I was a bad BF

[ussoldier2002]

I have a huge problem. My ex and I were together for 1 year and 2 days. When we first got together it was great. However I lost my job about 7-8 months into the relationship. I couldn't find work and she had to support me. I felt like crap about myself and stopped showing her affection. She was unhappy for about three months. And she finally left. I started working like 4 days later. As soon as I got my first paycheck I gave her $200 to make things right. The next day I left her a rose and another long letter on her car while she was at work telling her how I wanted her back. 2 days later she told me she wasn't coming back. I went home and called a friend of mine and told her what happened. She took it upon herself to call her and see what was going on. My ex thought I had put her up to calling her. In truth I had given my friend her number so she could get a hold of me because we worked together. My ex knew her also so it wasn't like some strange lady called her. But my ex had told her she might come back. I went 2 weeks without calling or even contacting her, which is hard because I have class with her 3 times a week. Last night I dropped off a note and a rose at her house and all the note said was "I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you". I am pretty sure she is dating a guy in our class. My questions is have I gone to far and screwed everything up for good or is there still a chance? If there is a chance what should I do next and when should I do it? When I go to class I act like it doesn't bother me but she is doing the same thing (I don't know if she's acting or not). The funny thing is that about 2 or 3 time they came into class late together but he never sits with her. WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! How can I get her back and prove to her that I am not the piece of crap I was when we were together. As of Oct 1 we have been broken up for 3 weeks. PLEASE HELP ME GET HER BACK!!!!

[jordkorn]

I understand totally. I was sith the girl of my dreams for 1 year and 3 months we did everything together. Sometimes I would get angry and take it out on her. I did not talk to her about our problems and wish I did but i felt like why shoulud I talk to her if she would not let me do the things i wanted to do. Now i lost her and need to get her back to and prove i can make it up to her

[SexualDeviant]

I know exactly how you feel and it's been my experience that wondering is a horrible thing, you have to sit her down and talk to her explain how you feel and tell her you're tired of waiting around for something that might not be. make sure you get a clear response, if it's a ''no'' than you have to let it go.

[oh_what_am_I_doing]

You were together one year and two days? So what did you do (or didn't do) for your anniversary? That might be the straw that broke the camel's back. She might have been looking for romance but didn't get any. A little romance can go a long way. But it sounds like you need more than just a little romance to get you back on track. You're already trying the roses route though it sounds like it's not working. I think it's time to try something else. Of course, there's no guarantee that trying something else will work, but it's like my mom told me the other day, you're not going to lose anything by trying.

 

First of all, when you see her in class, don't put on this front that you are fine if you are not. Tell her you miss her and don't want to live without her anymore. My boyfriend and I are in class together too and if he were to act all fine after breaking up, I would just ignore him too. It also sounds like you need to do something dramatic IN PERSON. You left a note and rose on her car.... you dropped things off at the house (not sure if you gave it to her or just rang the doorbell and split....) In any case, look her in the eyes and talk to her.

 

If I were missing my boyfriend and sad that we didn't celebrate our anniversary, this is what I would want: an anniversary day, even if it is several weeks late. Plan a nice dinner, get a nice gift (or make a nice gift would even be better) . It doesn't even have to cost a cent if you don't have it. You can make a picnic lunch (don't forget the dessert and warm drinks.... mmm spiced apple cider this time of year is good!) and eat it somewhere romantic. The details are important. Use a tablecloth, use real stemware, not styrofoam cups, etc.

 

You can make a collage of photos of the two of you or a scrapbook.... Make a mixed tape of romantic songs, take her somewhere secluded, pop the tape in the car's tape deck and start whirling her around. You could place a few romantic comments from your own voicebox in between each song. You can create a romantic scavenger hunt. You could make a romantic crossword puzzle or word search using puzzlemaker.school.discovery.com . The more of these romantic ideas you can cram into one anniversary make-up day, the better your chances of winning her back.