised if these meetup groups don't already exist. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 I am just a whipper snapper at 41 - my parents are 75 and still very active. My mom rides horses every day and they load up their rig and haul out to competitions throughout the west. My dad did just recently give up his race car, said reflexes weren't what they used to be. They have a large group of friends in their age range that are active like they are. Other ladies that horse back ride. They hike, and camp, and go traveling - this summer it was exploring NYC and then hiking in Vermont. That said, there are a number of single women they are friends with, and I don't know how many are actively seeking romance. They seem to have full, active lives spent with friends and family - I can't imagine many have online dating profiles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 So who else is hanging around in that resort? Nowadays it's mostly 'young' (30-something) families with children and Asian tourists with cameras who walk the ornamental gardens but don't do the hikes or scrambles. The only 'older woman' I've encountered there was the ONE who agreed to doing it as a date. Also, it ain't cheap. So as much as I enjoy it, I've yet to get motivated enough to go alone - sitting at that clothed table and having a waiter/tress bring me my lemonade with no one else is just .... boring and lonely. And as much as my kids would love for me to treat them one mo' time, I don't wanna. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 So why not do as Alpha does and set up a meet up group? Advertise it to people who are into an outdoors lifestyle. Come to think of it, I'd be surprised if these meetup groups don't already exist. I'm already IN several meetup groups that do that type of hiking. I brought up the resort to follow the discussion on dining dates - but it happens to kill two birds for me because the hiking is there, too. The resort I described is expensive and individuals in meetup groups typically don't want to go for more than $30/event even with restaurant food included. The place in question runs about $80/person - no problem for me and a woman I'd want to take there as a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 Age is not the problem.....no more than the struggling shorter guys height is the problem... It's funny you should mention this... I was telling my girlfriend (who is originally from New York) about "nospam99" and his difficulties in dating in the New York area. When I mentioned his height, she told me any man under 6' is going to have more difficulty dating. She continued that she turned down a doctor in NYC because he was 5' 8" (that wanted to date her). Anything under 6' was a "deal breaker" for her. I do think shorter guys have it a lot tougher (dating) than taller guys. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 sitting at that clothed table and having a waiter/tress bring me my lemonade with no one else is just .... boring and lonely. Does the place have a bar where you can be less conspicuous about having that lemonade? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Share Posted October 23, 2019 Does the place have a bar where you can be less conspicuous about having that lemonade? There is nothing conspicuous about lemonade there. I don't drink much. In any case, sorry but the resort is DRY, along with all its other 'unique' historical, natural, architectural, and geological characteristics. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 women in their 50s who are also attractive and in shape will mostly date younger men with good incomes and nice cars/homes Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts